[Joe.]

hey, many of you know about my figure series.

Well here's all the episode titles...

1. When Planets Collide [Part 1]
2. The Scavenger Daleks [Part 2]
3. The King's Castle
4. Mount. Alaska
5. Return to Pinorthis [Part 1]
6. Flashing Lights [Part 2]
7. Out of Orbit [Part 3]
8. The Last days of Life [Part 4]

The finale [5-8] will be up on four different days in four different parts
They'll be on the 15th, 17th, 19th & 21st

So, in preperation for the finale [[which I am SO proud of]], watch the four episodes so far, I'll be posting one per day in this thread.

Please no negative posts -_-

Here's episode 1, When Planets Collide...

Youtube video

[Scarlett.]

o.o

[Jordan.]

LOL, didn't you post this before?

[Joe.]

Originally Posted by Jordan.

LOL, didn't you post this before?

Yeah but the four part finale is coming up and it's pretty easy for you to lol, you haven't watched them.

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Joe.

I gurantee that if you watch episodes 1-8 back-to-back you'll feel like crying by the end.

[Jack_]

I gurantee that if you watch episodes 1-8 back-to-back you'll feel like crying by the end. Because I believe the plot is strong enough and the characters you can relate with ect.

Post of the year.

[Niall]

Originally Posted by Joe.

I gurantee that if you watch episodes 1-8 back-to-back you'll feel like crying by the end. Because I believe the plot is strong enough and the characters you can relate with ect.

[Joe.]

[Jordan.]

Originally Posted by Joe.

I gurantee that if you watch episodes 1-8 back-to-back you'll feel like crying by the end. Because I believe the plot is strong enough and the characters you can relate with ect.

[Daniel McIver]

Originally Posted by Jordan.

[Ramsay]

i swear its like you want people to laugh at you

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Karl

i swear its like you want people to laugh at you

I was thinking that

[Boothy]

Originally Posted by Karl

i swear its like you want people to laugh at you

[Stu]

I'm actually going to watch it and scour it for bad dialogue. Much more fun than just ignorantly laughing at it. BRB.

EDIT : Okay we open with a suited man coming out of a phonebox in the grass and proclaiming thus : 'Ahh the Planet of Pinorthis!'.

So far so good.

EDIT : He is immediately greeted by a thuggish looking bloke with a gun who has been expecting the good Doctor. Presumably to alleviate any misconceptions that him and his old bird may just have been hanging around a phonebox all day. A phonebox in an endless expanse of grass floating in space.

You have a gift for this, Joe.

EDIT : After a few nail biting moments of getting up to speed chit chatting, they step into what looks like a nuclear timebomb. The sort one might put in a Submarine's undercompartment in a James Bond movie. It is of course just a toy. Not a nuclear bomb capable of making this story exciting.

The Doctor bloke has a bit of an Acid flashback or something to a time when the planet was infested with MONSTERS. We know it's a flashback because the scene turns monochrome. A time tested, effective narrative device.

EDIT : They land in present time inside a cardboard box. I shit you not. They muse that this new planet is beautiful. Much like the old planet it appears to be the grass from Joe's backyard perusing it's way through an endless void. A dead expanse of exploded star matter. A potent metaphor for my current thoughts on this saga.

More after these messages ...

[Joe.]

Originally Posted by Stu

I'm actually going to watch it and scour it for bad dialogue. Much more fun than just ignorantly laughing at it. BRB.

EDIT : Okay we open with a suited man coming out of a phonebox in the grass and proclaiming thus : 'Ahh the Planet of Pinorthis!'.

So far so good.

EDIT : He is immediately greeted by a thuggish looking bloke with a gun who has been expecting the good Doctor. Presumably to alleviate any misconceptions that him and his old bird may just have been hanging around a phonebox all day. A phonebox in an endless expanse of grass floating in space.

You have a gift for this, Joe.

EDIT : After a few nail biting moments of getting up to speed chit chatting, they step into what looks like a nuclear timebomb. The sort one might put in a Submarine's undercompartment in a James Bond movie. It is of course just a toy. Not a nuclear bomb capable of making this story exciting.

The Doctor bloke has a bit of an Acid flashback or something to a time when the planet was infested with MONSTERS. We know it's a flashback because the scene turns monochrome. A time tested, effective narrative device.

EDIT : They land in present time inside a cardboard box. I shit you not. They muse that this new planet is beautiful. Much like the old planet it appears to be the grass from Joe's backyard perusing it's way through an endless void. A dead expanse of exploded star matter. A potent metaphor for my current thoughts on this saga.

More after these messages ...

Thanks When's more?

[Scarlett.]

I <3 Stu lmao

[Boothy]

The only thing that makes me feel like crying in that video is the terrible photo editing.

[Niall]

Originally Posted by Stu

I'm actually going to watch it and scour it for bad dialogue. Much more fun than just ignorantly laughing at it. BRB.

EDIT : Okay we open with a suited man coming out of a phonebox in the grass and proclaiming thus : 'Ahh the Planet of Pinorthis!'.

So far so good.

EDIT : He is immediately greeted by a thuggish looking bloke with a gun who has been expecting the good Doctor. Presumably to alleviate any misconceptions that him and his old bird may just have been hanging around a phonebox all day. A phonebox in an endless expanse of grass floating in space.

You have a gift for this, Joe.

EDIT : After a few nail biting moments of getting up to speed chit chatting, they step into what looks like a nuclear timebomb. The sort one might put in a Submarine's undercompartment in a James Bond movie. It is of course just a toy. Not a nuclear bomb capable of making this story exciting.

The Doctor bloke has a bit of an Acid flashback or something to a time when the planet was infested with MONSTERS. We know it's a flashback because the scene turns monochrome. A time tested, effective narrative device.

EDIT : They land in present time inside a cardboard box. I shit you not. They muse that this new planet is beautiful. Much like the old planet it appears to be the grass from Joe's backyard perusing it's way through an endless void. A dead expanse of exploded star matter. A potent metaphor for my current thoughts on this saga.

More after these messages ...

Originally Posted by Boothy

The only thing that makes me feel like crying in that video is the terrible photo editing.

[Joe.]

Originally Posted by Boothy

The only thing that makes me feel like crying in that video is the terrible photo editing.

It's only one bad photo.

[Stacey.]

[Stu]

The Stu review is sponsered by TruthRDare's Sarcasm Detector Ultra. Because you have no idea what's really going on.

Welcome back.

Our heroes now find themselves in some hip joint complete with computer terminal thingy and weird designs. Gun blokes missus reveals that this time the problem is 'weather patterns'. I'll just bet. We are introduced to two new characters. A black woman I'm going to call Larissa LaVerne for the sheer heck of it and a bloke with the surname 'Lemson' ... Lemon and the Doctor realize they have met before and we cut instantly to a monochrome photo of them being pursued by a miniature plastic monster in Joe's backyard. Indeed they have met before.

The photo changes and now the monster says 'ROAR'. We then cut back to the hip cardboard crazy club where Lemon says 'Yeah, god I was terrified!'. I'm not making this up.

The white lady changes the subject back to the weather. She says we have been getting lightning. The Doc says that's impossible. Lemon chips in and says 'That's what I said!'.

I think Lemon has a thing for the Doc.

Larissa says there is something changing the planet's weather from the center of the earth. She found it, and I quote, on 'the conflabulator'.

I'm conflabulated!

The Doc wonders why he was called to investigate all of this mess and we are told that THREE PEOPLE HAVE DIED! We cut ... wait for it ... to shots of three individual action figures dispersed at various points throughout the backyard. One is described as a Janitor although he is dressed in all black with a gun and multiple pockets for storing munitions. The fuck?

Another is shown collapsed in the doorway of the yellow thing our heroes landed in which makes me believe the entire plot is a shambolic cover up of what was in reality a horrendous vehicular accident/hit and run/crazed scientific rampage style deal. Those are exciting options though so I'm guessing it's none of them.

The hit and run victim was Larissa's man which would lead me to believe the good Doctor himself was trying to instigate a race war if it were not for the fact that her man is a whitey. Then again the Janitor is decked out in Sean Connery's gear from The Rock so who knows.

Who knows.

Apparently they all died from a blow to the back of the head. Blow. Lol.

The Doctor wagers that whoever did this did not want to be seen. This guy's fast off the mark, isin't he? He also adds that a blow to the head is simple but effective. Lol.

Now we reach 2:08 in the video which you OWE TO YOURSELF TO WATCH.

It's the best four seconds in the history of anything. Just watch it.

Back after these messages ...

[Boothy]

Originally Posted by Stu

The Stu review is sponsered by TruthRDare's Sarcasm Detector Ultra. Because you have no idea what's really going on.

Welcome back.

Our heroes now find themselves in some hip joint complete with computer terminal thingy and weird designs. Gun blokes missus reveals that this time the problem is 'weather patterns'. I'll just bet. We are introduced to two new characters. A black woman I'm going to call Larissa LaVerne for the sheer heck of it and a bloke with the surname 'Lemson' ... Lemon and the Doctor realize they have met before and we cut instantly to a monochrome photo of them being pursued by a miniature plastic monster in Joe's backyard. Indeed they have met before.

The photo changes and now the monster says 'ROAR'. We then cut back to the hip cardboard crazy club where Lemon says 'Yeah, god I was terrified!'. I'm not making this up.

The white lady changes the subject back to the weather. She says we have been getting lightning. The Doc says that's impossible. Lemon chips in and says 'That's what I said!'.

I think Lemon has a thing for the Doc.

Larissa says there is something changing the planet's weather from the center of the earth. She found it, and I quote, on 'the conflabulator'.

I'm conflabulated!

The Doc wonders why he was called to investigate all of this mess and we are told that THREE PEOPLE HAVE DIED! We cut ... wait for it ... to shots of three individual action figures dispersed at various points throughout the backyard. One is described as a Janitor although he is dressed in all black with a gun and multiple pockets for storing munitions. The fuck?

Another is shown collapsed in the doorway of the yellow thing our heroes landed in which makes me believe the entire plot is a shambolic cover up of what was in reality a horrendous vehicular accident/hit and run/crazed scientific rampage style deal. Those are exciting options though so I'm guessing it's none of them.

The hit and run victim was Larissa's man which would lead me to believe the good Doctor himself was trying to instigate a race war if it were not for the fact that her man is a whitey. Then again the Janitor is decked out in Sean Connery's gear from The Rock so who knows.

Who knows.

Apparently they all died from a blow to the back of the head. Blow. Lol.

The Doctor wagers that whoever did this did not want to be seen. This guy's fast off the mark, isin't he? He also adds that a blow to the head is simple but effective. Lol.

Now we reach 2:08 in the video which you OWE TO YOURSELF TO WATCH.

It's the best four seconds in the history of anything. Just watch it.

Back after these messages ...

[Stu]

*sigh*

The things I do to entertain ...

Anyway after the planet shaking collision of 2:08 the Doctor comfirms 'the planet has shifted'. Dumb white woman follows this up with 'what do you mean?'. The Doc get's nostalgic about the date ... claiming it must somehow be important. Two seconds later he says forget it and calculates using that awesome brain of his that the planet moved one million miles across the universe in just under two seconds. It's amazing that they appear in perfect health after such a devastating cosmic event.

I'm going to assume that a great deal of metaphysical research was done just prior to the shooting of this project but let's just break this down for a moment here :

- The planet jumps one million miles across the space time continuum in a mere two seconds.

- None of the primary cast appear in any sort of distress. Furthermore their hairstyles and attire remain perfectly intact.

- The ship they arrived in is IN THE SAME POSITION AND IS STILL UPRIGHT.

Compare this to a recent event in our own present day existence :

Spoiler:

Now ... and open your mind real wide here ... this devastating geographical near apocalypse was instigated by some very, very meaningless physical meanderings on the cosmic scale. Certainly a lot less than ... oh say ... a fucking planet doing this :

Spoiler:

YEARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


VIN DIESEL IS DRIVING US ONE MILLION MILES ACROSS THE GALAXY TO AN UNSATISFYING CONCLUSION!

And what changes? What changes I ask? Why not a fucking bit. The Doc and his merry band of disaster immune nitwits do nothing save for undergo a few seconds of dodgy shakey cam, wibbly wobbly special effects.

And it all turns out just fine.





The Doctor says he won't fight because fighting is not his style. What a pussy. Back in my day action heroes were real men. Men like Goldberg in Universal Soldier and Nicholas Cage in ... anything. Doc wonders who else is around and dumb whitey says Razor is around. Razor works the labs, apparently. They let a guy named 'Razor' work the labs?

Doc says take me there as he gapes uncontrollably at whitey's ass. He needs to see the injuries of the dead guys. We see one of the dead blokes undergo a prognosis from who I assume is Razor. Portrayed here by Ricky Martin. In between Livin' La Vida Loca he explains that a bite to the back of the head was the cause of death which would contradict the earlier amateur postmortem which described it as a blow.

I've gotten my head blown a few times over the course of my wild teenage years and I can tell you ... the pros don't bite. There's a difference.

Anyway the victim's head is resting on a lab bed that is absoloutely pumping with fucking blood. Didn't they clean the guy up before bringing him in here? Is he an eternal haemophiliac who will just bleed and bleed until this whole sorry saga ends? Stitch him up, Razor!

Razor?

It's making more sense now. I think slash hope.

Razor has a periodic table of elements in his lab. Because ... uhh ... I'm not sure. Did this guy buy his medical cert off the internet?

ZOMBIES! Or something like zombies. They come at Razor. Mutants perhaps. We skip ahead in time as the Doc and whitey come into the lab. Razor is on the floor. He is deeply distraught and possibly the victim of some trans-species sexual assualt.

The Weevils got away but Razor managed to scan them. Oh yeah. Weevils, baby.






BREAK.

[Stephanie]

Originally Posted by Stu

He is deeply distraught and possibly the victim of some trans-species sexual assualt.

PMSL.

*dies*

[Joe.]

Originally Posted by Stu

The hit and run victim was Larissa's man which would lead me to believe the good Doctor himself was trying to instigate a race war if it were not for the fact that her man is a whitey.

A particular highlight. There's still 7 episodes to go. I know this is making fun of it. Can you do any better?