[Smithy]

One Direction 'One Thing':
The new Beatles? Cockroaches more like.

Cover Drive 'Twilight':
Cliche-riddled drivel from Barbados proving conclusively that Rihanna is the only Barbadian star the world needs.

Nicki Minaj 'Starships': ()
Oh Nicki! From hip-hop pioneer to hopping on the commercial club bandwagon. A shocking pop smash.

Olly Murs 'Oh My Goodness':
There appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel of Mur-related bleakness.

Flo Rida 'Good Feeling':
No one is safe and nothing is sacred as Flo Rida plunders music history to score cheap, disposable hits. This one doesn't even have Sia on it.

Cher Lloyd 'Want U Back':
Third single, first flop. Oh well, that was that etc.

Justin Bieber 'Boyfriend':
PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP.

Jessie J 'Laser Light':
As her fame grows, her standards slip. 'Price Tag' it ain't.

Keane 'Silenced By The Night':
Trying to sound like The Killers, it's still wet, limp, simpering nonsense.

Madonna 'Girl Gone Wild':
She can do better - can't she?

Jason Mraz 'I Won't Give Up':
This Jack Johnson wannabe just doesn't know when to quit - as he freely admits here.

Paris Hilton 'Drunk Text':
It's so awful, there's no video for this one. Trust us, you're safer not hearing this awful excuse for 'music'. We've listened so you don't have to.

LMFAO 'Sorry For Party Rocking':
A meaningless apology.

Alexandra Burke 'Elephant': ()
As subtle as the animal it's named after, did she really win a TV talent contest to churn out autotuned filler like this?

Chris Brown 'Turn Up The Music':
Not only is this awful human being still allowed to make music, he scored his first No.1 with this chronic track. Funny old world.

Rihanna feat. Chris Brown 'Birthday Cake':
Less enjoyable than being punched repeatedly in the face on the way to an award ceremony.

Madonna 'Give Me All Your Luvin':
Hopes were so high! The reality was so low...

Tulisa 'Young':
Considering what she did to promote her debut single, we dread to think what Tulisa is cooking up for her album release...

Dappy 'Rockstar':
Oh Brian May. We expected more of you. We had no such hopes for Dappy, however.

Accurate article is accurate