[Redway]

... non-verbal communication-game saying?

I could be referencing to any bit of the body involved in that conveyance but I'm talking more about facial expressions and how varied yours are, and how. Some people have RBFs and that's fine but some people appreciate carrying a bit more nuance in their outer expressions and that's worthy of tapping into as a conversation-thread, IMO. So let's get to it.

[Kate!]

Scuse me asking please. What is RBF?

I'm very expressive facially. And I gesture a lot, talk with my hands.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Kate!

Scuse me asking please. What is RBF?

I'm very expressive facially. And I gesture a lot, talk with my hands.

Resting bitch-face (you're just going to have to excuse me just-this once, Niamh). Basically very poker-faced in a way that can be misinterpreted as rude or disinterested.

[Kate!]

Originally Posted by Redway

Resting bitch-face (you're just going to have to excuse me just-this once, Niamh). Basically very poker-faced in a way that can be misinterpreted as rude or disinterested.

Ah I see. Thank you. Good thread. Hope it provides plenty talking points, it should do.

[Niamh.]

I definitely have a RBF

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I definitely have a RBF

Do you get misunderstood/misinterpreted much because of that? Or not really?

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Redway

Do you get misunderstood/misinterpreted much because of that? Or not really?

Probably, I'm not a people person in real life Small talk/mingling with people I don't know is my worst nightmare.................so maybe it's the correct interpretation

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Probably, I'm not a people person in real life Small talk/mingling with people I don't know is my worst nightmare.................so maybe it's the correct interruption

I'm not the sort of person who'd actively tell someone to button it just because I'm trying to talk but yeah. In internal reality I have as much tolerance for being interrupted when I'm speaking as Judge Judy. Ditto for people playing music on a bit too loudly over people they know have low or quiet voices and just expecting them to comfortably project over it. In my book of unwritten etiquette you lower the music for anyone but especially someone who obviously doesn't talk as loud and you air more on the side of being inclined to hear them out without too much interruption. People fundamentally have different ways of subtle communication when it comes to expectations and preferences and they can just be taken the wrong way or misinterpreted if the person's someone who needs a while to get used to you (if, say, they ain't used to people listening to them more than trying to jump in when they're talking). You'd think that usually it would be fine and that might be true but crossed wires still happen here-and-there.

[Kate!]

I'm the opposite to Niamh in this respect, I frequently talk to strangers and strike up conversations. Sometimes I think I'm not confident but I guess I must be.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Redway

I'm not the sort of person who'd actively tell someone to button it just because I'm trying to talk but yeah. In internal reality I have as much tolerance for being interrupted when I'm speaking as Judge Judy. Ditto for people playing music on a bit too loudly over people they know have low or quiet voices and just expecting them to comfortably project over it. In my book of unwritten etiquette you lower the music for anyone but especially someone who obviously doesn't talk as loud and you air more on the side of being inclined to hear them out without too much interruption. People fundamentally have different ways of subtle communication when it comes to expectations and preferences and they can just be taken the wrong way or misinterpreted if the person's someone who needs a while to get used to you (if, say, they ain't used to people listening to them more than trying to jump in when they're talking). You'd think that usually it would be fine and that might be true but crossed wires still happen here-and-there.

I meant to say correct "interpretation"

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Kate!

I'm the opposite to Niamh in this respect, I frequently talk to strangers and strike up conversations. Sometimes I think I'm not confident but I guess I must be.

I think what it is, Kate, is that there are different types of confidence. You can have a very, very strong internal core of self-affirming beliefs that you're almost narcissistically confident about but be awkward about going about it in the external realm and projecting yourself in social situations. I think a lot of people assume someone's unconfident based on outward demeanour (because that's all they see) but in reality that might be only half the story at-most. I feel like everyone's got things to do with them they're confident about and things they're not so confident about.

[Redway]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I meant to say correct "interpretation"

Ah. Gotcha.

But still. If they don't know you like that, it's not exactly gonna be rare for interpretative cues to be missing. They might assume you're a snob when you just prefer not to talk to strangers you don't need to talk to and add a layer of interpretation that isn't actually there. People can just get you so wrong if you're a bit quiet for their liking, but ultimately that shouldn't ever be your problem.