[Garfie]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..one man’s tosh is another man’s interest in people, Kirk..(..or woman’s interest I should say..)...there is usually a reason why egos feel the need to be fed, some kind of insecurity which is very deep...maybe I do overthink things..I do tend to explore under the surface rather than actions, which is what my working life has often been about...maybe it isn’t appropriate in BB though, maybe actions and behaviour highlighted is the only thing..?..that’s what is voted on with the public etc...that’s what realitiy shows are as intended...I am what I am though and I do what I do and my thoughts can’t help themselves...and it keeps interest for me, so I’m quite happy with that, I’m quite happy with me...and it’s taken me a long time to be, I can tell you...Lord oh Lord it’s taken a long time but I got there...

I'm with you on tending to try to explore beneath the surface of actions, and I honestly think Kirk tends to do a little of that too. And there's nothing wrong with that, Ammi. I find that to be one of the most fascinating things to do when watching BB. I think in some of us there's an uncontrollable urge or need, to try to understand people though, and in my view, that's a positive thing. So, be proud of who you are, and don't feel the need to apologise for yourself.

I think, however, it is possible to see beneath the surface, have some empathy for a housemate, and still judge actions as selfish and wrong. There are deep rooted reasons why we all do what we do, but at the end of the day, most of us also know the difference between right and wrong, and decide whether we allow the experiences we have to influence our behaviour in a way that harms others or not. By the age of 35, whatever the reasons behind our behaviour, we are also aware of acceptable behaviour within a relationship, especially when it is as blatant as Roxanne's.

I'm sure if we tried to analyse Roxanne's behaviour, we could say her desperate need for love and attention, particularly from men, is a result of her never having had a loving father on the scene. We could also say all the amateur dramatics and playing up to the camera is a way of letting observers know she is feeling insecure, and in its own way is a cry for help. We could say that emotionally she is stuck in child mode because her need for attention from a father was never fulfilled as a child

However, I also believe that there are different personality types, and as someone said on BOTS last night, Roxanne is a narcissist, and that also determines how she reacts to any demons she might have, and whether she uses them as an excuse to hurt others.

Whatever the deep rooted reasons for her actions, the impact of them on others is still the same, and she is fully aware of that impact, which is why she is also showing so many signs of guilt - the kissing of the engagement ring being one of the most obvious examples. Sadly, despite that awareness and guilt, a narcissist will continue with the same behaviour, as the desire to fulfil their own needs is so much greater than their concern for the feelings of those they love. Hence we have Roxanne.

Just my analysis of Roxanne though.......!