[Matthew.]

“Going to university has nothing to do with intelligence...”


Only on Big Brother would you see the argument of whether you’d rather have people think you have piles or a verruca

Sunshine: “I came into a room full of people, sat down, and one of the first things you said was, oh let’s use Sunshine’s verruca cream because she’s got verrucas on her foot!”
Ben: “ I know”
Sunshine: “But you’re still finding it funny, Ben ”
Ben: “No, I’m not finding it funny...”
Sunshine: “Like I’m almost CRYING and you’re LAUGHING.”
Ben: “Oh, I’m not laughing at you, I’m really sorry, I’ve got... a black sense of humour, people always... My friends...”
Sunshine: “You realise we’re on TV? ”
Ben: “Yes, of course I realise!”
Sunshine: “Would you like me to announce to the nation...”
Ben: “That I have PILES or something?”
Sunshine: “No, because it’s an infectious condition, would you want people to know that?”
Ben: “No, of course not, the point is you don’t have a verruca, that’s why I said it as a joke! It would be as if I went on holiday recently with a group of friends - admittedly it wasn’t on television - and they made a joke the WHOLE holiday, let’s use some of Benji’s pile cream. Now, piles is MUCH worse! Piles implies you’ve got something wrong with your bum! I didn’t have piles!”
Sunshine: “Yeah, but that was not infectious...”