[Jake.]

Originally Posted by Jake.

So the fifth eviction is over and this week in general has just been really interesting The Live Eviction episode itself was probably one of the best of the series too, pretty uncomfortable but some amazing arguments.

Day 33/34/35(Live Eviction)/36(Saskia Evicted)
1. Makosi
Been a bit quiet since cidergate but she’s still the most interesting and is still playing the best game.
2. Derek
I don’t think I’ll ever bore of Derek’s commentary?
“She just looks like a witch.”
“I’d rather go to a public execution.”
Vanessa: “Sorry, can you just give us five minutes?”, Derek: “No, is the short answer to that, I must get on.”
He’s just fantastic and I feel foolish for ever saying otherwise.
3. Kemal
“At least someone got wet tonight... and it wasn’t Saskia.”
Kemal helped make the fifth week legendary and it makes such a change as to how he was the week before. Literally, no fucks given. He handled himself against Maxwell and Saskia brilliantly.
4. Science
His stubbornness can sometimes be on the line of being irritating (i.e. refusing to take on any role in the task other than the narrator), but he’s still a fantastic housemate and like Kemal, his approach to Maxwell is amazing.
5. Vanessa
“GUESS WHAT THAT DIRTY LITTLE PROSTITUTE JUST SAID TO ME!”
Again, she doesn’t feature much but when she does she’s an absolute mess
6. Saskia
Ok so wait, hear me out. Saskia was awful and fuck having to live with her, but her final week was without a doubt iconic. The desperation, the fear of being evicted, shagging Maxwell (or whatever it was they were doing) thinking it would do some good, the delusion of her thinking she would beat anyone else aside from Maxwell, going off like a bomb and making herself even more disliked by the housemates and the public... It was just a perfect end to the story of someone so self-confident.
7. Orlaith
Like before, perfectly fine but I think Kemal hit the nail on the head regarding the fact that she’s probably hesitant to slag off Anthony because she’s aware of his public reception (which I’m guessing is positive? God knows why.. Oh wait, sr8 white “hunk” lol).
8. Craig
It really annoys me that he’s aligned himself to Maxwell and Anthony because we’re missing out on an amazing housemate imo. I’m hoping whenever it is that Maxwell leaves, we’ll see the best of Craig.
9. Eugene
Ok I feel kinda bad but wtf is he doing? Telling stories about washing machines and first aid courses and piloting planes to people who clearly don’t give a toss? It’s fine to be a bit odd and eccentric but it’s coming off a bit false and boring. He’s trying to find his place which I understand, but he’s not going to appeal to the likes of Derek anytime soon.
10. Maxwell
Only rated above Anthony because he’s slightly more developed but yeah, an absolute delusion div.
11. Anthony
“Orlaith, have you ever had a threesome?”, “Orlaith, have you ever made out with another girl?”, “Orlaith, have you pleasured yourself since being in here?”. FUCKING ONE NOTE DIPSHIT

Bit of a low-key week, toilet brush-gate aside. Still enjoyable though.

Day 37-43 (Maxwell Evicted)
1. Makosi
Queen of feeling like she’s pregnant despite not being pregnant
Also, her prank against Anthony (telling him she’d been on a secret mission and had swapped Maxwell with him to face the public vote) was genius.
2. Science
Victorious against Maxwell and rightly so
3. Derek
4. Craig
-sits at Science’s party, looking as glum as sin-
*Fighter by Christina Aguilera plays*
“OH MY GOD CHRISTINA, THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG!!”
-proceeds to grind up Vanessa against the window facing the bedroom-
5. Vanessa
6. Orlaith
7. Kemal
8. Anthony
Was far more tolerable this week! I liked the fact he tried to care for Science after he’d had too much to drink.
9. Eugene
Nice but still incredibly awkward and not in a fun way.
10. Maxwell
Probably the most disgusting individual to have ever graced the house. I loved how he thought he was super loved and 100% thought he was staying. Goodbye.