[MB.]

Celebrity Big Brother 2020
Days 14-16

Day 14 + Nominations

Spoiler:

luckily for our Mrs Hinch, I'm pretty sure Chromatica is included in the list of new travel corridors, so she'll be able to go on her hols there very soon. if I remember correctly, she'll need to catch a connecting flight at Babylon Airport?



the worst part is that he's learning the Say So routine, which must be a good six months old at this point. disgusteng!


Later on, the housemates are called to the diary room once again to give their nominations:

AJ – Tony & Fred
Amber – AJ & Fred
Baga – Fred & Demi
Beverley – Demi & Sophie
Bugzy – Beverley & Fred
Demi – Tony & Fred
Fred – Beverley & AJ
Sophie – Fred & Beverley
Tony – Amber & AJ



who goes? and will Marsh's wish to #GetBevOut come true? the simulator decides!

Day 15

Spoiler:

some shockingly blatant pandering to the crucial Liz Jones demographic now that she's up for eviction! I can see right through you, Callard!

Day 16 + Eviction

Spoiler:

casualties lost in the fire include AJ's favourite mirror, Bugzy's fracking rig and Demi Rose Mawby. luckily the production line managed to manufacture a replacement Demi just in time and the show was able to continue filming.


Later that night, the housemates return to the house, where they gather to find out which of AJ, Beverley and Fred will be the fourth person voted out...

...

...

...




Fred!

Fred proves that he's definitely not up-to-date on his TikTok knowledge by doing a full 180, Dua Lipa style, on his way out of the house. a nation of Gen Zers sighs despondently.

[Marsh.]

Not Fred.

[Babayaro.]

AJ's getting a little too big for his boots, I reckon?

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Babayaro.

AJ's getting a little too big for his boots, I reckon?

Not you getting Bugzy and Stormzy mixed up

[Babayaro.]

Originally Posted by MB.

Not you getting Bugzy and Stormzy mixed up

Leave m(e)alone

[Babayaro.]

:/

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Babayaro.

Leave m(e)alone

Not you getting yourself mixed up with comedian Tony Slattery!

[Babayaro.]

Originally Posted by MB.

Not you getting yourself mixed up with comedian Tony Slattery!

Slattery will get you nowhere

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Babayaro.

Slattery will get you nowhere

[MB.]

Celebrity Big Brother 2020
Days 17-20

Day 17

Spoiler:

he didn't even realise there were cameras until the other night.

Day 18 + Nominations

Spoiler:

On Day 18, the housemates nominate for the fifth time. As you might expect, they are all well acquainted with the process at this point, and should have no troubl-


oh Baga.


The results are as follows:

AJ – Beverley & Tony
Amber – Beverley & AJ
Baga – Sophie & AJ
Beverley – Demi & Sophie
Bugzy – Amber & Beverley
Demi – Baga & Beverley
Sophie – Demi & Beverley
Tony – AJ & Demi



who goes? the simulator decides, assuming it can remember their names!

Day 19

Spoiler:

luckily for AJ, today's secret task is for the entire house to ignore Beverley. they pass with flying colours, and as a reward AJ wins a photo of himself.

Day 20 + Eviction

Spoiler:

hey, it's a common mistake to make. I'm more worried that they left out Sophie accidentally wiping down the kitchen worktops with Aperol spritz.


Later that night, the housemates gather to find out which of AJ, Beverley and Demi will become the fifth person voted out of the Celebrity Big Brother house...

...

...

...




Demi!

Amber weeps as Demi leaves, both for the loss of her friend and the loss of countless potential brand sponsorship deals. as she sits down for her interview, Davina remarks that Demi's yellow mini dress smells faintly of Heinz mustard.

[Mitchell]

Amber and Mrs Hinch is coming

[Babayaro.]

Im gonna start calling AJ "Halfwit" LOL!

[Shaun]

Originally Posted by Mitchell

Amber and Mrs Hinch is coming

Amba Chipz outsold

[Mitchell]

Originally Posted by Shaun

Amba Chipz outsold

Lets hope AJ doesn't get to Baga first

[MB.]

Celebrity Big Brother 2020
Days 21-23

Day 21 + Nominations

Spoiler:

when will Tony learn that Slattery gets you nowh- oh wait Marc already did that pun, ignore me.


Later on, the housemates nominate for the sixth time; in a twist to the usual format, they do so face-to-face. The results are as follows:

AJ – Tony & Amber
Amber – Tony & AJ
Baga – Beverley & Tony
Beverley – AJ & Sophie
Bugzy – AJ & Tony
Sophie – Beverley & AJ
Tony – AJ & Amber



who goes? the simulator decides!

Day 22

Spoiler:

the crew forget to switch on the cameras at the start of the day, resulting in no footage being recorded. in place of that night's highlights show, Channel 4 air clips of various celebrities and public figures lip syncing to the Michelle Bass song Must Be the Music for an hour. eleven and a half million viewers tune in and the broadcast is nominated for a television BAFTA.

Day 23 + Eviction

Spoiler:

meanwhile, Amber's agent's phone is ringing off the hook with endorsement offers from garlic press brands.


That night, the housemates gather to find out which of AJ and Tony will be the sixth person voted out of the Celebrity Big Brother house...

...

...

...




AJ!

the MOR3 is defeated.

[Babayaro.]

Turns out Slattery does get you somewhere!

[Mitchell]

Tony wins tbh

[MB.]

Celebrity Big Brother 2020
Days 24-25

Day 24

Spoiler:

no offence but I think I'll stick with my Gothy Thee Stallion collab.



the people demand a Parasite remake starring Victoria Jensen as the housekeeper this instant!!

Day 25 (Finale)
who wins? the simulator decides! (although since the simulator follows the BB1/BB2 format of nominations up until the final four, leaving only three people on finale night, I've conflated the remaining evictions into a six-person final. Just imagine that the eviction percentages below are replaced by increasing large chunks of a vote to win)

Spoiler:

leaving in sixth place...

...

Spoiler:

Sophie!

guess she didn't clean up in the votes (...I'll get my coat).

in fifth place...

...

Spoiler:

Baga!

thereby placing lower than she did on Drag Race UK, a feat that I believe is known in CBB lore as "pulling a Frankie Grande".

fourth place is...

...

Spoiler:

Tony!

in case you were wondering, he was up against the previous two evictees in head-to-head evictions, making him and AJ this year's eviction cockroaches. and who's the only person who could defeat a cockroach? why, a Bug(zy), of course.

the final three:

Spoiler:

the last time we saw a man next to two women like this, it was Doc Antle's vow renewal ceremony.

finishing in third...

...

Spoiler:

Bugzy!

Liz from Corrie has more youth appeal than one of the UK's biggest grime artists confirmedt?

in the words of Ginger Minj, let's get this over with. the winner?

...

Spoiler:

[Marsh.]

Not The Callard winning.

[MB.]

Final eviction order:

Spoiler:

well that was a thing that will probably never happen! voila!

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

Not The Callard winning.

Not you of all people wasting your hard-earned money voting for a Love Island contestant to try and prevent The Callard winning!

[Mitchell]

Absolute icon

Well done on a great series MB, would love another

[Shaun]

well it was quite a realistic CBB in that my favourite two finalists ended up in 5th and 4th, so that's something

[MB.]

Originally Posted by Mitchell

Absolute icon

Well done on a great series MB, would love another

lol thanks I'll get on the phone with Channel 4's director of programming *checks notes* "Ian Katz", who is definitely a man and not three cats stacked in a trench coat, to explore the likelihood of a renewal!

Originally Posted by Shaun

well it was quite a realistic CBB in that my favourite two finalists ended up in 5th and 4th, so that's something

But did any of the top three get a #1 single out of their experience? I think not! (I imagine Tony would be less musically inclined, so instead he'll be bringing out a weekly podcast with Tati Westbrook)

[Babayaro.]

*boo hiss hiss boo*