[LaLaLand]

Easier said than done, but I'd seek help to nip my anxiety/depression in the bud (or attempt to) instead of ignoring it and letting it fester how it did when I was younger to end up so severe I ended up having my first full-on breakdown at 21 years old after my grandfather passed away and basically losing the whole of my 20's to mental health struggles.

I feel like I missed out on everything. Was a recluse for many years (tendencies that even today I still have to snap out of and force myself out of the house), missed out on relationships, milestones in my own life as well as those of my family's and friends (the ones who still bothered about me as the years went on, that is), work opportunities, getting my own place, holidays etc. I did manage to go to my local uni and get a degree but it was such a stressful experience for me. I finished it not to the best of my ability and at the end of it I had yet another "breakdown" just from the pressures of passing/graduating.

I'm almost 34 now and things are somewhat finally starting to look up it seems (I don't want to jinx it) but I still feel like I'm just sort of existing rather than seizing the day. Pretty much going to be a nervous wreck forever now with absolutely zero self-worth or confidence, constantly worrying about everything and massively self-conscious but at least I have a bit of a social life, opportunities coming up and plans. Better than nothing I guess.