[Ray.]

The one that instantly sprung to mind was in about year 5 or 6 where we were all gathered in assembly, sitting cross-legged on the floor as we did, and I can't remember whether it was me chuckling at something that caused it, but I let out a huge fart. It wasn't long and drawn out, and mercifully it wasn't even smelly. But it was loud. It was like the shot heard round the world. And I don't know what possessed me, but I happened to have a fiver on me that day, and in a bizarre attempt to mitigate the embarrassment, I took it out of my pocket and started flashing it about as everyone stared on in both bemusement and disgust. The headteacher even singled me out and directly told me to put it away. It was a minor fiasco.