[Ammi]

…has been named and the winner awarded…


“I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship, but I bottled it.”


Comedian Mark Simmons, who got into comedy more than a decade ago after his friend convinced him to do an open mic night, was chosen as the winner of the annual competition hosted by television channel U&Dave.

In his winning gag, Simmons said: “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship, but I bottled it.”

Each year, the U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe is chosen by 2,000 members of the public from a shortlist drawn up by a judging panel made up of comedy critics.

Simmons’ joke, taken from his PHB’s Free Fringe show at the Liquid Room Annexe, was ranked the best by 40 per cent of those surveyed.

Simmons said of his victory: “I’m really chuffed to win U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe.

“I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers, can’t understand it, I always gave 110 per cent.”

A previous gag told by the comedian was voted the second best joke at the festival in 2022 and he has also placed sixth and ninth in the contest.

The comedian joins other winners Tim Vine, Stewart Francis and Zoe Lyons, who have been recipients of the award, which is now in its 15th year.

[Ammi]

…and some of the contenders…

“I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward... two steps back.” – Alec Snook

“I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.” – Mark Simmons

[Niamh.]

Meh, it's not great

[arista]

Sad if that is the best

[UserSince2005]

scots arent known for their sense of humour if we are being honest.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by UserSince2005

scots arent known for their sense of humour if we are being honest.

He’s English I think.

[Ammi]

…the previous 10 winners…

2023: Lorna Rose Treen became the first female comedian to win the accolade since the inaugural Fringe joke award in 2008 with her dating pun.
"I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah."

2022: A pasta gag from Masai Graham triumphed as the Fringe festival returned in full force after the Covid pandemic.
"I tried to steal spaghetti from the shop, but the female guard saw me and I couldn't get pasta."

2019: Swedish comedian Olaf Falafel got plenty of laughs but also some criticism from a Tourette's charity with his winning joke.
"I keep randomly shouting out 'broccoli' and 'cauliflower' - I think I might have florets."

2018: Liverpool comedian Alan Rowe hit the spot with a one-liner about being sacked by a Jobcentre.
"Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job - knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day."

2017: Ken Cheng, who is also a professional poker player, kept a straight face with his gag about the new pound coin.
"I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change."

2016: Having made the shortlist in the two previous years, Masai Graham finally took the top spot with his organ donor joke.
"My dad suggested I register for a donor card, he is a man after my own heart"

2015: With a Fringe show called Punderbolt, it was no surprise that a pun was Darren Walsh's punchline.
"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free."

2014: Tim Vine became the first comedian to win the award for a second time with his joke about a vacuum cleaner.
"I decided to sell my Hoover... well it was just collecting dust."

2013: Having quit his job selling paintbrushes to become a comedian, Rob Auton's joke was judged a stroke of genius.
"I heard a rumour Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."

2012: Canadian funnyman Stewart Francis took a swipe at the Beckhams with his winning joke.
"You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."

2011: Nick Helm added a touch of Disney magic to the frustrating task of choosing a new password.
"I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

[Ammi]

…I did smile a bit at the cauliflower and broccoli one…

[Niamh.]

These 2 are my favorites

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free."

"I heard a rumour Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."

[Ammi]

…yeah I liked the Hans free one as well…that one and the florets one were my two favourites…

[Gusto Brunt]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Meh, it's not great

It's not remotely funny. It doesn't even qualify as a joke because the 'punchline' is so weak.

This award should be renamed. UNFUNNIEST Joke.

[Crimson Dynamo]

"So I went to Buckingham Palace to cut Prince William's hair. I said to the policeman, 'Can
you let me in to the car park, I'm here to cut Prince William's hair?' The policeman said
'Have you got a permit?' - I said, 'No, just a bit off the back!!!!' "

[Beso]

I'm surprised milton jones has never won it.

https://inews.co.uk/light-relief/jok...t-jokes-116591