[Garfie]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

It sounds a bit melodramatic here but I think it's because most men xould probably kill a woman by strangling her with his bare hands, in a way a woman couldn't the other way round. That's why it feels kind of sinister to me even in a joking around way

That’s a fact, Niamh. I do believe that the majority of women killed in DV situations die as a result of strangulation, and most women in these situations suffer non-fatal strangulation during such relationships, even when it does not end in death.
From memory, that’s why the law was changed a couple of years ago to make non-fatal strangulation an offence in itself, separate to any charges for DV. I think, at the time, a non-fatal strangulation conviction came with a custodial sentence, and I can remember this happened in the first case after the law was changed. I hope this is still the case, but I’m not sure if it remains so due to the lack of prison places.

However, in the same way that these charges and sentences are so important, I think it’s equally important that people are aware of the differences between grabbing, squeezing and placing the hands, and of whether those hands are around, or beside the neck.

[Garfie]

Originally Posted by Cherie

Exactly they were both smiling, I thought Nathan egging BP was far worse as that would have hurt, not sure if you saw it on L and L Garfie

I did, Cherie, and I think you were as shocked and horrified as me when you first read the description of Marcello grabbing Lily by the neck. That really rang massive alarm bells for me, so I was surprised when I then saw the footage.

I’m not saying that I find it comfortable when a man places his hand where Marcello did, or that there is no possibility that this could be indicative of anything worrying. That is always a possibility. However, what we saw here was not what we were led to believe, and I think it’s important that language is used carefully and accurately when describing such situations.

[Garfie]

Originally Posted by Maru

He & Dean are very similar in that way... they're both floating around the hubbub while taking a lot of copious mental notes because the people around them can't help themselves and are literal chatter boxes of tasty informations...

Yes, perfectly put, Maru.

[Beso]

He was hands on with her last night as well. Touching her, looked like he was touching her and imagining what it would be like..

[Garfie]

Originally Posted by Adamw92

His hand literally touched her neck and then he removed it because he realised he’s on camera. It’s actually so tiring having to argue with people about the way he behaves especially considering how often most of you blow what Ali says out of of proportion while defending this literally creep.

Look, Adam, I’ve posted very few comments about Marcello at all, and in those I’ve posted on this particular matter, it’s not been about defending Marcello - it’s about the language you used and what that implied. The fact that you have now changed your description from him ‘grabbing’ her neck to ‘his hand literally touched her neck’ is indicative of the fact that you recognise you chose to paint the wrong picture in order to force a certain narrative.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, and just because you feel other members might blow what Ali says out of proportion, they are sharing their interpretation of her actions which just happens to differ from your interpretation. Different opinions and interpretations are fine, and to be expected. What you’ve done here regarding Marcello, however, is basically changed the facts, and that’s the issue.

Finally, before you decide to lump me in with the ‘most of you‘ that you’ve chosen to criticise regarding Ali in your response to me, I think most members would probably agree that I have, in fact, tried to raise awareness here of Ali’s Autistic traits, how they might affect her and how that might mean she is judged harshly by others. I’ve done that in an attempt to create some understanding and empathy for her. I put thought into my comments, use the knowledge and experience I have, and consider the effect of my words on others before each post. I’m an independent thinker, and won’t be dismissed as just one of some sort of pack.

Enough said,

[Adamw92]

Originally Posted by Garfie

Look, Adam, I’ve posted very few comments about Marcello at all, and in those I’ve posted on this particular matter, it’s not been about defending Marcello - it’s about the language you used and what that implied. The fact that you have now changed your description from him ‘grabbing’ her neck to ‘his hand literally touched her neck’ is indicative of the fact that you recognise you chose to paint the wrong picture in order to force a certain narrative.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, and just because you feel other members might blow what Ali says out of proportion, they are sharing their interpretation of her actions which just happens to differ from your interpretation. Different opinions and interpretations are fine, and to be expected. What you’ve done here regarding Marcello, however, is basically changed the facts, and that’s the issue.

Finally, before you decide to lump me in with the ‘most of you‘ that you’ve chosen to criticise regarding Ali in your response to me, I think most members would probably agree that I have, in fact, tried to raise awareness here of Ali’s Autistic traits, how they might affect her and how that might mean she is judged harshly by others. I’ve done that in an attempt to create some understanding and empathy for her. I put thought into my comments, use the knowledge and experience I have, and consider the effect of my words on others before each post. I’m an independent thinker, and won’t be dismissed as just one of some sort of pack.

Enough said,

What? I haven’t changed my description at all? He did grab her neck. I used “his hand touched her neck” because you tried to paint it as if his hand barely hovered near it when there was literally skin to skin contact of his hand on her neck, I’ve seen the clip multiple times so don’t try and act like I’m trying to force any kind of narrative just because you don’t agree.

It’s not about me “feeling” anything, Ali literally utters one word in an episode and there’s 5 different threads saying she’s racist, a nasty witch, a bully etc. yet there’s crickets for when Marcello talks about Sarah’s genitals, gaslights her into believing she’s the problem in an argument he started. When I said I’m tired of people constantly defending his actions while vilifying other people like Ali that’s just the truth. Ali has not behaved flawlessly and I won’t deny that but you first instinct was to completely deny what’s literally on video, his hand was around her neck even if it was for barely a couple of seconds.

So yes, enough said.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Benjamin

I’d love if marcello just erased all the snacks

He should have done , but my goodness the hell he'd get for it ..... he'd be classed as ' the worst person ever'. Lily would be crying like a baby , They all give her too much leeway... to act as bratty and nasty as she likes.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Benjamin

I think they were trying but Lily just bulked in with her sweets.

She was so obnoxious and gross , she storms in and makes demands like she owns the shopping list. She's in a house full of other housemates, she added a ton of sh1t they don't even need. the fuss she made over Marcello removing some of the items, as they went over the budget.. she's not right in the head. Her diet is literally heart disease and diabetes waiting to happen.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Ammi

… Martha giving false slay, period…

She's trying to hard , and Ali & Lily are not helping.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Adamw92

Don’t necessarily disagree with him about Martha though

same , but i find him insufferable himself .

[arista]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Lily is getting very cocky

Yes she is.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Maru

She probably hopes it's about her

Exactly , you could tell Ali wanted a piece of the gossip pie ... her little "i don't care" was so false . Plus could Ali get any more boring... she was laid in bed for alot of the time , and looked like her usual miserable self.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Ohh Ali, who's the mean girl?

someone needs to hold up a mirror to her face , and say look who the real mean girl is.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Benjamin

And she’s meant to be Sarah ‘s ‘bestie’ in her own words

which is utter cobblers , Sarah finds Martha irritating... you can tell there's a awkward atmosphere. Sarah & BP are closer.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Why do they say they think its a secret mission? If they think that they know they'll fail and won't get a reward

This is what always annoys in in BB , there's always big mouths who want their moment in the spotlight and blurt out 500 times "ohhhh is it a secret mission", a smart person would just play along... untill it's over and then say afterwards"oh i knew it" .

why do they always have to spoil the fun, it was already a rubbish unconvincing secret mission to begin with, but the housemates could have gone along with it.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Martha and Ali in the bin

They really are useless

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Benjamin

That’s how I would feel finally getting coffee

That coffee dance was so cute

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Knew Ali wouldn't say **** all to Hanah

She's scared of Hanah.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Ali looks annoyed with Lily haha

And yet still she says nothing..... Ali is a joke. Marcello & Khaled breath and it upsets Ali.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Garfie

The video isn’t as bad as the wording implies. He doesn’t grab her neck but places his beside it - grabbing implies pressure and force, yet there is none. There were also no signs of anger between them when it happened. I think this has been blown up out of proportion to fit the ongoing narrative about Marcello’s treatment of women.

Yeah it's ridiculous ,no doubt if he gets evicted... he'll be called a' woman beater next'. The exaggeration.. my goodness. I knew it wasn't anything serious, as that would have been an instant removal from the house.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by rusticgal

Well I’m not going to lie but there are times I would like to put my hand round her throat too…

especially in Thursday's episode ... bloody hell !! , she needed the mute button. I wish BB locked her in a room somewhere far away.

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Garfie

Exactly! People need to look at the footage and decide for themselves whether a man has ‘grabbed’ a woman round the neck in this incident. That sort of wording is inflammatory and sensationalising like something typical of a front page headline from the tabloid press!

Without it being the intention, that sort of language about this incident, both trivialises, and is insulting to, all women who have been subject to neck/throat grabbing or non-fatal strangulation by men they know. Suggestions of this kind should never be thrown around so thoughtlessly and lightly.

Exactly my thoughts aswell .

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Adamw92

His hand literally touched her neck and then he removed it because he realised he’s on camera. It’s actually so tiring having to argue with people about the way he behaves especially considering how often most of you blow what Ali says out of of proportion while defending this literally creep.

Yeah he's so dangerous & violent , maybe police will arrest him next . Poor Lily..... the little baby .

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Garfie

That’s a fact, Niamh. I do believe that the majority of women killed in DV situations die as a result of strangulation, and most women in these situations suffer non-fatal strangulation during such relationships, even when it does not end in death.

From memory, that’s why the law was changed a couple of years ago to make non-fatal strangulation an offence in itself, separate to any charges for DV. I think, at the time, a non-fatal strangulation conviction came with a custodial sentence, and I can remember this happened in the first case after the law was changed. I hope this is still the case, but I’m not sure if it remains so due to the lack of prison places.



However, in the same way that these charges and sentences are so important, I think it’s equally important that people are aware of the differences between grabbing, squeezing and placing the hands, and of whether those hands are around, or beside the neck.

Of course and I did acknowledge that he didn't actually grab her neck but he did say oh I can't do that and took his hand away quickly which was what I thought was a little sinister

[GoldHeart]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Of course and I did acknowledge that he didn't actually grab her neck but he dud say oh I can't do that and took his hand away quickly which was what I thought was a little sinister

Sinister is a strong word, not everything has to have a ulterior meaning. I really don't think Marcello is the monster... he's being painted out to be .