[BBXX]

Originally Posted by Beso

Hi.

What age are these gay kids you mentioned?

I don’t know any of them personally, I was talking generally. Why is it of interest?

[Beso]

Originally Posted by BBXX

I don’t know any of them personally, I was talking generally. Why is it of interest?

Just wanted to know if they are old enough to know they are gay.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Quantum Boy

Probably best not to labour the point Zizu but it's not that you were observing/noticing people that's an issue, it's that you thought about them so intently that you formed an entire (fictional!) narrative about them in your head that was largely rooted in them being a gay couple and then relayed it on here, for unknown reasons.

And it's being viewed into the context of the other scathing, disparaging, critical , often borderline aggressive, comments you've made directed at women (mostly young women) in the past. Your past comments make me skeptical about your intent. That's how social interaction works.

From social interaction i would warn the whole forum of a man that works from home spending days on end on a computer claiming to be the saviour of young women’s innocence while claiming other members are perverse

You can’t give one example of how on real life you have stepped in to keep young women safe but I can give many examples

You happy to call out other members as liars well I’m calling you out
I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you.

[BBXX]

Originally Posted by Beso

Just wanted to know if they are old enough to know they are gay.

Well it’s unique to the individual when they form this knowledge about their sexuality, as with heterosexuality.

Speaking from experience I was about 8 when I knew there was SOMETHING about males that I felt differently about compared to females. I didn’t know about sex and sexuality or what gay was so couldn’t obviously understand.

Then at 11 when I went to Secondary school I learned what gay was from other kids, realised that was me and was terrified because the only context I heard it being spoken about was as an insult.

When I went though puberty at 12-13 it was obviously then my thoughts about guys became sexual.

There was still little to no mainstream representation, still negatively charged language surrounding it and so I spent the next 6-7 years hiding it and therefore when I did come out I had a decade of internalised homophobia to unpack.

Now representation is much improved, language is more more positive and I know if that 13 year old me went to a pride event today and saw the positivity and celebration and fun and joy that it shows then I would have felt safe to come out a lot earlier and wouldn’t have had a lot of self hate to deal with later in life.

It’s why representation matters so much, from a young age, so there is basicalevel of understanding of someone else existing alongside you. Kids seeing a film about two princes falling in love isn’t going to make them gay, in the same way watching almost every Disney movie ever about a Prince and Princess didn’t make me straight. But it WILL help a kid understand and reconcile their feelings when they finally do understand.

Thats why I grapple with whether pride should be family friendly or not - it absolutely has its merits of being so (and a lot of the small city ones actually are) but at the same time many gay people have spent many years filtering their authentic self down to fit with what a heterosexual society has deemed to be acceptable for fear of persecution or judgement for their homosexuality, and so it feels wrong to continue to do that during our own event.

[Ammi]

…thank you for sharing some very personal things in regards to your own life, BBXX…your last paragraph is what I’m thinking on atm and I do understand that for a smaller town it’s a community within itself so a Pride event or any celebration event would envelope that whole community….whereas that doesn’t equate so much with larger/city events….should Pride be diluted to be family friendly…?…I don’t know, that would never be for me to say but one of the things maybe to consider is the sponsorship/funding etc it will rely on …is that in itself something that would have any bearing on it leaning more toward family carnival/type thing…

[Beso]

Originally Posted by BBXX

Well it’s unique to the individual when they form this knowledge about their sexuality, as with heterosexuality.

Speaking from experience I was about 8 when I knew there was SOMETHING about males that I felt differently about compared to females. I didn’t know about sex and sexuality or what gay was so couldn’t obviously understand.

Then at 11 when I went to Secondary school I learned what gay was from other kids, realised that was me and was terrified because the only context I heard it being spoken about was as an insult.

When I went though puberty at 12-13 it was obviously then my thoughts about guys became sexual.

There was still little to no mainstream representation, still negatively charged language surrounding it and so I spent the next 6-7 years hiding it and therefore when I did come out I had a decade of internalised homophobia to unpack.

Now representation is much improved, language is more more positive and I know if that 13 year old me went to a pride event today and saw the positivity and celebration and fun and joy that it shows then I would have felt safe to come out a lot earlier and wouldn’t have had a lot of self hate to deal with later in life.

It’s why representation matters so much, from a young age, so there is basicalevel of understanding of someone else existing alongside you. Kids seeing a film about two princes falling in love isn’t going to make them gay, in the same way watching almost every Disney movie ever about a Prince and Princess didn’t make me straight. But it WILL help a kid understand and reconcile their feelings when they finally do understand.

Thats why I grapple with whether pride should be family friendly or not - it absolutely has its merits of being so (and a lot of the small city ones actually are) but at the same time many gay people have spent many years filtering their authentic self down to fit with what a heterosexual society has deemed to be acceptable for fear of persecution or judgement for their homosexuality, and so it feels wrong to continue to do that during our own event.

Thanks. Very interesting read.

But kids at a pride event would mean the parents taking them along, so surely it would.mean the parents think they are gay, and not so much the 8 yr old.

[Quantum Boy]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

From social interaction i would warn the whole forum of a man that works from home spending days on end on a computer claiming to be the saviour of young women’s innocence while claiming other members are perverse

You can’t give one example of how on real life you have stepped in to keep young women safe but I can give many examples

You happy to call out other members as liars well I’m calling you out
I wouldn’t trust you as far as I could throw you.

I'll take all of that as a compliment given the source sheriff; as a general tip, I'm not looking for the trust or approval of fellows like yourself. Ever.

What's the "work from home on a computer" part about, by the way? What's the implication there? Would you like to elaborate? I'll suggest that you don't.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Beso

Thanks. Very interesting read.

But kids at a pride event would mean the parents taking them along, so surely it would.mean the parents think they are gay, and not so much the 8 yr old.

Or like the pop singer Pink who is happily married to a guy but has chosen to bring her kids up as gender neutral ..

I actually think that it may probably throw up loads of problems and pressures as they go through their school years - that could be avoided .

This is Willow ..

[BBXX]

Originally Posted by Beso

Thanks. Very interesting read.

But kids at a pride event would mean the parents taking them along, so surely it would.mean the parents think they are gay, and not so much the 8 yr old.

No not necessarily, lots of straight people attend pride events - many families just go for a day out. Perhaps the child asks to go, perhaps a 13 year old goes with their friends, perhaps with older siblings

However, it is often the case that some parents do have an inkling their child might be gay - these are often based of stereotypes like having an effeminate son or a tomboy lesbian - obviously not to say all effeminate boys are gay but stereotypes do exist for a reason, so often it’s the case they are - and so maybe a parent uses pride as a way to show the child they’re okay with homosexuality without explicitly saying “if you are gay that’s fine”. I know if my parents had a thought I was gay (they didn’t but let’s say they did) and suggested going to pride just for fun, I would definitely remember it as a signal they were fine with LGBT people and it would reinforce them as a “safe space” in my mind.

The first person I told was gay I wasn’t even that close to, I just remembered them telling me years prior a story in which she mentioned her male friend had gotten a boyfriend, and so I marked her down in my head as someone who it would be safe to tell.

I think it’s things like that maybe straight people don’t take into consideration just because they don’t ever have to. Children who come to the conclusion they might be gay often take note of many seemingly fleeting moments to decide who might take it okay and who might not when coming out - comments said in passing about famous gay people, jokes made, etc …. Over time. They probably don’t even ever remember saying it, but I do.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Or like the pop singer Pink who is happily married to a guy but has chosen to bring her kids up as gender neutral ..

I actually think that it may probably throw up loads of problems and pressures as they go through their school years - that could be avoided .

This is Willow ..

Mate why do you care if a girl has short hair? Why are you staring at "lesbian couples" in public and writing fanfiction about them?

[Niamh.]

Pink isn't bringing her daughter up gender neutral

[Glenn.]

Pride is about LGBTQ finally getting to shout "we're here and proud!" after all the grief and fighting just to be themselves. Straight folks haven't really had that same crap, because their way's always been the default, hasn't it?

So, when "Straight Pride" stuff pops up, it just feels like they're either not getting it, or they're having a laugh at our expense and trying to take the shine off what Pride actually means. Simple as that, really.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Quantum Boy

I'll take all of that as a compliment given the source sheriff; as a general tip, I'm not looking for the trust or approval of fellows like yourself. Ever.

What's the "work from home on a computer" part about, by the way? What's the implication there? Would you like to elaborate? I'll suggest that you don't.

You take it anyway you want

[Quantum Boy]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

You take it anyway you want

So you're stepping down from "calling me out" then. Good decision champ.

[thesheriff443]

For me personally and that’s really all you cal do in life is speak for yourself
I treat everyone as I want to be treated unfortunately Unfortunately not everyone shares that outlook

There are good people in every community the same way there are bad people it’s important not to judge everyone as a whole but as individuals

[Beso]

Originally Posted by BBXX

No not necessarily, lots of straight people attend pride events - many families just go for a day out. Perhaps the child asks to go, perhaps a 13 year old goes with their friends, perhaps with older siblings

However, it is often the case that some parents do have an inkling their child might be gay - these are often based of stereotypes like having an effeminate son or a tomboy lesbian - obviously not to say all effeminate boys are gay but stereotypes do exist for a reason, so often it’s the case they are - and so maybe a parent uses pride as a way to show the child they’re okay with homosexuality without explicitly saying “if you are gay that’s fine”. I know if my parents had a thought I was gay (they didn’t but let’s say they did) and suggested going to pride just for fun, I would definitely remember it as a signal they were fine with LGBT people and it would reinforce them as a “safe space” in my mind.

The first person I told was gay I wasn’t even that close to, I just remembered them telling me years prior a story in which she mentioned her male friend had gotten a boyfriend, and so I marked her down in my head as someone who it would be safe to tell.

I think it’s things like that maybe straight people don’t take into consideration just because they don’t ever have to. Children who come to the conclusion they might be gay often take note of many seemingly fleeting moments to decide who might take it okay and who might not when coming out - comments said in passing about famous gay people, jokes made, etc …. Over time. They probably don’t even ever remember saying it, but I do.

"obviously not to say all effeminate boys are gay but stereotypes do exist for a reason, so often it’s the case they are".


Try saying that about terrorism and Muslims..see where that gets you.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Quantum Boy

So you're stepping down from "calling me out" then. Good decision champ.

I’ve called you out
I don’t trust you and don’t believe anything you say.

[BBXX]

Originally Posted by Beso

"obviously not to say all effeminate boys are gay but stereotypes do exist for a reason, so often it’s the case they are".


Try saying that about terrorism and Muslims..see where that gets you.

Most effeminate guys being gay and most gay guys being effeminate are two different statements.

The majority of terrorism acts being carried out by Muslims is a statistical fact. The issue is when people conflate Muslim people with being terrorists.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Oliver_W

Mate why do you care if a girl has short hair??

Short hair ??

She’s all over YouTube singing on stage and doing interviews with her mum ..

She’s not got any girlie traits and wears boys clothes and boots .. why do you think that is , maybe?

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Pink isn't bringing her daughter up gender neutral

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Short hair ??

She’s all over YouTube singing on stage and doing interviews with her mum ..

She’s not got any girlie traits and wears boys clothes and boots .. why do you think that is , maybe?

You have extremely outdated views

[BBXX]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Short hair ??

She’s all over YouTube singing on stage and doing interviews with her mum ..

She’s not got any girlie traits and wears boys clothes and boots .. why do you think that is , maybe?

Probably because she’s not been bound to gender stereotypes since childhood. It’s not a bad thing, particularly for girls who are taught from childhood their role is to look pretty and nurture others. Pink raising her kids without gender stereotypes and labels is giving ultimate freedom of expression for them to be their most authentic selves. It’s healthy.

[Zizu]

Originally Posted by BBXX

Probably because she’s not been bound to gender stereotypes since childhood. It’s not a bad thing, particularly for girls who are taught from childhood their role is to look pretty and nurture others. Pink raising his kids without gender stereotypes and labels is giving ultimate freedom of expression for them to be their most authentic selves. It’s healthy.

Well bullying isn’t healthy !

Maybe she’s lucky in that she’s protected from general society and maybe she has tuition at home… but she would possibly get a tough ride in normal education

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Zizu

As in she doesn't conform to restrictive stereotypes not that she raising her not as a girl or a boy

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Zizu

Short hair ??

She’s all over YouTube singing on stage and doing interviews with her mum ..

She’s not got any girlie traits and wears boys clothes and boots .. why do you think that is , maybe?

The clothes she's wearing in that picture aren't boys clothes btw