[Benjamin]

The first task of round 7 was to find the worst thing to gift at a birthday…

[Benjamin]

Person A

Spoiler:

Worst thing you can gift someone for a birthday is a coupon for a free hug.



Like no one wants that. Especially if you’re the type of person who isn’t much of a hugger, that’s more of a trial than a gift. And surely you could hug someone whenever, you dont need a coupon. It just shows you haven’t spent money on the person, its not the thought that counts, no one really thinks that!

Person B

Spoiler:

From your green friend who is obsessed with their home compost (and dogs, apparently)

Person C

Spoiler:

I chose anus cream for those nasty hemorrhoids you've been complaining about. I hope you don't end up the butt of your guests jokes because of it. That would be very s***ty of them! Last thing you want is a pile on at your birthday party. I should probably stop now before I make an ass of myself

Person D

Spoiler:

She had more dance experience than everyone else on Strictly.

Person E

Spoiler:

I present the worst birthday gift.

Not a pair of socks, that would suggest effort and some people love socks.

This is a single sock.

But it doesn’t stop there. Because this sock also comes with a thoughtfully pre-installed ventilation hole.

So what you have here is not just useless, it’s actually disappointing. You can’t wear it, you can’t pair it, you can't make a glove puppet out of it because who wants to put their hand in an old, worn, dirty sock and you can’t even pretend it was new.

It raises questions like:
Where is the other sock?
Whose sock was this?
Where has it been?
And perhaps most importantly…
Do you hate me?



It's the perfect worst birthday gift.

[Benjamin]

And here is what the Task Master thought of your awful presents…

Spoiler:

5 points - Person E
This is the very worst gift imaginable. And therefore, the best. Who want this? I imagine even Doby The House Elf would be insulted.

4 points - Person A
Genuinely cringey. And cheap. And it’s “redeemable from any cooperating human” so you don’t even have to touch them yourself. Inspired…

3 points - Person C
Imagine… you’re at the party, the Birthday Girl/Boy is excitedly ripping open presents in front of all their guests, then they get to yours. This person will forever be known as ‘the one with piles’. Gross. And brilliant.

2 points - Person B
If the person has a dog I guess there is a chance they might be useful. Well, they’re… what usually goes in them. Definitely one of the worst but in a very tough field this round.

1 point - Person D
Don’t be bringing that woman to my party. The reason this scored low is that she’d be gone by the end of the evening and there might be someone at the party who likes her. It’s not likely I know, but you never know.

[Benjamin]

The second task of round 7 was to decorate the cow…

Person A

Spoiler:

Answers :

Spoiler:

Eyes - Anya Taylor-Joy
Nose - Gerard Depardieu
Mouth - Julia Roberts
Hair - Minnie Driver

Person B

Spoiler:

I sincerely hope that I am right as to who I think the TaskMaster is this time otherwise this decorated cow will be a big fat fail

I am in not way artistic and in no way am I calling the TaskMaster a cow

God I am totally second guessing myself here hno:

Person C

Spoiler:

My very unique art.

Person D

Spoiler:

Person E

Spoiler:

"When the Steaks are High"



He went on a little adventure and I photographed him in a few grassy venues. And yet my front lawn still won out. This was harder than it looked because every once in a while I'd have to go prop him back up or chase him down because of wind gusts.

[Benjamin]

And here is the Task Master’s verdict on your creativity…

Spoiler:

5 points - Person B
This scored high for a simple reason: Livia’s going to have you killed when she finds out you think she’s a cow. Probably send Mossad to pop a cap in your ass... that’ll be the unrefutably greatest reaction to a decorated cow ever.

4 points - Person E
Nicely decorated, and filmed on location. And you had to wrangle it. Great tagline too. I like it.

3 points - Person D
Nice effort up against some stiff competition. Looks like something Jackson Pollock might have done in year 3.

2 points - Person A
That is truly terrifying. Nightmare fuel. Frankenstein Cow. Good effort.

1 point - Person C
WTAF?

[Benjamin]

Now into round 8 tasks.

Part 1 was to find the thing you would most want to put your finger in…

[Benjamin]

Person A

Spoiler:

I chose edible brownie batter because there's just no way you don't use your finger on the bowl after scooping it... cake batter is hit or miss depending on the flavor, but brownie batter is undefeated:

Person B

Spoiler:

I've chosen the melted wax on a just blown out candle. It's warmth hugs your finger and feels smooth and velvety. It easily crumbles away afterwards without leaving your finger feel sticky but like it's just had a bath in liquid silk. Don't forget to blow out the candle first!

Person C

Spoiler:

My Chosen thing that it’s nice to stick your finger is in a nice pair of wooly gloves.

And for the reason why here is a poem.

On a freezing day when the wind’s being rude,
And your fingers have fully abandoned the mood,

They’re stiff little sausages, pale bits of ice,
Basically useless for anything nice.

Then out come the gloves — humble heroes of wool,
Soft, squishy, dependable, cosy and cool.

You slide your fingers in—oh what a delight,
Like ten tiny penguins discovering central heating at night.

They wiggle inside their warm woolly flats,
Each one getting tucked like posh aristocrats.

No frost, no wind, no icy shove,
Just a luxury lounge made entirely of glove.

Now sure, there are other things fingers could meet,
But most of those options are weird or unsweet.

A snowbank is cruel, a puddle’s just gross,
And sticking them in soup would upset the host.

But gloves never judge you, they’re loyal and true,
Ten little bedrooms—one waiting for you.

So Taskmaster, clearly the winner thereof:
The nicest thing to stick your fingers into… is a pair of woolly gloves

Person D

Spoiler:

The nicest thing you could ever put your finger in is …

Not honey. Not cake. Not melted chocolate.

No… the nicest thing to put your finger in is a finger monkey's grasp.

Because instead of just putting your finger into something…you get something that holds your finger back.

It’s warm, it’s soft, it’s tiny, its unbelievably cute… and it looks at you like you’re the most important person in the world.

This isn’t just putting your finger in something - this is emotional connection and an instant smile inducer.

Also… unlike everything else, it might hug you, or bite you, or steal your food but unless you have a heart of stone, it will definitely steal your heart.

Which makes it the only option here that’s not just nice, it’s memorable.

Person E

Spoiler:

Just look at that beauty, who wouldn't want to stick their fingers in that Chocolate goodness? It's dark like my men.

[Benjamin]

And here is the Task Master’s final ranking!

Spoiler:

5 points - Person D.
I love that monkey with my whole heart and want my finger hugged by him. That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. If he was my monkey, I’d never put him down.

4 points - Person C
There’s something nostalgic about woolly gloves. Something that makes me think those gloves would be on a string that ran up one coat sleeve and down the other. They make me think of frosty walks to school. A nice choice.

3 points - Person A
Brownie batter is definitely something I’d like to stick my finger in. I can almost feel the onset of diabetes getting closer just thinking about it. More delicious than when it’s cooked. I like it.

2 points - Person B
Seems a little niche to me, the whole candle wax thing. If you enjoy sticking your finger in ihot wax have you considered having it dripped on your genitals? Ahhh… memories. Finger though… nah.

1 point - Person E
I’m no expert in chocolate fountains but that’s the same batch of chocolate that’s sucked up, drizzled down, then sucked up again. They’re meant for strawberries and stuff, not fingers. If you’re dipping your dirty digit in it, how many other people are doing the same?

[Benjamin]

And last up was This or That. How well do you know the Task Master?

This is what they chose…

Spoiler:

Cherries
Mario
Countryside
Red wine
Football
Dipsy
Baby Spice
Ugly cat shoes
Danny Devito
Horses

[Benjamin]

And here is how you scored…

Spoiler:

5 points - Mock (8/10)
5 - Annie (8)
4 - Jake (6)
4 - Niamh (6)
3 - Maru (5)

[Benjamin]

So all that is left now is to see your final points!!

[Benjamin]

In 5th place is…

Spoiler:

MOCK - 42 points

[Mystic Mock]

I had the most memorable Cow drawing.

[Benjamin]

In 4th places is…

Spoiler:

MARU - 62 points

[Niamh.]

Here now sorry!

[Benjamin]

In 3rd place is…

Spoiler:

Niamh - 64 points

[AnnieK]

I'm here but just about to go on a Teams call but will be back shortly

[Benjamin]

So I can reveal the winner is…

[Benjamin]

Spoiler:

ANNIE

with a whopping 75 points!!!


Finishing as a respectful runner-up is

Jake

With 67 points

[Niamh.]

Yay! Well done Annie

[Niamh.]

Thanks for hosting Ben, that was a lot of fun again

[Mystic Mock]

Well done Annie.

And thanks Benjamin for hosting the game, you and Ammi have definitely kept me going on here with these games over the last week or so.

[Livia]

Well done Annie, and every one.

Dear Taskmaster Contestants.

Am I surprised three of you guessed me? No, not really. In my head I’m all ‘woman of intrigue and mystery’. Only in my head though, I’m well aware of that… No one from East Ham has ever been a person of either intrigue or mystery.

I want to apologise to every one of you for the mean things I said. Even the entries who scored lowest were brilliant, every one of you have made me laugh and in almost every round I could have scored everyone the same or at least all joint first and second. But you know what a tough boss Ben is and he made me judge you all. I didn’t try to work out who was who and it was never obvious to me.

I genuinely like every one of you and felt terrible saying some of the things I said. Sorry you had to drop out Shaun, you were missed. And Parmy, you were missed also, your responses to some of the comments were hilarious and I loved your choice of songs for the TM with the comment, “based on the fact there isn’t a song called ******* you”. Genuinely made me laugh out loud.

Thanks Ben, for running this. I’ve really enjoyed it.

For the record, the rounds I would have liked to have taken part in are, favourite dinner party guest, best thing to stick your finger in and what would you like to sit on. The answer to all three is, Tom Hardy.

[Benjamin]

Well done Annie! After being the runner-up twice in a row you stormed this season! Massively deserved.

Thank you Annie, Niamh, Maru, Mock, Jake, Shaun and Parmy for taking part and providing both Livia and I some truly hilarious, disturbing and brilliant entries.

And of course thank you to the fabulous Task Master Livia. It was a pleasure having you and you were truly fantastic.

[Benjamin]

full break down of scores below:

Spoiler:

Round 1

Task 1

7 - Niamh
6 - Annie
5 - Jake
4 - Mock
3 - Parm
2 - Maru
1 - Shaun


Task 2

7 - Annie
6 - Maru
5 - Niamh
4 - Jake
3 - Shaun
2 - Parm
1 - Mock

Total

13 - Annie
12 - Niamh
9 - Jake
8 - Maru
5 - Mock
5 - Parm
4 - Shaun

Round 2

Task 1

7 - Annie
6 - Maru
5 - Jake
4 - Parmy
3 - Mock
2 - Niamh
1 - Shaun

Task 2

7 - Maru
6 - Parmy
5 - Niamh
4 - Annie
3 - Shaun
2 - Mock
1 - Jake

Total from round 2

13 - Maru
11 - Annie
10 - Parmy
7 - Niamh
6 - Jake
5 - Mock
4 - Shaun


TOTAL OVERALL

24 - Annie
21 - Maru
19 - Niamh
15 - Parmy
15 - Jake
10 - Mock
8 - Shaun


Round 3

Task 1

6 - Jake
5 - Niamh
4 - Mock
3 - Annie
2 - Parmy
1 - Maru

Task 2

4 - Jake
4 - Parmy
4 - Niamh
4 - Mock
3 - Maru
3 -Annie

Total from round 3

10 - Jake
9 - Niamh
8 - Mock
6 - Annie
6 - Parmy
4 - Maru

TOTAL OVERALL

30 - Annie
28 - Niamh
25 - Jake
25 - Maru
21 - Parmy
18 - Mock

Round 4

Task 1

6 - Maru
5 - Niamh
4 - Jake
3 - Parmy
2 - Mock
1 - Annie

Task 2

6 - Jake
5 - Annie
4 - Parmy
3 - Niamh
2 - Mock
1 - Maru

Total from round 4

10 - Jake
8 - Niamh
7 - Parmy
7 - Maru
6 - Annie
4 - Mock

TOTAL OVERALL

36 - Annie
36 - Niamh
35 - Jake
32 - Maru
28 - Parmy
22 - Mock


Round 5

Task 1

5 - Jake
4 - Niamh
3 - Annie
2 - Mock
1 - Maru

Task 2

Part 1

5 points - Maru
4 points - Annie
3 points - Jake
2 points - Niamh
1 point - Mock

Part 2

5 points - Niamh
4 points - Mock
4 points - Maru
4 points - Annie
3 points - Jake

Total from round 5

11 points - Jake
11 points - Niamh
11 points - Niamh
10 points - Maru
7 points - Mock

TOTAL OVERALL

47 - Annie
47 - Niamh
46 - Jake
42 - Maru
29 - Mock

Round 6

Task 1

5 - Annie
4 - Maru
3 - Jake
2 - Niamh
1 - Mock

Task 2

3 - Niamh
3 - Mock
3 - Jake
2 - Annie
2 - Maru

Total from round 6

7 - Annie
6 - Jake
6 - Maru
5 - Niamh
4 - Mock


TOTAL OVERALL

54 - Annie
52 - Niamh
52 - Jake
50 - Maru
33 - Mock

Round 7

Task 1

5 - Annie
4 - Jake
3 - Niamh
2 - Maru
1 - Mock

Task 2

5 - Annie
4 - Maru
3 - Jake
2 - Niamh
1 - Mock

Total from round 7

10 - Annie
7 - Jake
6 - Maru
5 - Niamh
2 - Mock

TOTAL OVERALL

64 - Annie
59 - Jake
57 - Niamh
56 - Maru
35 - Mock


Round 8

Task 1

5 - Annie
4 - Jake
3 - Maru
2 - Niamh
1 - Mock

Task 2

5 - Mock
5 - Annie
4 - Jake
4 - Niamh
3 - Maru

Task 3

1 - Niamh (Livia)
1 - Annie (Livia)
1 - Mock (Livia)
0 - Jake (Ray)
0 - Maru (Cherie)

Total from round 8

11 - Annie
8 - Jake
7 - Niamh
7 - Mock
6 - Maru


TOTAL OVERALL

75 - Annie
67 - Jake
64 - Niamh
62 - Maru
42 - Mock