[Niall]

Originally Posted by Zee

A blood curdling scream is heard from the audience, and everyone turns in the direction of where it came from - Niall is standing holding a massive poster of ukturtle's face with the caption "BE THE TURTLE TO MY AWKWARD", crying hysterically at Zee hitting on ukturtle and sinks to his knees.

Actual lmfao.

[Iceman]

greg stop having a life and finish this

[Vicky.]

OMFG I cant believe I missed all this

[Smithy]

Originally Posted by Iceman

greg stop having a life and finish this

he's not even having a life, he's become a pyromaniac

[Niamh.]

I think karl or Claudia would win

[Iceman]

Originally Posted by Smithy

he's not even having a life, he's become a pyromaniac

I hear he just hates women....he blamed 9/11 on women...

[Z]

rofl I had an exam this morning, I'll start writing the rest just now

[Z]

Final Night Part 3

Shaun and Ninastar were salsa dancing to Rosemary Clooney's rendition of Sway when Zee's voice crackled through the living room. The pair of them stood frozen, still holding hands, while Stu sat nervously biting his nails on the sofa.

Zee: Big Brother house this is Zee, housemates you are live on Channel 5 television please do not swear.
The three housemates stared into space, each afraid of the implications of this result.
Zee: Ninastar. Shaun. Stu. I can now reveal that the housemate finishing in 3rd place is...
Ninastar: You both deserve to win over me, you've been in here from day 1.
Stu: Yeah but we acted like dicks at times, you've been brilliant since you first got here.
Shaun: Yeah but you're also female so I wouldn't rate you chances too highly.
The three laughed; Shaun and Ninastar finally separating but both remained standing, looking up at the ceiling in fear.
Zee: Stu!
Stu smiled brightly, and stood up. He hugged Ninastar and Shaun and bid them farewell, telling them they both deserved to win and made his way up the stairs. The doors opened and he was evicted to loud cheers, taking him by surprise.

Zee: Stu, you had the touch of death for the first month - one of the people you nominated got evicted in the first four weeks, each time. Did you notice that?
Stu: Well, yeah, and I guess that made me think I was on point with how the public were feeling, but I don't think it gave me any particular advantage.
Zee: You didn't like arista, why was that?
Stu: Are you serious? The guy dressed up in ridiculous outfits just to protect an online persona; he's seriously delusional and his views are warped.
Zee: You were notorious for your "are my" catchphrase; something that the other housemates occasionally berated you for. Do you do it on purpose?!
Stu: A lady never tells.
Zee: You were quite vocal during the Stacey/Kerry argument, do you regret that decision? You were arguably the favourite with the bookies before that argument transpired.
Stu: Was I? I never felt like I was going to win, I'm surprised I didn't get nominated again after the first week.
Zee: You only received 3% of the public vote against bobnot. How does that make you feel?
Stu: Jesus, that's impressive. Go me! Uh, makes me feel good I guess, I'm surprised I made it this far, I thought the public would have a marmite opinion of me.
Zee: Well, thank you for your time Stu, but we need to go back to the house shortly! Don't go away, we'll be revealing your winner after the break!

-ad break #3-

[Iceman]

I had 50 blips on Stu to win

[Benjamin]

Good final 2, although suspects Shauns bullying will be his undoing for winning this.

[Z]

Final Night Part 4

Shaun and Ninastar sat facing each other and were playing 20 questions, when Zee's voice filtered through the house once more. They both sat bolt upright and started grinning, both happy to have reached the final two.

Zee: Housemates, there are only two of you left. I am now going to announce the winner of this year's Big Brother. The housemate who has finished as the runner up must then leave the house, after which the winner will be evicted. Are you ready for the result?

Shaun and Ninastar shouted "We're ready!" and Ninastar moved round to sit next to Shaun.

Zee: The winner of this year's Big Brother, is...

Shaun hugged Ninastar and they were both shaking their legs nervously, Caitlin let out a small scream of excitement.

Zee: Shaun!

Shaun's face dropped, and he began to excitedly jump around the living room in delight; Caitlin joined him in his reverie and the pair shrieked in excitement.

Zee: Ninastar, say goodbye to Shaun and make your way out of the house now!

Caitlin and Shaun hugged for a while, and she made her way up the stairs. She was evicted to unanimous cheers, causing her to burst into tears.

Zee: Was it difficult to enter the house after a month?
Ninastar: Umgz idk, I liked it though!!
Zee: Is it true you were born Ninostar and didn't know Nino was the male form?
Ninastar: YES but I found out it was Nina after a while!
Zee: You nominated arista every week until he was evicted, why was that?
Ninastar: He was weird, I dun like weird
Zee: What about when he was wearing the fox outfit? Surely you liked him a little bit then?
Ninastar: Well yeah but then he dressed up as Patrick
Zee: How do you think you would have gotten on if Patrick had still been in the house when you entered?
Ninastar: It would have been awful, we don't get on.
Zee: Were you gutted when Smithy was evicted just moments before you entered the house?
Ninastar: that was so not stunning! I was really looking forward to being in the house with Smithy, I can't believe Novo survived against him.
Zee: Give it up for your runner up, Ninastar! Now it's time for me to speak to Shaun for one last time before he's evicted. Shall we?


Zee: Big Brother house this is Zee, you are live on Channel Five television, please do not swear!
Shaun: Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod
Zee: Shaun, you've won Big Brother! Say your goodbyes to the house, I'm coming to get you!
Shaun: Goodbye, house. I preferred you as The Shack. BIG LOL! Do I turn the lights off? I'll turn them off anyway. -he does so-

Shaun scaled the stairs towards the exit and braced himself for the fireworks, the crowd and the interview. The doors opened and he received loud cheers, but audible boos could be heard. He had been expecting those, but couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed that people were booing his victory. He climbed down the stairs and took his seat to be interviewed.

Zee: Shaun, you're the winner!
Shaun: I KNOW!
Zee: Were you expecting it?
Shaun: To be honest, I thought my chances were pretty good, but you can never assume anything.
Some sections of the crowd booed at this.
Zee: You were a marmite character in the house, many people loved you for saying what you felt, how you felt it and many despised it, saying it was rude. What do you think?
Shaun: I don't see the point in pretending to not think something to save face, if people don't like me then that's their prerogative, I have plenty of people that do like me for who I am, so I'm not bothered by the people who don't.
Zee: For every criticism you received in the media, you received double the amount of compliments. How was it, having to spend a week with Stacey in the bedsit? Do you feel you reached a mutual respect?
Shaun: NO LOL. It was terrible, to be honest, there was no way we were ever going to warm to each other no matter how long we had to spend in there; so instead of trying to get along I just tried to wind her up as best as possible.
Zee: You didn't get to see Gary in the week leading up to his eviction, was that difficult to take?
Shaun: Yes and no. When I got on with Gary, I got on with him well, but we annoyed each other from time to time and there were other people in there I talked to so it wasn't all bad.
Zee: Ah yes, other people... your alliance with Stu and Jessica in later weeks became the main talking point. You were perceived by a lot of people to be bullying Stacey. Do you feel that was the case?
Shaun: Not really, I think she's an awful human being and felt that she needed to be told this until the point was driven home. I still don't think it has been, she got evicted too soon for that to really happen.
Zee: What's next for Shaun then?
Shaun: SPENDING THE CASH PRIZE! YES!

-fireworks go off and Arcade Fire's Wake Up is blared over the speakers, as the credits start to roll-

Zee: Thank you for watching and we'll see you next summer/next time somebody's in dire need of a TiBB BB story! Check out my arse, it's GREAT! Look at it! Bye!!



Voting Percentages from Week 10/The Final
Shaun 21.35%// 25.62%// 29.76%// 37.77%// 53.59%
Ninastar 20.91%//23.72%// 26.88%// 33.98%// 46.41%
Stu 16.83%// 18.61%// 23.07%// 28.25%
Kerry 13.82%// 16.86%// 20.29%
ukturtle 18.68%// 15.19%
Jessica 8.41%

[arista]

"Stu: Are you serious? The guy dressed up in ridiculous outfits just to protect an online persona; he's seriously delusional and his views are warped."



Spiffing

[Smithy]

Well done Shaun (wait I just congratulated him on winning a fictional story )

Caitlin doesn't say stunnin greg

[Z]

Originally Posted by Smithy

Well done Shaun (wait I just congratulated him on winning a fictional story )

Caitlin doesn't say stunnin greg

The interview overwhelmed her, she was acting very strange, such a pity.

[Shaun]

hot.

[Niall]

Awesome Greg.