Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrluvaluva
Yeah. Adhere broken glass to the trunk and bottom branches.
I think the only thing to do is to get them chopped down, or remove all the fruit, which you will have to do every year. Taking a chainsaw to them is the only permanent solution as far as I can see. Explain to the council it's a health and safety issue and they will be round like a shot. 
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All kidding aside: if the council won't remove them for all the reasons you have stated: is there someone you know who could 'damage' them to the point that they are a H&S issue? Discretly if you get my drift.....