[Angus]

Originally Posted by *Kate*

Dear God
Novo.... Where exactly have I said that Conor or Arron best up women. I haven't.

I just asked for you to have a little think and not make a massive joke and mockery of the situation which reminds someone like myself of issues and is a sensitive topic. Plus I asked you politely and you came back with a silly comment about how much you admire them and they should be role models.

It's clear you know nothing about DV. Domestic violence doesn't have to be physical.

It starts out very minor, controlling behaviour, putdowns, slowly robbing you of your confidence. The aim is for them to get you completely dependent on them. Once they get you to that stage, it escalates. I will be happy to discuss the subject with you as you and I gave never got on and I can befriend anyone normally, so I don't think its me.

Absolutely right! I spent 10 years with a guy whose behaviour escalated out of control to the point I woke up one night to find a knife to my throat and only by the grace of god am I still here. That was my tipping point and I left the same day with my kids when he was out of the house. He went from a charming guy to a monster as soon as his ring was on my finger, and it escalated from snide, nasty, derogatory comments and put downs to physical violence. We all walked on eggshells for fear of angering him. His silent rages were terrifying. He would not allow me to see my friends and family without threatening to beat them up, and in those days domestic violence was not taken seriously so I was isolated and friendless. That's what bullies do - isolate to intimidate. It took me years to rebuild my confidence and self esteem, and my kids needed all my love and attention so I remained single for a long time for fear of inflicting another aggressive bully on them.

Bullies and wife beaters always blame their partners "she provoked me", "she pushed my buttons" blah blah, it's called deflecting the blame for their own vile behaviour and total lack of self awareness and self control. They are not men, just cowardly, pathetic excuses for men.