[Brother Leon]

Make it Sunday

[Shaun]

Spoiler:

KAMMY'S TRANSFER ROUND-UP

With a new TiBB Pub Quiz season on the way the rumour mill has yet again gone into overdrive with new signings and shock departures afoot. The change of management in the League earlier this month rocked the competition and has seen former League 2 JeriTroll Novo Nacho take the competition into his own hands, following the SHOCK resignation of Shaun \Bate-Phillips.

\Bate-Phillips rejoins his former club TBSC, who've undergone a transformation of their own - the club rebranded themselves as 50 Shades of Hai following a disappointing two performances since their debut win. Club favourites Lily., Dezzy and Zee remain, but the untimely departure of LemonJam (broken ankle) saw the Jerseyman out of the running. Former club-mate Matt has been called up for duty and was spotted in early training sessions on Monday.

Reigning champions Ghetto University have made a couple of big splashes in the transfer market and replaced the outgoing Samuel. with whizzkid Munchkins, but full back Brother Leon's place in the team has been called into question recently with some plaudits labeling the Senegalese powerhouse "injury prone" and "as useful as a jelly dildo". His team-mates have been less than supportive on Twitter, managing to get the hashtag #poncedeleon trending in the United Kingdom and Paraguay.

One team unlikely to fork out this time around are the Americanos, who stick with their original line-up despite never having won the title. As last season's runners-up, they'll be looking to improve on their empty trophy cabinet or face taxing questions from fans MichaelSpears and Firewire. Camp tensions have been fuelled too with the private rendez-vous of Ninastar and Smithy; goalkeeper Gypsy Goth reportedly threw her Blackberry out of her porsche when she found out.

Fellow old-timers Callidus and MTV's Jusy and the Happy Turtles look set to return to the league, too, but reports of Callidus' captain James Admin being tempted with a large salary from *Kate*'s yet-unnamed team are dominating the blogosphere. Last season's deserter Stu has been formally dropped from the team in favour of former Jeritroll Nathan. In the MTV camp the team are slow to formalise their entry, amongst reports that Josy and Lee have been fighting over the affections of Mario Balotelli. Their squabble has made headline news in Heat magazine, and the team were rumoured to appear on a reality TV series commissioned by ITV2 named Celebrity Jusy, but MTVN's contract obligations meant he was tied to US networks.

The real talk of the town this year though is the formation of surprise teams - Claymores was spotted leaving the Serious Debates forum in a blacked-out BMW and with a furrowed brow, although one reporter was quick to point out he had a bottle of Old Speckled Hen in tow. A couple of other quality signings are yet to be made with the independent Iceman and Apple202 yet to put pen to paper. Speculation over a possible allstars team consisting of Conzors, hannah., Billy, CaraRawr and Twilight were put on hold however due to clashing makeover schedules.

BREAKING UPDATE: MTV's Jusy and the Happy Turtles have just confirmed their participation, with the expected lineup.

KAMMY'S TRANSFER ROUND-UP

Since my last column activity in the Chat and Games section has exploded; there've been more on and off players than the Chelsea squad in a Stringfellows bar. Here's my take on the last-gasp goings on before the transfer window closed.

Following the confirmation of MTV's Jusy and the Happy Turtles' participation this year, the club's board announced a budget upwards of £39m to spend in the transfer market, leading to a host of rumours that Lee. would be dropped in favour of promising young star chuff me dizzy. However, chuff's agent, a notorious stickler, bombarded the board with outrageous demands (including a £200k/w salary with bonuses) and fans of the team reacted angrily. Chuff has since departed for the Digital Spy leagues, and MTVN's club retain their classic lineup.

One late confirmed team was the formation of a three-man Santibronze. The team, who play in magenta and gold, were formed by Russian oligarch Scott Cokski, and has reeled in two rather unknown signings Nicole Burks and mrlecturer. The team's wealthy founder were believed to be interested in signing the retired Sticks, but scheduling conflicts marred the opportunity.

Santibronze aren't the only 3-man team, however, as the final team to confirm their participation were the as-yet-unnamed trio of Braden, Sarah. and kazanne. A total mix of personalities, there's a lot of buzz about their potential performance; Sarah's dominance in the French Arcade league last year makes her a force to be reckoned with.

Team names have caused a little aggravation in many camps up and down the country with *Kate*'s team of sociopathic alcoholics clumsily agreeing upon the name 'Cinque Perdentes'. A lawsuit from a Spanish club of the same name is imminent, although when asked her opinion, club press officer kizzy responded, "idk tbh i've had a lot of gin ". The final new entry came at a late hour too - Karl, Jayson, Iceman and Black Dagger, a cluster of disillusioned old players, announced their participation under the banner 'Ric Flair(lyGoodAtPubQuizzes)'. The news was greeted with much vitriol, with the Daily Star dubbing the foursome "the worst sporting institution since Havant & Waterlooville F.C."

The competition begins in less than 24 hours and the tension between clubs has never been more acerbic. UKTurtle and Jords traded barbed comments on Twitter on Friday afternoon, with the latter calling Turtle a "down-under has-been with fat legs". The comment was retweeted by Iceman, leading to a power-alliance between the two ugly-named teams. In other gossip, Ghetto University outcast Brother Leon was spotted in a Waitrose in Manchester throwing baguettes at staff after being refused free products. The incident prompted an outburst of ridicule from competitors, with Americano Nina Star telling Sky Sports News, "he's terribly unprofessional and we can't wait to witness that in his performance tomorrow". Ghetto University were unavailable for comment.

[Ninastar]

lmfao

[Iceman]

haha great read!

[Novo]

Originally Posted by Brother Leon

Make it Sunday

Just be quiet please

[Lee.]

[Brother Leon]

Oh Ninastar taking it to the media,huh?


I think Kammy needs to enlighten us with his predictions over the weekend

[Black Dagger]

Kammy makes my life <3.

[Locke.]

Need to make it 7.30 instead of 7.05

[Novo]

I've got to be up at 7 later on and i still have over half the GIP round to complete and no the time is remaining at 7.05

[Black Dagger]

Ric Flair(ly) have no issues with the timing and feel you are doing a great job.

(Do we earn 5 points from the start?)

[Kazanne]

Someone help!!! Do we have a team to go?or are we on the scrapheap

[Shaun]

what's round 1? I wasn't reading whilst writing the kammybit and I sure as hell am not going back a page

[Lee.]

The GIP round I think Shaun

[Brother Leon]

Ghetto University Rocked By Brother Leon's Absence For "Crunch Time"

Ghetto University's hopes of winning the 4th annual pub quiz have been dashed after it was revealed star man Brother Leon will not be available for the first date of battle Tomorrow night. When asked on the reason for this the 19 Year old was open with us as he always is.
"I gotta big night with Rihanna, you know. I was told it kicks off on Sunday so I made plans. Sorry, but I gotta do what I gotta do"

Quiz organiser & Manager Novo is said to be distraught and utterly devasted at the news.
"It's upsetting,it really is. I put so much effort into making it as great as possible. I put so much work into it and then as soon as we are close to crunch time,I find out the main attraction won't be performing. It's not only bad news for Ghetto University but bad news for all of us as the ratings will more than half now."

Once Brother Leon heard what was said by Novo, he sent him a heartwarming message on twitter to clear the air.

@LeonTheKingOfficial
Jus saw wot @TheRealJobvo said 2 SSN. Dw bruv, I always luv u. Send u pix 2moz xoxo #FlyGangWoopWoop!

[Jake.]

my team will rile all

[GypsyGoth]

Originally Posted by kazanne

Someone help!!! Do we have a team to go?or are we on the scrapheap

You're in Team SBK, with Sarah & Braden. When an admin makes the team forums, it'll be called something like Team SBK and only you guys will be able to see it.

[Black Dagger]

@LeonTheKing sounds like a right homo.

[Brother Leon]

@LeonThe King

Jus blocked sum ugly muther****er for hatin enit! #FlyGangWoopWoop!

[Niamh.]

What's the first round and it's 2 days per round yeah?

[InOne]

I hope so cos I'm out tonight

[Kate!]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

What's the first round and it's 2 days per round yeah?

GIP round (still don't know what that is, but will be fun finding out)

Looking forward to this, seems like it'll be really good. Great team turnout too

[InOne]

Lots of hot women

[Marc]

I feel bad about competing against Niamh, she's too lovely you see

[Braden]

Team SBK