[Shaun]

We were dating for a while. The first few months were bliss - we'd go out to dinner every weekend, and follow that with a long walk in the park. We showered each other with gifts and flowers whenever we could find the time, and when we made love, sparks flew. But then she got this demanding job as a librarian, and the gifts stopped. At first I was happy for her, but when her hours became more and more taxing on her, she became aggressive, unsettled even. We stopped snuggling up to watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. We stopped texting each other hearts and smiley faces ten times a day. We stopped eating together for breakfast. I was slowly but surely falling apart, and the first time I tried to address our distance with her, she struck out - hit me square in the jaw with a kettle. I was distraught, but understood she was under a lot of pressure, so I didn't say anything. When I went out for my birthday with Zee and MarkWaldorf they noticed bruises on my arms and questioned me over margaritas, but I lied and said I'd been rock climbing. I don't even like rock climbing! Claudia herself was devastated that she could have done that to me, but this only made her angrier. One night, she tore the shower head off the wall and started clubbing me with it because I'd burned her ravioli. Another night, I ended up in A&E because she'd headbutted me over the results of TiBB Does the Apprentice. After a few months, my friend Jayson and his boyfriend Karl came around and told me they were taking me shopping; they instead locked me in the backseat of their car and took me away to Amsterdam. They told me I'd be safe there, and that I could make a new life for myself, but I was afraid. I needed to be with her... I wasn't the same. So one night when Jayson had had too much absinthe, I snuck out and boarded a ferry back to the UK - and after a three hour train ride I arrived back home only to find her burning my possessions. I protested, naturally, but she lashed out and threw my prized candlestick at my face. I remember looking down at the drops of blood on my hands and thinking "enough". I left immediately and never looked back.