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Vanessa · 05-02-2013, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I'm not saying it makes someone a bad parent, I'm saying that I don't think It's the right way to discipline a child. I just can't see how hitting someone is a good way to teach them right from wrong.

And to those saying well my parents hit me and I'm fine, did they hit you when you were a teenager?

I agree with you, Niamh. I think it's always wrong. I suppose the occasional slap can do harm, but it's better to talk to the kids instead of hitting them.

arista · 05-02-2013, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi

..so she reacted back with violence..what lesson does that teach..?...

Do Not Cross The Line.

Feel The Force

Sam:) · 05-02-2013, 04:05 PM

How is hitting a child right? Your supposed to teach your children how to resolve problems etc. Hitting just shows them that you can resolve a problem with hitting... If I hit my girlfriend because she slammed a door on me, would I get in trouble?? Yes. Just use words etc.

Me. I Am Salman · 05-02-2013, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LemonJam

I really, really hate these threads. My mum really is the best I could ever ask for and every punishment she's given me has been warranted. I'm not going to have anyone tell me otherwise because not only are they saying she's a bad parent but it's implying I'm poorly raised, which as conceited as it may sound I'm really, really not. :\

Yes it can get taken too far, but from the people I know most people who were smacked/slapped every now and then don't hold a grudge against their parents and in hindsight they can see why they did it.

[4]

Me. I Am Salman · 05-02-2013, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marc

[2]

Ammi · 05-02-2013, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arista

Do Not Cross The Line.

Feel The Force

..there isn't really 'a line' between parent and child, there's just communication and respect and for me what she did, didn't indicate either...I know that slamming a door at your parent isn't respectful either but she's only 14yrs and it's up to her mum to show her a better way to deal with her emotions and in my opinion she didn't...she just responded like for like...

armand.kay · 05-02-2013, 06:30 PM

Had I slammed that door in my mums face she would of karate kicked the door open and took me out faster than I could say child abuse

armand.kay · 05-02-2013, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Livia

By the time I got to 14 I had more respect for my parents than ever to have slammed the door in their face.

This my mum stopped hitting me when I was like 8 but I still would never think of slamming a door in her face. I mean I've argues with her but I've never disrespected her.

arista · 05-02-2013, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi

..there isn't really 'a line' between parent and child, there's just communication and respect and for me what she did, didn't indicate either...I know that slamming a door at your parent isn't respectful either but she's only 14yrs and it's up to her mum to show her a better way to deal with her emotions and in my opinion she didn't...she just responded like for like...

There is a Line.

Only 14?

She is old enough to Know Better
Fact

Ammi · 05-02-2013, 08:03 PM

..yeah, I agree she should show more respect to her mum to do that..but then I have to wonder where that rspect is learned...or earned...

Kizzy · 05-02-2013, 08:40 PM

I think this is laughable.... how we overanalyse simple parent/child relationships nowadays.

Petershaw1984 · 05-02-2013, 09:04 PM

hmmm tough one this.

coming from a childhood where my father eould regularly beat my mother and give me a good smack now and again made me stay on the right path. i would never lift a fonger to my kids ever ever ever.

but i think a teenager at the age of 14 knows the differemce between right and wrong so knows that by slamming a door or answering back is punishable. slapping her on the bum. not that bad. full on beating? never.

arista · 06-02-2013, 06:24 AM

She was just on Daybreak ITV1HD

The happy 14 year old
seems fine with the line she must not cross

After 3 warnings
they get a Smack,
thats fair.

Ammi · 06-02-2013, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arista

She was just on Daybreak ITV1HD

The happy 14 year old
seems fine with the line she must not cross

After 3 warnings
they get a Smack,
thats fair.

..well, that's debatable..and just because she 'seems' fine with it doesn't necessarily mean the situation was handled right by her mother...of course, it also doesn't mean it was wrong either...for me personally, I feel that, it may not do any permanent 'damage' but then the next generation may do the same and the next etc...and there are other ways which aren't always tried first because people react to a situation, 'in the heat of the moment' kind of thing...

..anyway, I'm going to opt out of this thread now because I don't want to offend anyone that I'm saying they have bad parents or anything..I don't think that at all...I'm really just commenting on this particular situation and what happened...but yeah, in general, I don't support the 'smacking option'...but I know it's usually not meant with any sort of intent and is used occasionally by very loving parents.....for me, it's more to do with what I do as a job and feeling there are other ways to communicate how unacceptable someone's behaviour is, but I know that's 'easier said than done' when situations arise like this....

SharkAttack · 06-02-2013, 07:29 AM

Still a decent thread because it sort of brings together some past issues the older members of this club have perhaps gone through and current ones that our younger generations represent, similar or not. I was raised proudly as a Livia and now parent like an Ammi. Took a few wooden spoons to the backside at a young age, perhaps 7 or 8 (twice or thrice) and one lethal smack straight across the face at 14ish when I said something to my mother at the dinner table about the food she had painstakingly prepared, that was so well-deserved that I would have smacked myself if I had said it now. It was the only time she had lain a bare hand upon me, and the last. She cried for about a week afterwards. In fact, it was me giving apologies afterwards.

Nowadays, it's me talking the kids down from the ceiling, at times, and there is *so* much talking. My God, we talk things through like marriage counselors attempting to repair failing unions. I do sometimes think a light smack in the backside would work wonders, but I don't do that.

Also, the smack across the legs after the near-accident of losing your child to traffic is entirely different. It's like "I DONT *********G want to lose you like this, here or ever, don't ever go out like that again!!" There's more love/fear/adrenaline in that than anything. I *want* that kind of a parent.

Ammi · 06-02-2013, 08:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SharkAttack

Still a decent thread because it sort of brings together some past issues the older members of this club have perhaps gone through and current ones that our younger generations represent, similar or not. I was raised proudly as a Livia and now parent like an Ammi. Took a few wooden spoons to the backside at a young age, perhaps 7 or 8 (twice or thrice) and one lethal smack straight across the face at 14ish when I said something to my mother at the dinner table about the food she had painstakingly prepared, that was so well-deserved that I would have smacked myself if I had said it now. It was the only time she had lain a bare hand upon me, and the last. She cried for about a week afterwards. In fact, it was me giving apologies afterwards.

Nowadays, it's me talking the kids down from the ceiling, at times, and there is *so* much talking. My God, we talk things through like marriage counselors attempting to repair failing unions. I do sometimes think a light smack in the backside would work wonders, but I don't do that.

Also, the smack across the legs after the near-accident of losing your child to traffic is entirely different. It's like "I DONT *********G want to lose you like this, here or ever, don't ever go out like that again!!" There's more love/fear/adrenaline in that than anything. I *want* that kind of a parent.

..great post SA...

....I'm sure you're both a son and a father to be proud of....

arista · 06-02-2013, 08:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ammi

..great post SA...

....I'm sure you're both a son and a father to be proud of....

Look its the Poster that said she is leaving the thread
and has returned

"anyway, I'm going to opt out of this
thread now because I don't want to offend "