[bbfan1991]

What a horrible, bigoted thing to say.

As long as gay couples can provide a safe loving environment where these children can flourish, then it does not matter about the sexuality of the couple looking after them.

[Ammi]

..unfortunately I still don't think it's easy for gay couples to adopt, I know a couple who recently went through the whole process, only to be told that they should wait longer, when there didn't seem any reason for that decision...very heartbreaking for them, I have no idea whether the same would have been said to a heterosexual couple....

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..unfortunately I still don't think it's easy for gay couples to adopt, I know a couple who recently went through the whole process, only to be told that they should wait longer, when there didn't seem any reason for that decision...very heartbreaking for them, I have no idea whether the same would have been said to a heterosexual couple....

The adoption process is long and arduous...I had looked into it at great depth during my time of having problems and had initial meetings...they look into every single aspect of your life, your upbringing, talk to friends and family, do loads of assessments and then a board of people get to decide your fate....it's such a painful and heartbreaking journey that they more or less put you off before you start....I was told to wait (although before the process started properly) because it was too soon after a failed treatment. There were other couples who were told to lose weight before they were considered but there was a gay couple who did start the process....I don't know if they were approved or not but I think most couples go through the wringer in the process....I was just lucky that I have since had my miracle (although it the whole cycle did cost me my relationship)...

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by anniek76

The adoption process is long and arduous...I had looked into it at great depth during my time of having problems and had initial meetings...they look into every single aspect of your life, your upbringing, talk to friends and family, do loads of assessments and then a board of people get to decide your fate....it's such a painful and heartbreaking journey that they more or less put you off before you start....I was told to wait (although before the process started properly) because it was too soon after a failed treatment. There were other couples who were told to lose weight before they were considered but there was a gay couple who did start the process....I don't know if they were approved or not but I think most couples go through the wringer in the process....I was just lucky that I have since had my miracle (although it the whole cycle did cost me my relationship)...

..yeah, I'm sure it's not easy for any couple Annie..it's a very long and intrusive process...the gay couple I knew went rhrough the whole thing, it took a very long time and was obviously a huge emotional journey for them as well...they have everything in place, home, careers etc..obviously, they thought it would all lead to adopting their family..(they don't want a baby but two slightly older children)...they were told that it would be best to have lived in their home for around two years or so first,....but no other explanation was given...hmmm, that may have been the same for anyone, I know...it just seems like a flimsy reason....

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..yeah, I'm sure it's not easy for any couple Annie..it's a very long and intrusive process...the gay couple I knew went rhrough the whole thing, it took a very long time and was obviously a huge emotional journey for them as well...they have everything in place, home, careers etc..obviously, they thought it would all lead to adopting their family..(they don't want a baby but two slightly older children)...they were told that it would be best to have lived in their home for around two years or so first,....but no other explanation was given...hmmm, that may have been the same for anyone, I know...it just seems like a flimsy reason....

Yeah, that does seem flimsy TBH Ammi....must have been devastating....

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by anniek76

Yeah, that does seem flimsy TBH Ammi....must have been devastating....

..yeah, it's very upsetting for them but they'll wait..there isn't anything else they can do...maybe they're children just aren't there for them yet but when they are, they won't have better parents....

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..yeah, it's very upsetting for them but they'll wait..there isn't anything else they can do...maybe they're children just aren't there for them yet but when they are, they won't have better parents....

I found that the hardest part of my "journey" knowing I would love a child unconditionally and then hearing atrocities on the news etc of people hurting and neglecting children....you're right, their children will come hopefully and when they do they will cherish them even more....it's such a shame as they wanted older children and adopters are in short demand for older and sibling groups....I hope it works out for them

[Annie]

Having two gay dads would be totally fabulous... especially if you ended up being able to sing like Rachel Berry

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by anniek76

I found that the hardest part of my "journey" knowing I would love a child unconditionally and then hearing atrocities on the news etc of people hurting and neglecting children....you're right, their children will come hopefully and when they do they will cherish them even more....it's such a shame as they wanted older children and adopters are in short demand for older and sibling groups....I hope it works out for them

..yeah, that was the thing as well..they want older siblings not babies and it must be harder to place two or three siblings in a loving home..they both work with children as well..they would be perfect parents..and will be one day I'm sure..it's a shame they had to go through the whole process and then have to wait another few years though....

[the truth]

Originally Posted by anniek76

I didn't intend to slight a demographic Kizzy, my question was can a jobless teenager provide a safer environment that a gay couple...the answer is one cannot say as it is down to the individual parenting skills so you cannot sweepingly say that gay couples can not provide a safe envirnoment.. I found it a ridiculous arguement and was trying to provide an analogy...

you argued against generalizations about groups of people, by using a generalization about a dfferent group of people.

when deciding who adopts children all factors are taken into account, economics, employment, stable relationships, health, criminal record, education, everything...hes percetly entitled to his opinion, though he does seem to have worded it very poorly...the figures show gay couples are less stable than hetrosexual ones on average,also that a child with a mother and a father has a better chance of a successful life, but its absurd to say its the case for all couples?.ive not studied this subject so I dont know who is best suited, obviously a warm caring loving honest decent person sounds like essential prerequisites to me. I do wonder if part of his quote has been deliberately left out by trouble making journalists though

[AnnieK]

Originally Posted by the truth

you argued against generalizations about groups of people, by using a generalization about a dfferent group of people.

when deciding who adopts children all factors are taken into account, economics, employment, stable relationships, health, criminal record, education, everything...hes percetly entitled to his opinion, though he does seem to have worded it very poorly...the figures show gay couples are less stable than hetrosexual ones on average,also that a child with a mother and a father has a better chance of a successful life, but its absurd to say its the case for all couples?.ive not studied this subject so I dont know who is best suited, obviously a warm caring loving honest decent person sounds like essential prerequisites to me. I do wonder if part of his quote has been deliberately left out by trouble making journalists though

If you had read my other posts you will see that admittedly I did not state my case very well but I do believe that parenting skills have nothing to do with sexuality and I do have experience in the whole subject of adoption etc

...the bit in bold, I do wholeheartedly agree with...

[the truth]

Originally Posted by anniek76

If you had read my other posts you will see that admittedly I did not state my case very well but I do believe that parenting skills have nothing to do with sexuality and I do have experience in the whole subject of adoption etc

...the bit in bold, I do wholeheartedly agree with...

its on a case by case basis, if he said what he said the way he said I disagree with him....I wouldnt be suprised if our hysterical media edited his comments but I dont know for sure.

[lostalex]

I already say everything i have to say on the Guardian article about this, but needless to say, i was outraged.