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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 6,675
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 6,675
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Crotch Horrors
So I spotted this earlier... Heard about the first one and the paint gun one before.
Quote:
A TEENAGE girl has been arrested in Florida for chomping on her boyfriend's bits, after he refused to have sex with her.
Krystle Harrison, 19, sank her teeth in 24-year-old Jeffrey Wilkinson's penis after he rejected her advances, at the couple's home in Bradenten near Tampa.
She is facing domestic battery charges, while Jeffrey is nursing his badly punctured privates.
But it could have been so much worse....
While his wounded willy recovers, Jeffrey can console himself with the knowledge his crown jewels weren't lopped off completely, bitten by a deadly snake, burned by chemicals... or even served up in a soup!
Here's a collection of the ten most eye-watering tackle catastrophes:
Cut off by angry wife
John Wayne Bobbitt became an overnight celebrity in 1993, when his wife Lorena sliced off his manhood and drove off - before tossing it into a field.
Incredibly the missing penis was found and reattached to its relieved owner.
Lorena originally claimed she'd been raped by her husband but later admitted to police she took a knife to his bits because he always orgasmed first when they had sex.
Reunited with his penis, John later cashed in on his notoriety - forming a band called the Severed Parts and even launching a successful porn career.
(I recommend googling 'John Wayne Hobbit')
Shot by a paintball gun
Groom Dan Littlejohn's balls swelled to the size of his head after he was shot in the nether region during a paintball battle on his stag do.
He dashed to hospital in agony and shocked doctors found the paintball had slammed into Dan with such force it tore an artery.
The 30-year-old mechanic from Horsham, West Sussex spent a week in hospital and had to waddle down the aisle a month later when he married sweetheart Gemma Matthews.
Dan said: “I walked like John Wayne on my wedding day.
“And you can imagine what it was like on my wedding night. I just couldn’t move, let alone consummate the marriage.”
Sliced off by a carpenter
Stuart Keen, 54, from Wantage slipped and sliced off his manhood while buildling a cabinet in his workshop.
Keen, who was reportedly drunk at the time, was rushed to hospital by ambulance clutching his dismembered member - and doctors managed to stitch it back on.
Stuart was too embarrassed to talk to the press - but his mother, Edna, 84, insisted there was nothing unusual about his accidental amputation.
She said: "Stuart is a carpenter and uses sharp and sometimes dangerous tools. This was an unfortunate accident but these things happen all the time to people in his profession."
Dished up in soup
A Thai wife hacked her husband to death with a garden hose then chopped off his penis and made it into spicy Tom Yam soup.
Preeyapha Tasuwan, 37, didn't eat the soup - but left it cooking on the stove and hanged herself.
Bangkok cops said she feared cheating hubby Rangsan Supakpatana, 46, was going to leave her.
She left a note reading: “I have to kill you so we can live together forever.”
Burned by toxic shower gel
A carpet cleaner was left in agony when a 99p shower gel burned his penis and testicles.
Raymond Cuss, 42, says a layer of skin was ripped off his privates and his manhood was bright red after he used the liquid soap.
Raymond, who feared he was scarred for life, has won a £1,000 payout from a branch of 99p Stores in Gosport, Hants.
Stuck in a pipe
A man had to have his penis cut free by firefighters after he got it stuck in a steel pipe.
The mystery victim walked into A&E at Southampton General Hospital still attached to the unusual accessory.
Doctors failed to free the chap's tackle because restricted blood flow made him more aroused.
In the end SEVEN firemen took a metal grinder to the pipe and freed him after a delicate 30-minute operation.
A fire service spokesman said: “It’s certainly an unusual call-out and I’m sure the man won’t be getting into that situation again.”
The man survived with his tackle intact - albeit swollen and badly bruised.
Removed after a botched circumcision
A South African man had to have his willy amputated after part of it was sliced off during a botched amputation.
The 22-year-old was rushed to hospital in excrutiating pain, but medics were unable to reattached the missing tip.
Hospital spokesman Sizwe Kupelo confirmed: "This young man will be losing his manhood."
Eaten by dogs
A jealous wife sliced off her cheating hubby’s manhood with a kitchen knife – and threw it to the DOGS.
Raging Kailasben Vyshali, from Mehsana, India, drugged her man with sleeping pills, served in a cup of tea, after he came home from seeing his mistress.
Then while he slept she chopped off his penis with a razor sharp blade and threw it into the street where it was snapped up by a pack of stray dogs.
“The hospital managed to save his life but the rest of him was never found. He’s certainly never going to cheat again,” said one doctor.
Bitten by a snake
Daryl Zutt was bitten on his penis by a deadly brown snake during a hunting trip in Queensland, Australia.
As soon as he whipped out his manhood to relieve himself, the reptile pounced sinking its venom into Daryl's tackle.
Convinced he was a goner, he phoned his mum to say goodbye - but pals quickly whisked him off to hospital, where he made a full recovery.
Served up as food
An artist in Japan cut off his own genitals and fed them to a group of diners.
Mao Sugiyama, 22, had his penis and testicles surgically removed and frozen last March.
A month later the "asexual" illustrator defrosted his tackle and cooked it up in public - serving the delicacy to customers at £160 (20,000 yen) a time.
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19-05-2013, 08:10 PM
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Eaten by dogs
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