[Shaun]

to the tune of...

Youtube video

The stage is illuminated and five novelty sized coffins stand upright on the stage. The door to each coffin is slightly ajar, as if something inside each one is about to step out of it, but the audience cannot see inside the coffins. The interior lining of each coffin is a different colour: blue, purple, yellow, green and pink, respectively, though these only become visible when the coffins are open and vacated. The backing track kicks in and the coffin on the right hand side of the stage opens, and Margaret Thatcher strides out to the horror of the audience who begin to scream in horror in between gulps of precious milk.

Maggie: Coal miners I am hating, no point in demonstrating
IRA I am hating, no point in demonstrating

Boys I’m Maggie Thatcher
I’m of iron stature
Hold on to your Walkmans, ‘cause I kept the Falklands
You know this does not please me Maggie turns and looks disgustedly at her coffin
So let's just make this easy
Put me in control
I’ll take your coal

And I’ll take your milk (The audience scream, horrified)
Society needs me
You know that’s a joke
Society what?

I’m under the weather
And now I’m dead for forever
I was so evil
Now I am dust.

'Cause my Cabinet hate me
The number one Iron Lady
So what's up UK?
There is no us!

The other four coffins spring open and the other members of the Diktaturdays step onto the stage. Maggie puts on a Northern accent and pretends to be a coal miner, with the other band members laughing at her impersonation.

Whatcha doin' to my job? (Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)
Really wanna punch your gob! (Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)
Let’s go get the angry mob! (Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)
What about us? (There is no us!)

Another of the band members moves into the middle of the formation and takes the lead vocals. It’s none other than Kim Jong-il! The audience boo, but he pays them no heed.

Kim Jong-il: I’m dead and pushing daisies, Kim Jong-il is so crazy (He strokes Maggie’s face as he sings the next line, she looks away nonchalantly.)
You’re dead and pushing daisies, you are the Iron Lady

I’m one angry mister
Take it take it Seoul, ha
Don't be 'fraid to show them, all our freakin' nukes
Don’t take our threats lightly
USA’s in sight next
Now it's their turn-turn (yes it's their turn)

I am Kim Jong-il, why are we waiting?
You follow my lead!
Oh I think my heart’s stopped

I’m under the weather
And now we’re dead and together
So what's up Maggie?
Kim Jong-il rocks!

'Cause I've been plotting and hating
And now my son is totes baiting
Kill them all Jong-un!
Turn them to dust!

Kim Jong-il pretends to be an average North Korean citizen, the other band members laugh at his impersonation.

Can we have the internet? (Na, na, na, na, na)
How about a TV set? (Na, na, na, na, na)
Oh my god we’re so upset! (Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha)
What about us?

The band perform some choreography during the dance breakdown, while a third member takes the lead vocals. It’s none other than Robert Mugabe! As the only living member of the band, he’s also the only one currently linked to Taylor Swift, earning him an extra loud round of boos from the audience. He chants his lines, with each of the other four band members falling to the floor at the end of each line, one by one.

Mugabe:Turn them to dust-dust-dust-dust-dust-dust
Turn them to dust-dust-dust-dust-dust-dust
Turn them to dust-dust-dust-dust-dust-dust
Turn them to dust, yeah!

A fourth band member takes the lead vocals. He writhes forward on his hands and knees while the other three jump to their feet alongside Mugabe as he calls their names. It’s Adolf Hitler! The booing becomes deafeningly loud, but not loud enough to drown out the song.

Hitler: Kim Stalin Maggie
Oh yes and Robert Mugabe
Dictators yes
And Hitler’s on top! (Hitler stands up and poses with his hand on his hip.)

'Cause I've been killing and maiming
Just want the blondes procreating
I’m the Führer!
When will I stop!

Hitler impersonates anyone who’s ever felt oppressed by their government, while the other band members switch to German in response to each line he sings.

Whatcha doin’ to our lives? (Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja)
Coming after you with knives! (Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja)
What if one of them survives? (Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja)
What about us? (Lebensraum Lust!)

The fifth and final band member finally takes the lead vocals for the last section of the song. It’s Joseph Stalin, and the crowd are appalled. His moustache strikes fear in the hearts of the audience, with many people in the crowd mysteriously disappearing for absolutely no reason at all. Hitler, Maggie, Kim Jong-il and Mugabe switch from German to Russian in honour of Stalin.

Stalin: In Siberia
(Da, da, da, da, da)
You’re a prisoner
(da, da, da, da, da)
I’ll kill all of ya!
Genocide‘s a plus
There is no us

The five leaders realise that there is no crowd left; they’ve all mysteriously disappeared onto trains headed for Siberia. Maggie, Hitler, Kim Jong-il and Stalin head back to their coffins and shut the doors behind them, while Mugabe, whose open casket is in the middle of the five, winks seductively at the camera, and the stage goes dark.