[optimisticcynic]

Both are bellends. Neither are abusive or abused. Get a grip TIBB. My missus has tred to change my clothes/hair/friends/saturdays watching football and disdain for soap operas for years. She is not abusing me. She is stating what she'd like me to change, and I have a choice as to whether I comply or not. "I'd never let a man tell me what to do" - like no woman has ever done this to a man!!! ANy gender can be controlling, abuse is a lot more significant and proclaiming its presence now belittles the experience of people truly abused.