[DrunkerThanMoses]

Who would be crowned the Earl of Egotism because they are most likely to want their face added to Mount Rushmore?
Who would be crowned the Duke of Dork because they are most likely to stand in line for ten hours to buy a Zingbot action figure?
Who would be crowned the Sultan of Sexy because they are most likely to be featured on the cover of Hot Highnesses Weekly?
Who would be crowned the King of Klutz because they are most likely to trip over their own words?
Who would be crowned the Mean Queen because they are most likely to laugh while stealing candy from a baby?
Who would be crowned the Lord of Laziness because they are most likely to go straight from living in the Big Brother house to living in their parents' basement?
Who would be crowned the Squire of Sugar because they are most likely to go on an ice cream binge and gain 100 pounds this summer?
Who would be crowned the Friar of Frowns because they are most likely to whine when the house runs out of wine?
Who would be crowned the Heir to Hair because it looks like they go to a barber who uses a weed whacker?
Who would be crowned the Duchess of Dress because it looks like they buy their wardrobe from the bargain bin?
Who would be crowned the Count of Cute because they are more adorable than a litter of puppies?
Who would be crowned the Maiden of Mischief because they are most likely to egg the Big Brother house on Halloween?
Who would be crowned the Prince of Pecs because they are most likely to wrestle a bear and win?
Who would be crowned the Knight of Naughtiness because they are most likely to strut around town in their underwear?
Who would be crowned the Baron of Boneheads because they are most likely to skydive and forget to wear a parachute?