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Old 03-08-2013, 03:53 PM #76
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CynicalHermit View Post
I wouldn't go exclaiming that too loudly to be honest.


If you do, and somebody says to you 'i've got some you can have, if you help me toss my salad' always say NO

It's like a 2013 version of stranger danger
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Old 03-08-2013, 04:11 PM #77
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If I asked her if I could have a taste of her large kebab do you think I'll get a slap?
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Old 03-08-2013, 07:44 PM #78
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Ask her next time, 'do you like medium or large meat '.
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Old 03-08-2013, 07:52 PM #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simple Minds View Post
If I asked her if I could have a taste of her large kebab do you think I'll get a slap?
At the very least
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Old 03-08-2013, 09:45 PM #80
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Ah who am I kidding, she is a chip shop girl and I'm just a lowly gardener, it was never going to be,


An ode to a chip shop lady;


Oh chip shop girl,
Your eyes were bright
Like Turkish delight
Or perhaps a Viennese whirl

Oh chip shop lady,
You gave me good meat,
You were ever so sweet,
If only I could give you my gravy

Did you want to poison me?
You gave me that food
I pictured you nude
But alas it was never to be.

Fin

Last edited by Kyle; 03-08-2013 at 09:46 PM.
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Old 03-08-2013, 09:52 PM #81
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simple Minds View Post
Ah who am I kidding, she is a chip shop girl and I'm just a lowly gardener, it was never going to be,


An ode to a chip shop lady;


Oh chip shop girl,
Your eyes were bright
Like Turkish delight
Or perhaps a Viennese whirl

Oh chip shop lady,
You gave me good meat,
You were ever so sweet,
If only I could give you my gravy

Did you want to poison me?
You gave me that food
I pictured you nude
But alas it was never to be.

Fin
a poetic masterpiece, I'm incredibly moved .. Sob.
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Old 03-08-2013, 09:54 PM #82
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Originally Posted by *Kate* View Post
a poetic masterpiece, I'm incredibly moved .. Sob.
enough to start working in a chippy
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Old 03-08-2013, 09:55 PM #83
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Kate* View Post
a poetic masterpiece, I'm incredibly moved .. Sob.
Don't laugh at me, I'm heart broken! An empty shell of a man with an empty kebab box to boot.


Cheer me up now!
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Old 03-08-2013, 09:56 PM #84
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Quote:
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enough to start working in a chippy
I got a D in my deep fat frying classes in school. No reputable chip shop in the country would have me with those grades.
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Old 03-08-2013, 09:57 PM #85
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I got a D in my deep fat frying classes in school. No reputable chip shop in the country would have me with those grades.
not you, kate.
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Old 03-08-2013, 09:57 PM #86
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The Gardener & The Chip Shop Girl

That's a film just waiting to be made
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:01 PM #87
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not you, kate.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:02 PM #88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simple Minds View Post
Don't laugh at me, I'm heart broken! An empty shell of a man with an empty kebab box to boot.


Cheer me up now!
Awwwww. here, have a grape..
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:02 PM #89
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Originally Posted by CynicalHermit View Post
The Gardener & The Chip Shop Girl

That's a film just waiting to be made
I'm available to play the gardener. And the chip shop girl must be fit, I'm talking Susan Boyle fit. Pure stunner.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:03 PM #90
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Awwwww. here, have a grape..
It better be a red one.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:04 PM #91
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I'll play the chip shop girl.

- chews gum and burps -
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:05 PM #92
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I'll play the chip shop girl.

- chews gum and burps -
Nice one, are you partial to a spot of nudity? You know for the audience, not me.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:07 PM #93
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Nice one, are you partial to a spot of nudity? You know for the audience, not me.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:09 PM #94
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Yep, just awaiting my infraction for that one.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:10 PM #95
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I'm as pure as the driven slush I'll have you know.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:15 PM #96
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I've got other titles for this film..



Carry on Kebabing
Brokeback Sausage
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:18 PM #97
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I've got other titles for this film..



Carry on Kebabing
Brokeback Sausage
I like.

Chippy off the old block.

Out of the frying pan...... And into her bed.

Lord of the onion rings.

Last edited by Kyle; 03-08-2013 at 10:19 PM.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:20 PM #98
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riding the gravy train.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:20 PM #99
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Working title - tales from the deep fat fryer
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Old 04-08-2013, 09:43 AM #100
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I'm off to give Peter Jackson the script he can make it into a trilogy. Hollywood here we come ya bastards!
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