[lostalex]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

I must point to the lady on your page, she had an image that women wanted to emulate.

she was quite thin and glamorous wasn't she?

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by lostalex

i think, to stay on topic, it is the parents job to tell their kids that their appearance is not important, because you can't change it.

Why do young girls feel that their appearance is so important? It's not TV or the Internet's job to teach young girls what is important. If a young girl is so concerned with her appearance, that is because of poor parenting.

If i had a daughter she wouldn't be worried about what she looked like when she is 10 years old, she'd be too busy with many other things.

that's just it!
tv and internet are filling young girls head's with its all about image, they are not giving a balanced point of view.

your parents did not want you to watch the simpsons because they thought it was a bad influence, but you still watched it!

you don't know what your daughter would be worried about, because like you she may get the information from someone else.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by lostalex

i think, to stay on topic, it is the parents job to tell their kids that their appearance is not important, because you can't change it.

Why do young girls feel that their appearance is so important? It's not TV or the Internet's job to teach young girls what is important. If a young girl is so concerned with her appearance, that is because of poor parenting.

If i had a daughter she wouldn't be worried about what she looked like when she is 10 years old, she'd be too busy with many other things.

..I'm not dismissing parent responsibilities at all, of course it's a huge part but it's also something that can't be 'controlled', unlike say, school responsibility, which is monitored/Ofsted in terms of behaviour policies etc if a school is particularly bad at some area...with parents, they all raise their children to their own specifics and some are very uninterested/involved with their children's lives..on the whole, I think that's the minority though...but by often blaming the parents..(I don't mean you and only this particular thing..)..it just kind of detracts from 'blames' that maybe could be controlled or tried to be...like large internet sites like Youtube etc and what they allow...and I'm not saying that's easy either or even possible but for me, it's something that should be looked at more closely by governments.....

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

I must point to the lady on your page, she had an image that women wanted to emulate.

..you mean Audrey Hepburn..?...yeah, that's what I mean, 'image' is not a new thing at all/it's just the internet that is new...

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..I'm not dismissing parent responsibilities at all, of course it's a huge part but it's also something that can't be 'controlled', unlike say, school responsibility, which is monitored/Ofsted in terms of behaviour policies etc if a school is particularly bad at some area...with parents, they all raise their children to their own specifics and some are very uninterested/involved with their children's lives..on the whole, I think that's the minority though...but by often blaming the parents..(I don't mean you and only this particular thing..)..it just kind of detracts from 'blames' that maybe could be controlled or tried to be...like large internet sites like Youtube etc and what they allow...and I'm not saying that's easy either or even possible but for me, it's something that should be looked at more closely by governments.....



..you mean Audrey Hepburn..?...yeah, that's what I mean, 'image' is not a new thing at all/it's just the internet that is new...

I don't think anyone on this forum does not know who she is, after all we have the thread that just wont die

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

I don't think anyone on this forum does not know who she is, after all we have the thread that just wont die

..yeah, I love this forum..great threads......

[lostalex]

But the point is, when my parents didn't let me watch the Simpsons, they explained it to me, they told me it's because it's about a boy who is misbehaved and who doesn't do well in school, and doesn't respect his teachers. so when i did actually watch the simpsons at my friends house, i saw exactly what they meant, and they were right, i should;'t want to be like Bart Simpson.

So even though i watched it at my friends house, at least my parents talked about it with me before hand, and i knew that bart simpson was a bad role model, and i shouldn't want to be like bart simpson. I was able to think about it, and realize that Bart is not a cool kid that i should emulate, he's just a comedy character on TV.

this is in the early 90's i must say, i realize that now there is much more pressures on kids, but i'm just using an example from my childhood.

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by thesheriff443

I don't think anyone on this forum does not know who she is, after all we have the thread that just wont die

lol of course. this forum is 90% gay men and str8 women. so of course we all know Audrey.

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

Not too surprised Ammi as many people have been looking for validation online with sites such as hot or not and also when girls posts selfies on facebook, instagram their mood that day can be based on how many likes they obtain from that picture.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by lostalex

But the point is, when my parents didn't let me watch the Simpsons, they explained it to me, they told me it's because it's about a boy who is misbehaved and who doesn't do well in school, and doesn't respect his teachers. so when i did actually watch the simpsons at my friends house, i saw exactly what they meant, and they were right, i should;'t want to be like Bart Simpson.

So even though i watched it at my friends house, at least my parents talked about it with me before hand, and i knew that bart simpson was a bad role model, and i shouldn't want to be like bart simpson. I was able to think about it, and realize that Bart is not a cool kid that i should emulate, he's just a comedy character on TV.

I don't think bart simpson as got anything on you!
lets just say, its just another part of the messed up world we live in.

[thesheriff443]

Originally Posted by lostalex

lol of course. this forum is 90% gay men and str8 women. so of course we all know Audrey.

I think I make up the whole 10% of the straight men on the forum

[user104658]

Originally Posted by lostalex

But the point is, when my parents didn't let me watch the Simpsons, they explained it to me, they told me it's because it's about a boy who is misbehaved and who doesn't do well in school, and doesn't respect his teachers. so when i did actually watch the simpsons at my friends house, i saw exactly what they meant, and they were right, i should;'t want to be like Bart Simpson.

So even though i watched it at my friends house, at least my parents talked about it with me before hand, and i knew that bart simpson was a bad role model, and i shouldn't want to be like bart simpson. I was able to think about it, and realize that Bart is not a cool kid that i should emulate, he's just a comedy character on TV.

I get what you're saying here but it's exactly why I think its important to NOT outright ban watching anything, but instead, to be a present and active influence providing context and commentary and discussing these things as they arise. The thing is, a lot if parents don't say WHY they're saying no. It's just "no". And then when their kids inevitably encounter these things anyway, away from their parents, it's without that valuable opportunity to discuss it and learn.

I had this debate with someone recently, who was adamant that advertising should be kept away from children at all costs. I argued that, if you do that, they will be naive and unaware when they encounter advertising as an adult. Its important that they DO see advertising, and that their first experiences of it involve discussion, because the only way to be immune to advertising (and any other subliminal messaging, such as the vanity issue of this thread) is to be completely aware of it and have the ability to view it critically.

[Nedusa]

Originally Posted by lostalex

I think girls should be confident for other reasons, not how good-looking or how ugly they are.

The problem is not girls being ugly, the problem is that girls think that being attractive is the only way to be self-confident. So you see a lot of ugly girls marching around trying to be pretty, but they aren't pretty they are ugly, they need to realize that.

Girls should have self worth even if they are ugly. They should be proud of being smart, or talented, or for the good work they do. Being good looking doesn't make you a good person.

The problem is not with people telling ugly girls that they are ugly, the problem is that girls think that how they look has anything to do with their own worth as a person. You can be a great person without being "sexy". You can be an amazing person even though you are physically unattractive.

But marching around needing a confidence boost from other people, being hypersensitive, needing constant reassurance from other people that you are good looking, that just makes you look like a twat.

Here's a shocking statement, how you look IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!

Difficult for most 14 year old girls to not worry about how they look. They are bombarded from every corner with advice how to look good how to have perfect skin and hair, how to attain that perfect body etc..

Since they going through puberty sexual attractiveness is probably the highest thing on the agenda for them and all their friends.

Inner confidence and a developed personality will arrive later but at this age unfortunately it's all about the looks. Everything is traded on looks as the prettiest girls do get the first pick on just about everything.

It shouldn't be like this and although to a large part it is human nature, things are not helped by the modern consumerist, voyeuristic society we now live in.

[Kyle]

It's not just about girls anymore, men can be just as pre-occupied with their appearance.

Like I've said on here I suffer from a mental illness called Body Dysmorphic Disorder where I can't even leave the house most of the time because I'm so obsessed over my appearance. This mental illness is split right down the middle between genders.

[Ithinkiloveyoutoo]

Originally Posted by Simple Minds

It's not just about girls anymore, men can be just as pre-occupied with their appearance.

Like I've said on here I suffer from a mental illness called Body Dysmorphic Disorder where I can't even leave the house most of the time because I'm so obsessed over my appearance. This mental illness is split right down the middle between genders.

yup just the other day there was an article about the rise in manorexia.

[lostalex]

Youtube video

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Simple Minds

It's not just about girls anymore, men can be just as pre-occupied with their appearance.

Like I've said on here I suffer from a mental illness called Body Dysmorphic Disorder where I can't even leave the house most of the time because I'm so obsessed over my appearance. This mental illness is split right down the middle between genders.

..for sure, this 'trend' is specific to females atm according to the article but I would be surprised if it didn't become male/female very soon, if not already...

[Kyle]

Quite a harrowing song and video Alex it's actually got me welling up a bit.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..for sure, this 'trend' is specific to females atm according to the article but I would be surprised if it didn't become male/female very soon, if not already...

This video trend you have selected for debate (good debate btw) doesn't surprise me that it is generally female specific. Men for the most part still tend to suffer appearance concerns in silence due to fear of ridicule or being called weak.

Also worth noting that these girls are making a big mistake doing things like this. The internet is a great hiding place for mean spirited individuals who would quite happily say something to ruin one of these poor young girls life. And you know that they say, it takes 10 compliments to negate an insult.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Simple Minds

This video trend you have selected for debate (good debate btw) doesn't surprise me that it is generally female specific. Men for the most part still tend to suffer appearance concerns in silence due to fear of ridicule or being called weak.

Also worth noting that these girls are making a big mistake doing things like this. The internet is a great hiding place for mean spirited individuals who would quite happily say something to ruin one of these poor young girls life. And you know that they say, it takes 10 compliments to negate an insult.

..yeah, actually, obviously they are females but 'girls' as the age range quoted was 9-14yrs, so not adults as all..so I guess it would be 'boys' rather than 'men' it would apply to, which I'm sure it will soon, if not already..the article is quite recent but the 'trend' may not be...

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by Simple Minds

Quite a harrowing song and video Alex it's actually got me welling up a bit.

What you were saying made me think of that song right away, one of my favorite songs. I thought you could relate to it. Sorry if it made you sad.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by lostalex

What you were saying made me think of that song right away, sorry if it made you sad.

It's ok Alex, I meant it in a good way like I understand him completely. I've looked up the singer from that band and it looks like he had depression issues too. He sounds like he's body dysmorphic, talking about he can never see himself how others see him.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..yeah, actually, obviously they are females but 'girls' as the age range quoted was 9-14yrs, so not adults as all..so I guess it would be 'boys' rather than 'men' it would apply to, which I'm sure it will soon, if not already..the article is quite recent but the 'trend' may not be...

I've seen it happen on Facebook but at least it's a 'little' safer on there as the people seeing these things are generally their friends so they wouldn't actively choose to hurt them.

Adolescence is a major trigger for setting off point for appearance concerns I just hope some sadistic fu*cker doesn't set these poor young girls off on a perpetual spin of self destruction. I don't condone what these girls are doing, it's not good and maybe some are looking for attention but I can imagine some of them are just desperately seeking reassurance.

[lostalex]

hey, here's the other side of it. (sorry they took all of them off of youtube so i only have a vimeo link)

dedicated to you

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by lostalex

hey, here's the other side of it. (sorry they took all of them off of youtube so i only have a vimeo link)

dedicated to you

Lol thanks Alex

[Me. I Am Salman]

Originally Posted by lostalex

I don't understand why it's disturbing.

The truth is most people think they are better looking than they actually are. It's probably a good thing for people to hear the truth about themselves so they can have more realistic expectations.

when ever you see a fat girl in tight clothes, they really think that they look good. self-delusion is very powerful.

most people when they look in the mirror focus on one part of themselves that they like. Most people will say things to themselves like "i have really nice eyes" or "i have really nice breasts" and completely block out the bigger picture. Most unattractive people really don't know that they are unattractive.

You see it all the time, hideous repulsive men walking around like they are god's gift to women, or fat sloppy women marching around in tight clothes like they are models.

people are very delusional about how other people see them.

what is this BS you're on about now. that isn't true at all, most people are far too harsh on themselves. loads of these people who upload videos to youtube aren't ugly at all