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Old 04-12-2013, 11:11 AM #26
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Nice bit of pine there in all senses of the word
One had to exude the sense of anger in oneself whence one made this particular sketch. When one reads the art they must say to themself this tree really is angry and whoever drew it must have failed at art!
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:00 PM #27
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"You see children" she began to remark as they eventually made their way into the kitchen. "I am just a poor old woman all alone in an enchanted forest with nothing but a shelf full of Cook books and fantasy porn novels."
She fixed Salman with a stare.
"I have learnt to make the very finest foods. The finest in all the land most certainly. There is no finer cook than myself and I am a master chocolatier! It was I that taught the Belgians before those wretched swines stole my recipe!"
The sound of an alarm suddenly went off and broke Old GypsyGoth from her deliberations.
"Ah time for my special ingredients! You stay right there and little old GypsyGoth will go and get them. This will be the finest chocolate you ever tasted!"

So off she went out of the back door and Saph immediately pulled Salman aside and whispered in his ear.
"I do not trust this lady, Salmmy."
"But she's just an old lady Saph! And she has chocolate! I love chocolate. A kind man in a white van once offered me chocolate and all he wanted me to do was just come inside and have a look at his prawn collection but then a police man came by and he just upped and drove away! Well not this time Saph I want chocolate!"
Saph scorned.
"I'm pretty sure it wasn't prawns but we will discuss that later. Right now you have to trust me on this. We have to make her eat the chocolate herself. I think it's poisonous!"
"How we going to do that?" Salman said. "If it's poisonous she won't eat it!"
"I have an idea. I think this woman's greatest flaw is her pride. We must appeal to her pride. I will pretend I have eaten some of her chocolate while you distract her with tales of how the Belgians stole her prize recipe"
"Then what?" Salman said eagerly.
"I will tell her that her chocolate isn't very good. I will tell her the chocolate on your coat is better!"
With a flash Saph tore a chunk off of Salmans coat and threw it in the corner of the room out of the way.
"Noooooooooo" Salman cried. "My coat Saph"
"Salman you have to trust me. I will then get her to try some and then, if she is dull witted as she seems, we get her to compare it with her own and then we shall know if her chocolate is poisonous."

With a crash the old lady came back in with what looked like a few little petals in her old wrangled fingers. She put them into a pot that was stewing on the stove and stirred it fiercely. It disturbed the air in the room and all of a sudden the aroma of warm sweet chocolate filled their nostrils. Salman began to look Weary.
Stay with it Salmmy, Saph thought in her head. This will indeed be a test I think....



as Salman was looking a bit peaky, could he be coming down with the Norovirus that was so common at this time of year she wondered, will have to google it when I get home Saph thought to herself just to be sure I don't want to spend Christmas with my head down the toilet, meanwhile the smell of chocolate filled the room, Gypsygoth stirred and stirred, Salman wobbled on his spindly legs and started to hallucinate that Rhianna was stirring the chocolate, Saph decided to...
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:06 PM #28
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as Salman was looking a bit peaky, could he be coming down with the Norovirus that was so common at this time of year she wondered, will have to google it when I get home Saph thought to herself just to be sure I don't want to spend Christmas with my head down the toilet, meanwhile the smell of chocolate filled the room, Gypsygoth stirred and stirred, Salman wobbled on his spindly legs and started to hallucinate that Rhianna was stirring the chocolate, Saph decided to...

..open her Christmas gifts early which flaunted traditions and would bring down the wrath of the Great Priestess, Sooty..everything in all their lives was about to change in a way they could never have predicted....
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:15 PM #29
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......suddenly the vision of the Priestess Sooty and the magnificent presents elapsed from her realm of thought and jaunted back into the here and now just in time to grab Salman as he fell. His arms collapsing helplessly by his side. GypsyGoth suddenly started, backing against the nearest wall and dropping the ladle which made a large clang on the stone floor.
"Wh...wh...what..what's wrong with him?" she cackled extending an elongated finger at the poor boy who had began to lose colour in his cheeks.
"I think he has the Norovirus." Saph suddenly clicked on. This was a trick her and Salman used to play on Mother Lee to save them from having to eat her stale broth.
"Is it dangerous?" GypsyGoth asked horrified at the turn of events.
"Yes it is, for children......and the elderly" Saph raised her eyes at the old woman as she spoke.
With that she shrieked and with amazing dexterity for an old woman she fled from the house and out of sight. Salman gave a cheeky raise of one eye and saw Saph with a smile as wide as a Cheshire Cat.
"I would never have thought about that Salmmy. We make a good team you and I"
"Yes you do" Proclaimed Marc as he and FaiReeece(: appeared from the safety of the other room. "Salman here has a great deal more panache than I would expect from one so young. Maybe it is actually you who is the chosen one."
"Let's not speak of that now" cried FaiReece. "By the strand of my beautiful hair we must leave this place swiftly and onto our final mission before we truly accept you"
Salman picked himself up, smiling cheekily at the thought of being appraised ahead of Saph.
"Come then" he beckoned. "Show me where the third test lies. I'll show you how it's done Saph!"

Last edited by Kyle; 04-12-2013 at 01:21 PM.
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Old 04-12-2013, 01:16 PM #30
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Ah crap we have an overlap.

I'll work the opening part of mine around it.

Edit: I've changed it to incorporate your post is that ok Ammi?

Last edited by Kyle; 04-12-2013 at 01:19 PM.
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:07 PM #31
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But before they could leave a beautiful Gingerbread lady entered the cottage, I am Marc's betrothed she gasped, don't leave without me! I have arranged transport for my hero and his helpers, Is anyone going to introduce us? asked Saph, you can't be too careful can you these days she said to Salman and he wisely nodded in agreement, Marc quickly introduced his future wife Annie and with that the Gingerbread lady beckoned them outside to a waiting carriage which was being driven by ....
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:11 PM #32
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Originally Posted by ChristMASS EFFECT View Post
Ah crap we have an overlap.

I'll work the opening part of mine around it.

Edit: I've changed it to incorporate your post is that ok Ammi?
..yeah, no worries, it's kind that kind of thread anyway, it makes it better I think..getting muddled...
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Old 04-12-2013, 02:31 PM #33
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....a mysterious bovine creature with huge tusks, draped in a long cloak with a hood that he had loose down leaving his Boar like face in full view.
"Do not be alarmed" said Annie. "This is Waterhog, my advisor and trusted bard."
"Good day to thee,
Nice day I see.
Winter's all around,
Gentle snow upon the ground."
"Why does he talk funny?" Remarked Salman. Saph gave him a nudge of disapproval.
"He has always spoke like this since I have known him. He was given to me as a child by King Joey de Steel and Queen Kaz le Anne who are my parents. I am on my way to see them this minute in the Gingerbread realm of Manc and give them council on these most grave of days. They look forward to meeting you eventually Saph."
"Really?" Cried Saph taken aback.
"Indeed. The head of our Priestly order Matriach Ammi predicted that on the eve of Christmas there will be a young lady who will restore Christmas. Marc here has me convinced that person is you"
FaiReece(: and Marc smiled and Lady Annie rested her elegant fingers lovingly on Marc's shoulder.
"Now, we must get going, your third test is on the way to my kingdom we shall drop you there. I wish you both good luck. Waterhog, full speed if you please."

Last edited by Kyle; 04-12-2013 at 02:42 PM.
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Old 05-12-2013, 09:17 PM #34
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Awwww the story died.

Looks like Poor Saph and Salman aren't going to get their Christmas wish and save Christmas after all.
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Old 06-12-2013, 03:09 PM #35
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So Waterhog recited a poem and the horses took at at full tilt, they knew if they dallied he wouldn't stop, they crashed through the forest at high speed exiting at the Asda Walmart carpark where they nearly ran over Arista pushing a trolley full of cut price Pringles, his cries of Utter Bliss were carried away by the wind, Salman hung on to Saph as they were tossed and turned this way and that as the horses reentered the forest, I think we might be going round in circles thought Saph and just then..
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Old 06-12-2013, 03:19 PM #36
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Can I be a character? sorry if its late!
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Old 06-12-2013, 03:37 PM #37
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Can I be a character? sorry if its late!
I aim to get as many people in as possible without introducing new characters every second sentence and turning it into The Lord of the Rings. .

Everybody should have a part.
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Old 06-12-2013, 03:41 PM #38
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So Waterhog recited a poem and the horses took at at full tilt, they knew if they dallied he wouldn't stop, they crashed through the forest at high speed exiting at the Asda Walmart carpark where they nearly ran over Arista pushing a trolley full of cut price Pringles, his cries of Utter Bliss were carried away by the wind, Salman hung on to Saph as they were tossed and turned this way and that as the horses reentered the forest, I think we might be going round in circles thought Saph and just then.....


...ahead of them, they saw what looked like a forest goblin, they had heard many stories about the magical potions that the goblins made to bring good fortune to people and the wisdom of the King of the Goblins, whose name was Cuda, a legend in these parts....
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Old 06-12-2013, 03:53 PM #39
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So Waterhog recited a poem and the horses took at at full tilt, they knew if they dallied he wouldn't stop, they crashed through the forest at high speed exiting at the Asda Walmart carpark where they nearly ran over Arista pushing a trolley full of cut price Pringles, his cries of Utter Bliss were carried away by the wind, Salman hung on to Saph as they were tossed and turned this way and that as the horses reentered the forest, I think we might be going round in circles thought Saph and just then..
...the party heard soft signing come from behind the bush.
"Stop" Cried Saph and the carriage halted leaving Waterhog to grunt in frustration. Still the noise continued and got louder as Saph and Salman dismounted followed closely behind by FaiReece who was buzzing around frantically.
Saph pushed apart two branches and there in front of them was a small baby reindeer huddling close to itself to keep warm.
"Wow" Salman exclaimed. "Who are you"
The reindeer stopped making noise and looked Saph in the eyes. Saph decided to ask it a question.
"What are you doing in here?" She said
"I'm Cudolph!" Said the Reindeer.
"Are you cold Cudolph?" Salman said.
"I'm hiding inside this bush from an evil man that keeps trying to make me shop at Asda" said Cudolph
"Ah we've seen him. I wouldn't worry about him he is busy eating Pringles, they cost £1 apparently. A good deal don't you think?" Saph said.
"Yes I'm very cold!" The reindeer replied.
Saph and Salman screwed their faces in confusion.
" ok listen here you silly little...." Salman could barely finish before Saph nudged him and threw him off.
"I get it, he doesn't answer your question directly, he seems to only answer the question before." She whispered to Salman.
Salman gave a look of disgust and rubbed his shoulder.
"We could do with another reindeer to drive us. Would you like to come with us on our adventure?" Saph asked endearingly.
"Yes it's a great deal!" Cudolph exclaimed.
Saph smiled to herself.
"What do you think of my friend Salman"
"Yes I'll join you!"
"Good" she said. "Let's head back to the carriage."
So everybody trudged back to the carriage with Waterhog securing Cudolph with a harness and running him gently on the head. Soon they were off again.
"I can't wait to ask Cudolph another question" Saph laughed to herself.
"Why?" Salman asked confused.
"Because I get a feeling I'm going to enjoy the answer...."
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Old 06-12-2013, 03:53 PM #40
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Ah feck sake I've done it again.
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Old 06-12-2013, 07:45 PM #41
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....
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Old 07-12-2013, 01:01 PM #42
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Originally Posted by ChristMASS EFFECT View Post
...the party heard soft signing come from behind the bush.
"Stop" Cried Saph and the carriage halted leaving Waterhog to grunt in frustration. Still the noise continued and got louder as Saph and Salman dismounted followed closely behind by FaiReece who was buzzing around frantically.
Saph pushed apart two branches and there in front of them was a small baby reindeer huddling close to itself to keep warm.
"Wow" Salman exclaimed. "Who are you"
The reindeer stopped making noise and looked Saph in the eyes. Saph decided to ask it a question.
"What are you doing in here?" She said
"I'm Cudolph!" Said the Reindeer.
"Are you cold Cudolph?" Salman said.
"I'm hiding inside this bush from an evil man that keeps trying to make me shop at Asda" said Cudolph
"Ah we've seen him. I wouldn't worry about him he is busy eating Pringles, they cost £1 apparently. A good deal don't you think?" Saph said.
"Yes I'm very cold!" The reindeer replied.
Saph and Salman screwed their faces in confusion.
" ok listen here you silly little...." Salman could barely finish before Saph nudged him and threw him off.
"I get it, he doesn't answer your question directly, he seems to only answer the question before." She whispered to Salman.
Salman gave a look of disgust and rubbed his shoulder.
"We could do with another reindeer to drive us. Would you like to come with us on our adventure?" Saph asked endearingly.
"Yes it's a great deal!" Cudolph exclaimed.
Saph smiled to herself.
"What do you think of my friend Salman"
"Yes I'll join you!"
"Good" she said. "Let's head back to the carriage."
So everybody trudged back to the carriage with Waterhog securing Cudolph with a harness and running him gently on the head. Soon they were off again.
"I can't wait to ask Cudolph another question" Saph laughed to herself.
"Why?" Salman asked confused.
"Because I get a feeling I'm going to enjoy the answer...."
Saph, you are just being annoying now moaned Salman and he huffily put on his headphones and listened to some Rhianna tunes, meanwhile Cudolph was working up a sweat out front he wasn't used to being worked so hard, so he made an emergency stop outside the Arista Cafe depositing his passengers in a heap outside the door, inside Sooty was playing some easy listening music and a few honeys were serving behind the counter, the honey's in question Blackdagger and Drew were dressed up as Elves and looking none to happy about it, the Cafe was rammed with regulars who were eager to see the honey's working up a sweat....
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Last edited by Cherie; 07-12-2013 at 01:03 PM.
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