[Kizzy]

I brought two up alone after my partner walked out, my advice to anyone would be to get married before having children.
This way there is a much leveller playing field when you do split.
Being unmarried was a nightmare even with the advent of the CSA it was impossible to get correct assessments as it took months/years to get the correct info, by then some circs could have changed which kept the balls in the air for even longer... meanwhile you try to struggle on.
I appreciate there are those who use the kids as bargaining tools, this is totally wrong financial support and access should never be linked.
Just as bad are the fathers who walk away and never look back hoping to wash their hands and start again.
Everyones individual experience is different, a more child centred approach is what is needed looking at what's important for them... It's not purely a financial issue.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I brought two up alone after my partner walked out, my advice to anyone would be to get married before having children.
This way there is a much leveller playing field when you do split.
Being unmarried was a nightmare even with the advent of the CSA it was impossible to get correct assessments as it took months/years to get the correct info, by then some circs could have changed which kept the balls in the air for even longer... meanwhile you try to struggle on.
I appreciate there are those who use the kids as bargaining tools, this is totally wrong financial support and access should never be linked.
Just as bad are the fathers who walk away and never look back hoping to wash their hands and start again.
Everyones individual experience is different, a more child centred approach is what is needed looking at what's important for them... It's not purely a financial issue.

an excellent and very fair post which has not in any way been clouded by any personal angst or bitterness. I applaud your sincerity and attitude