[Kyle]

Arista's wife said to him last night" Do you fancy going away for a little while?"

He said, "Yeah, I'd love to."

"Good" she said. "Because I've just found the DVD of you shagging the cat."

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by ChristMASSEFFECT

Arista's wife said to him last night" Do you fancy going away for a little while?"

He said, "Yeah, I'd love to."

"Good" she said. "Because I've just found the DVD of you shagging the cat."

That was Morsh and the cat

he admitted it earlier

[Kyle]

A professor at the University of Kentucky was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hand.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

Three students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says "Son, of all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"

Bubba replied, "Awwwwwww Shiiiiiiit!! From way back there I thought you said 'goats'."

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

this thread

[Udanax]

marsh

[Crimson Dynamo]

What's red and orange and looks good on hippies?

Fire.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by SchatarClaus

marsh

Awwwww, young love

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by ChristMASSEFFECT

Arista's wife said to him last night" Do you fancy going away for a little while?"

He said, "Yeah, I'd love to."

"Good" she said. "Because I've just found the DVD of you shagging the cat."

FFS

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by ChristMASSEFFECT

A professor at the University of Kentucky was giving a lecture on the supernatural.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"

About 90 students raise their hands.

"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"

About 40 students raise their hands.

"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"

About 15 students raise their hand.

"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"

Three students raise their hands.

"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"

Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, and says "Son, of all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."

The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"

Bubba replied, "Awwwwwww Shiiiiiiit!! From way back there I thought you said 'goats'."

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Scrooge

Me:- Boss i am not coming into work to day coz i am sick.

Boss:- How sick are you?

Me:- Well i am in bed with my sister

[kirklancaster]

What's red and slimy and wrapped in newspaper?

Spoiler:

Abortion of chips

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by SchatarClaus

marsh

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Scrooge

That was Morsh and the cat

he admitted it earlier

It bloody wasn't.




As if I'd film it.

[Jamesy]

What's the difference between a gay man and a fridge?

Spoiler:

The fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out

[Liam-]

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning."
He replied, "No, just having a sh*t."

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Jamesy

What's the difference between a gay man and a fridge?

Spoiler:

The fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out

Originally Posted by NoëlEdmonds

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and seen a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. I said "morning."
He replied, "No, just having a sh*t."

[Liam-]

A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.
Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons' innocence, the mother turns around and says "Don't worry. That was just an insect."
To which one of the boys replies "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."

[T*]

If I saw an amputee getting hanged, i'd probably just call out random letters.

[Crimson Dynamo]

What do you call an anorexic woman with a yeast infection?





A Quarter pounder with cheese.

[Crimson Dynamo]

A rapist goes to to the forest together with a woman

The woman says: "i'm scared"

The rapist says: "so what? I have to walk back all by myself"

[Liam-]

A Woman is like a pack of Cards...

You need a Heart to love her,

You need a Diamond to win her,

You need a Club to smash her head in,

And a Spade to bury the bitch.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by NoëlEdmonds

A Woman is like a pack of Cards...

You need a Heart to love her,

You need a Diamond to win her,

You need a Club to smash her head in,

And a Spade to bury the bitch.

bit racist

[Liam-]

Police are investigating the bigger picture of Mark Speight's death.

it was sent in by 11 year old Susie from Reading.

[Liam-]

Please don't ban me

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by NoëlEdmonds

Please don't ban me

iv already re[ported you and so has Morsh



lucky for you Josy is in a Gin fuelled stupor slumped at her desk snoring