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Old 21-07-2015, 10:02 PM #351
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(I never want to write 500 words about Winston ever again)
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:03 PM #352
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don't worry you won't have to do any more writing tonight
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:04 PM #353
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cut Aaron save JASON

--

#. Aaron Allard-Morgan (BB12)



BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! /// ALEX! ALEX! ALEX

so yeah, this is PERFECT timing because I'm about to close out my BB12 rewatch and boy is Aaron horrible. Come along for the ride because I have A LOT TO SAY.

People laud Aaron as ~bloody brilliant~ and someone who ~revolutionized the game~ and praise him for being so *complex* and *interesting* but he really wasn't? His storyline consisted of the following,

-emotionally abusing his supposed love Faye until SHE gets guilty and comes crawling back and then swooping in with "I love yous" ("I know I made out with Maisy, but it was *supposed* to be you" ; "how DARE you burp near me, speaking ban!" ; "if you do not freeze out Louise you are terrible and two-faced!" ; etc.)

-pretending to be an out of touch grandfather who doesn't understand these youngings and can't relate to them even though he was born in 19****ing80 (he went on and on about how he has nothing to say to these people and he has nothing in common with them and he cannot bare it, even though he wanted Alex to win more than anyone and made out with a 20 y/o party girl and was "in love" with a 22 y/o wrestler ; he pretended to not know what N-Dubz was ; etc.)

-constructing a narrative where he was the good guy and the Wolfpack were evil, and he waging battle against them by throwing shopping tasks and sabotaging the shopping budget even though that affected people like Alex and Tom who were nominally his friends just because he's that much of a selfish prick ("I know we have to make all these toys, but I am *CONVINCED* that we are supposed to fail this task to pass" ; "Anton is trying to rescue Faye from the task room? We *MUST* stage a group quit muahaha that'll show him" ; it's also worth mentioning that Aaron was totally fine with Harry ordering cereal and bananas and food coloring but then he was SO OFFENDED that people had a food fight with the cereal even though he and his alliance effectively created a situation where food was seen as expendable)

-whining about every single party for dumbass reasons and making it all about himself ("but I don't WANT Indian food!!!" ; "but I don't WANT R&B music!!!" ; "Jay and Louise, how DARE you buy Alex and Tom a present without my consent even though I knew that's what you were doing and I had previously told you to do whatever you wanted!!!")

-being the most ****ing moralizing person ever and being completely in the wrong about it ("EVERYONE IS PLAYING A GAME EXCEPT FOR ME" even though I admitted to playing a game in the first ****ing week ; "Jay and Louise HOW DARE YOU go against our plan to not buy Alex and Tom a gift and try to make me look bad (even though I did the exact ****ing thing last week when I nominated you Louise)" ; etc.)

If you couldn't tell, I could wax poetic for ages. Ultimately, it seems like people praise Aaron for two contradictory views of his character. He's somehow simultaneously ~raw n real and vulnerable~ and *the greatest gameplayer ever* but I don't think he's either of those. Like, I don't think trying to sabotage a shopping task and then sabotaging the shopping budget falls into either of those categories That only tells me that Aaron is ridiculously petty and attention-seeking, and I don't think either of those character traits make someone raw n real or an amazing gameplayer.

Am I allowed to talk about Aaron's fanbase in this write up? I'll try to keep it clean before I get banned but OH MY GOD awful awful awful. Between people at DigitalSpy paraphrasing Churchill speeches as pro-Aaron propaganda, idiots at Sucks who were watching BBUK for the first time but acted like they knew all and thought Aaron was the best EVER literally only because he got the most camera time, and the people here who were fully convinced that the show was rigged against Aaron and would whine about how biased BOTS is even though nobody even complained about Aaron on BOTS until Halloween noms, the fall of 2011 was seriously an awful time to be an internet forum poster. All the Aaron fans tried to paint this picture that Aaron was going to be robbed of the win so they HAD to change it and vote for him because it'd be such a shock, even though Aaron was the top vote getter in Weeks 1, 3, 5, and 7 and is effectively the most predictable winner ever. Talk about whiny martyrdom.

(Also, let it be known that Aaron only won because of cheapened FB voting and the fact that nobody watches this ****ing show anymore!)

So yeah, tl;dr Aaron is just a douche in the same vein as Ziggy, Darnell, Siavash, and John James, but while those four were either A) satisfyingly taken out by VTE, B) wore out their welcome because the show lasted for 90 something days, or C) people actually used to watch this show and used to vote, Aaron won because cheap FB votes meant that you only had to be popular with freaks on the internet who had multiple FB accounts.

I'm saving Jason (BB5) because he has a nice butt.
sorry that this is embarrassingly long but I'm closing out my BB12 rewatch as we speak so the wounds are indeed fresh.
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:04 PM #354
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drag the ****ing dull nasty ****
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:05 PM #355
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:05 PM #356
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sorry that this is embarrassingly long but I'm closing out my BB12 rewatch as we speak so the wounds are indeed fresh.
When will the Bible
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:06 PM #357
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Save Lisa CUT Ash
------------------
Helen's Minion #2, fka Ash Harrison - 4th in BB15


Ash is one of the many male minions of Helen Wood, from the much loved series of BB15UK. He entered the house to straight away become lodged up Helen's rectum alongside the other minions, with his opinion rarely differing from Helen's (comparable to a singer's ad-libs). However, his relationship with Helen was the worst, with them possibly being one of the most tiring semi-showmances there has ever been. He "ladded" up with house bores Marlon and Winston, although all three could rarely be spotted in the first few weeks, it was probably for the best.

He engaged in a row with Toya in week 3, of which she was entirely righteous and somehow he managed to get saved over Toya in an apparently extremely close vote and became a part of the furniture for the rest of the time (at times, the real furniture was more noticeable). You would be able to spot a wild Ash by the Ash-tray smoking his BB time away as he floated his way through the show to 4th place, the highest placing of the minions. There really isn't much to Ash that we haven't seen before... he got amazingly put up by iconic strategist Ashleigh but that's more of an Ashleigh thing. Shockingly he kept surviving public votes, but who would spend their hard earned wage to evict such a non-entity? I guess to some he was a bit of laugh and bantz, as well as eye-candy which cemented his place as the forgotten 4th placer. Post-show he has remained brown nosing his bud Helen, but according to recent tweets... she's just as over him as we all are. Au revoir Ash, I hope to never have to write of you again. X
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:06 PM #358
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Oh wait I meant to end Winston's entry with #cheekynandos but that could easily replace the rest of it and still sum him up so
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:07 PM #359
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sorry that this is embarrassingly long but I'm closing out my BB12 rewatch as we speak so the wounds are indeed fresh.
<3
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:10 PM #360
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also Dennis is the worst housemate of all time, no question. And quite frankly his patronising attitude towards Mo post-incident was worse than the spitting itself

The term 'human trash' gets thrown around a lot here but only he is truly deserving of it. Literal bottom of the barrel scum.
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:11 PM #361
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also Dennis is the worst housemate of all time, no question. And quite frankly his patronising attitude towards Mo post-incident was worse than the spitting itself

The term 'human trash' gets thrown around a lot here but only he is truly deserving of it. Literal bottom of the barrel scum.
urgh I've literally just remembered
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:16 PM #362
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Dennis and Mo were feuding long before the incident too.
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:16 PM #363
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Also it's my 5th TiBB birthday tomorrow so

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Old 21-07-2015, 10:16 PM #364
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Dennis was far too OTT as well
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:16 PM #365
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Has Espeon chosen on Kenneth and Luke S?
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:17 PM #366
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I don't think so, but I trust Espeon to make the right decision and save Luke S <3
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:17 PM #367
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Evil Bea basher out!
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:17 PM #368
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I don't think so, but I trust Espeon to make the right decision and save Luke S <3
I'd choose him too

The wonderful people so far:
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:21 PM #369
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It's a great list so far outside of Aaron leaving. But the people involved in this would ensure he'd go early so it was to be expected.
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:21 PM #370
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#255 - Steven


Love Never Felt So Goode

Once upon a time, Steven was shaping up to be another 'Channel 5 Bore' and found himself rather amusingly in the firing line when Danielle came to blows with Helen. He didn't seem to offer a lot much else to the house in its early days aside from a slightly inflated sense of self and stories about his mum. Mama Goode is another factor in my eviction of him, in fact - has there ever been a more desperate supporter in the eviction crowd interviews?

But then came along Kimberly and the most baffling BB relationship to date. I can't explain it, I really can't, I don't know if he's dementor-kissed the life and soul away from her, I don't know if her type is 'potato-faced plastic surgery addicts with a love of mascara', I just don't know what went on there. Obviously, 'open it' will be used in centuries to come to explain why the heterosexuals were wiped out by the gay elite.

In a more serious light he joins a long list of BB males with emotionally abusive tendencies towards their chosen partner, and aside from now basically using Kimberly as some poor, trapped ventriloquist's dummy, he's also friends with Helen Wood so if I can't evict her yet then I'm going to assassinate her Goebbels.
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:23 PM #371
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Has Espeon chosen on Kenneth and Luke S?
Welp I thought I cut Steven

Evict Kenneth, save Luke S then
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:24 PM #372
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kk

i'll post my nominations when i am not busy
Perched for the noms in a few hours
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:24 PM #373
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Speaking of which: has anyone seen Kimberly's new lips

Like, no comment, but I'm convinced Leslie Ash hasn't done CBB
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:24 PM #374
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Welp I thought I cut Steven

Evict Kenneth, save Luke S then
It all got messy again and I couldn't tell who was when due to all the edits.
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Old 21-07-2015, 10:24 PM #375
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Welp I thought I cut Steven

Evict Kenneth, cut Luke S then
You can't do both

Lee Ryan teas
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