[Daniel-X]

Nevett Evans convicted of arson and murder after supermarket burns

Nevett Evans 70 today was convicted to life in prison following the discovery that she was person behind the fire at Will's Supermarket. Evans who was a regular shopper at Will's Supermarket burned down the supermarket earlier this week causing the deaths of Mike Cocksuck, Jimaha Timaha and Gina Dykefest. Nevette pleaded guilty in court and stated the reasoning behind it was that Doreen refused to sell her twenty nine bottles of gin.

Gina Dykefest was killed tragically after Maureen's collections of dildos fell on top of her trapping her in the fire. A memorial service will be held later today for all the dildos that were killed as a result of the fire. Mike Cocksuck was killed immediately and his last words were 'Suck me off one more time Beryl?' before dying in the frozen food aisle. Beryl helped with his last wishes. While Jimaha Timaha was so irrel that people even forgot she worked for her. It has been reported in Nuts magazine that Linda has already moved on when Linda posed for girl of the week.

The remaining staff at Will's supermarket have been transferred to a new Will's supermarket set in the nicest and poshest place in England....

Blackpool. (Wish them luck)