[kirklancaster]

There are so many things which piss me off about TV Talent show judges - their own LACK of talent in the field in which they're judging being one of them - and the phrase 'A Star Is Born' being another.

Listening to Simon Cowell the other night though, reminded me of a B.S. phrase which is the 'The Grand Daddy'of them all, and it is a phrase which is not only so cliched it ought to have been permantly buried years ago, but also one which shows up the appalling lack of knowledge of the judge uttering it:

"You are totally UNIQUE".

All TV Talent show judges love uttering this nonsense - from Simon Cowell, and Piers Morgan, to Howie Mandell to Howard Stern, yet it is just not true.

Elvis Presley was unique - a prototype - and as good as Cliff Richard, Billy Fury, etc etc, are in their own right - - they are NOT and NEVER will be 'UNIQUE'.

Donovan was good in his own right, but was a blatant copy of the great Bob Dylan, and even old Bob was basically a copy of Woody Guthrie and other folk singers who went before him - though he did put his own individual spin on it all.

It's the same with fashion - there is NOTHING truly new or UNIQUE in that industry either - all 'NEW' modes are but reincarnations of styles which went before -- with a little tweaking of course.

However, back to the abysmal judges on TV Talent shows.

The one utterly infuriating example of those overworked phrases "You're totally unique" and "There's no one else like you", came from Piers Morgan in 2008, when he told this to the group 'Scala' - an electrical String Quartet' of sexy, long-limbed young woman who had just performed a pop crossover version of a classical composition.

"Oh yeah Piers? Which music-deprived world have you been living in for the past 8 years?" I shouted at the TV screen as I looked across at my CD rack to the BOND albums in my collection.

Yep - 'Bond' are a an electric string quartet of long-limbed, sexy, beautiful women who predate 'Scala' by 8 years (5 in reality, but 8 as far as the ignorant and blissfully unaware Piers is concerned) but Bond do not predate them in some small, insignificant way - because by the time Piers was cooing his 'unique' nonsense to Scala, Bond were ALREADY world famous and the biggest selling string quartet in the world -- ever.

What twonks these 'judges' really are.

Here's 'Scala':

Youtube video

And the ORIGINAL - Bond:

Youtube video

[Liam-]

Scala <33

Did anyone ever really take piers seriously as a judge though? I love him and I loved him on the show, but he had no clue what he was talking about the majority of the time really

If this is an open question, I'd invite you to look at Louis Walsh' back catalogue of basic, mildly offensive, irritatingly overused 'catchphrases' to find true annoyance.

[Amy Jade]

Anything Bruno Tanioli says

[Locke.]

I didn't like it.... I LOVED IT!!!!!

[Crimson Dynamo]

Scala remind me a young Lenny Henry

[Kate!]

A ready made pop star

[Denver]

That was Phenomenal

[Marsh.]

"You remind me of a young [insert artist with the same hair colour here]"

[LukeB]

join us after the break

[Daniel-X]

That was the best performance I have ever seen for a week [insert number] performance.

Wait didn't you say this last year? I think usually think to myself

[Marsh.]

"You owned that stage!"

Usually Louis Walsh watching them walk around the stage a bit.

[King Gizzard]

Anything Louis ever said

Saying that I sort of miss him

[King Gizzard]

"Would like to see you move around a bit next week"

[Jason.]

(in Irish accent) "You've got the X Factor"

Louis Walsh would say this to every other act

[Marsh.]

"You made that song your own!"

Meaning they slowed down a dance track.

[Ross.]

Originally Posted by Nathan

"Would like to see you move around a bit next week"

By far the most annoying

[Shaun]

"I'm Caroline Flack..."

[Marsh.]

My god, I forgot about THE WORST!!!

"It's TIME....... TO FACE.......... THE....... MUUUUUSSIIIIIIICCCCC!!!!!!"

[Denver]

"I love you all but I can only take 3 with me to the live stages"

[JoshBB]

It's 100% a yes from me.

[Marsh.]

"I'm so sorry......................... [watches Lord of the Rings boxset] ..............but you're going to have to stay right here you're through to the next round!"

[Denver]

"It's a million percent yes"
"This is the easiest decision I've ever had to make"

[Natalie.]

Originally Posted by Marsh.

"I'm so sorry......................... [watches Lord of the Rings boxset] ..............but you're going to have to stay right here you're through to the next round!"

[kirklancaster]

Lord! I forgot just how many annoying cliches these dumplings come out with.

[BBfanUSA]

The Judges saying Yes all at once.