[Jason.]

Originally Posted by MB.

I think you'll all find that the real winner here is Alicia Douvall

tbh

[Macie Lightfoot]

14 ~ Kimmi Kappenberg
Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance (6th Place)

The entire resurgence of Kimmi Kappenberg in 2015 still seems like fan fiction so let me explain:

She originally appeared on the second season of Survivor and was a smelly vegetarian hippie who annoyed her entire tribe by sharing stories about masturbation, threesomes, someone's finger being up her ass, etc. A majority of her tribe tip-toed around her just to avoid being sucked into a conversation with her. She couldn't eat a pig brain during an Immunity Challenge but was able to eat a worm and still win for her tribe. She got in an argument with Alicia about the fucking chickens and the rate at which they were eating them. Her other tribe members commented on how she had dirt lines while other people had tan lines. She was voted out 5th was forgotten in pre-merge lore, but she took down the entire Kucha tribe with her because she revealed that Jeff Varner had received a vote against him.

I loooooooved Kimmi but thought that was all I was gonna get from her. She was a 5th boot from 2001 and she had no business being in modern day Survivor. SOMEHOW she was put on the ballot for Cambodia and due to the campaigns such as #GimmeKimmi and #Gays4Kimmi she someone made it on! (said campaign videos are embedded below)

Spoiler:

Youtube video

Youtube video

Unfortunately when Kimmi got on Cambodia, the editors did her dirty and pretty much wrote her out of existence entirely! That's not to say she didn't entertain because I still lived for her UTR fun moments like this one



idk why there are air quotes Kimmi only popped up randomly in the fifth episode to ice Monica because she thought Kimmi was catching too many clams and even late game Kimmi only popped up to make a half-hearted girls alliance after already rejecting Monica's it was so disappointing but Kimmi was still one of my favorites because duh it's Kimmi, and Cambodia was that awful. Yes it was, don't let anyone tell you differently.

So let's get to Kimmi's funale performance because it truly was an all-time great one! She secretly flipped on her allies Jeremy, Spencer, and Tasha and set out to get Jeremy out once Spencer won Immunity. Jeremy/Spencer and Kimmi had an epic square-off during Tribal Council, and after multiple deadlocked votes, two Hidden Immunity Idols, and a shady tiebreaker call, Kimmi was tragically eliminated in sixth place. Yes, it took all of that to get Kimmi out, and it still worked because the lovable Keith Nale almost sacrificed himself because Kimmi's a mom and she's waited fourteen years to return



and then Kimmi made the most out of her Final TC speech by delivering us this gif set



the whole Kimmi experience is still surreal, especially when you look deeper into her secret scenes and post-show stuff and learn that she was a legitimate contender to win! I don't know why the editors did her dirty, and it still pisses me off, but Kimmi was still able to shine in spite of her atrocious edit. We also learned post-show that Kimmi's speech made Spencer cry () and she would have voted for Abi-Maria over him because "if we saw him play as well as you (the viewing public) think he did, he would have at least gotten one vote"

k this was an obnoxious write up but I am a #Gay4Kimmi so what do you expect.

Clue for #13:

Spoiler:

another Survivor contestant

[Braden]

I have a bit to say about Kimmi and her appearance on Cambodia, but I'm currently packing my suitcase for tomorrow

I will say my piece in due course, but I'm so so happy she made this ranking <3 <3

[Pete.]

As if Kimmi is greater than Shirin and Mike?

[Black Dagger]

She is. I ADORE Kimmi.

[Dominic]

Originally Posted by Pete.

As if Kimmi is greater than Shirin and Mike?

Shirin and Mike are both overrated and not close to the top 5 of WA even.

Kimmi is amazing and underrated <3 Stephen making it is a bit gross, but I almost agree with everything else.

[Samm]

Kimmi was great in Australia, then in Cambodia she was good at the start slightly dipped near the middle and was the Kimmi I know and love by the end

but I probably would of had a more in depth view on that if the producers didn't edit her out for like 70% of the season.

[reece(:]

Originally Posted by Pete.

As if Kimmi is greater than Shirin and Mike?

Better than Mike but nawt Shirin

[EspeonBB]

I probably would have loved Kimmi if the editors didn't ignore her and gave all the spare time to Spencer despite her being a legitimate threat to win whilst Spencer was a goat and got less votes at FTC than Will Sims </3 But I still like her a lot (not more than Mike or Shirin though whoops)

[Pete.]

[Macie Lightfoot]

it was my first week back at work so if I wasn't working I was sleeping. Here's #13!

13 ~ Keith Nale
Survivor: Cambodia - Second Chance (5th Place)

yes, Cambodia was that bad that I think Keef driving the tuk-tuk is my fave moment of the season.

Sexism in Survivor is definitely a hot topic of mine, and I think that the voting ballot for Cambodia is really emblematic of how the show views men versus how the show views women. The women's choices were filled with ****ing nobodies and a bunch of bikini fodder like Natalie Tenerelli, Mikayla Wiingle, and Stephanie Valencia (I know she has fans here because she's ~fierce~ or something but no, she ****ing sucks), while the men's choices were filled wall-to-wall with obnoxious fun-suck strategists who got wayyyyy too much airtime. Like for real, Jeremy, Stephen, Spencer, Andrew Savage, Jeff Varner, Joe, Vytas, and Terry are pretty much the same person eight times, and that doesn't even account for people like Jim Rice and Brad Culpepper who didn't get voted in.

The point being, even though I didn't particularly like Keith in his original season, I was SO excited to have him on this season because he was literally one of two people not concerned about being hyper-strategic and giving boring "list of names" confessionals. And even though like Kimmi, Keith was tragically underedited, he was still UTRfun and was able to shine in spite of his lackluster edit.

I think I can sum up everything Keith did in Cambodia in one paragraph since he appeared in approximately five episodes, so here we go: he didn't want to participate in #Joega and gave a funny confessional about it, he had terrible hearing during the blind leading the blind challenge and it was hilar, he got drunk on a Reward and marketed his own taxi service by driving everyone around the beach on a tuk-tuk, he was set on destroying Joe's Challenge streak to the point where he was the only person besides Joe to risk not getting their shelter rebuilt just to participate in an Immunity Challenge, he has a wife that he calls "Big D," he attempted to justify bringing Kelley and Spencer on Reward with literally the worst reason ever and unintelligibly forgot Tasha's name in the process (this was on Day 33 btw), he nearly quit the game at F6 in order to sacrifice himself for Kimmi because she's waited 14 years to return and she's a mother of two, he continued to remain deaf as Jeremy tried to get his attempt at camp for some last minute scheming, and he tried to save himself at F5 with a fake HII but was voted out anyway

this probably doesn't sound like amazing stuff on paper, but it's all about the context. I've **** on Cambodia for literal months, but in case you missed it: it SUCKED. There weren't any well-developed characters, alliances started and stopped without explanation, storylines were built up and then abandoned with no resolution, the storytelling was flat out inaccurate and neglectful, the season was entirely too hyper-strategic and meta with Stephen going on and on about the evolution of the game and Ciera harping at people to MAKE BIG MOVES like the annoying shrill she is, etc. Keith was some of the ONLY relief to this relentlessness. He's not strategic, he's not particularly articulate, he's not an obnoxious "student of the game" superfan. He's just a normal person who is hilarious without trying to be, and he was one of the only people I could enjoy this season without any reservations.

It's funny looking back on San Juan del Sur because Keith was far and away my least favorite person heading into the funale, and then only a year later he was far and away my favorite person heading into the funale. I'm sure that if I went back and rewatched SJDS I'd love it even more now that I love Keef so that gives me even more reason to rewatch it at some point. Thx Keith!

Clue for #12:

Spoiler:

an Amazing Race team

[Braden]

re Kimmi: I loved Kimmi when I watched Australia for the first time back in April. She was such a character, and even though she was a random fifth boot, she still managed to come out of the season as my second favourite contestant (nobody was going to top Jerri ).

I started watching Survivor from the beginning, just after the Cambodia shortlist had been unofficially released. I was happy that I could be potentially watching Kimmi play the game for a second time. Out of everyone, the three people I wanted to see again were Kelly, Kimmi and Teresa (bearing in mind I was on Marquesas/Thailand by the time the final 20 were annouced). And low and behold, the #gays4kimmi did her justice But seriously, on a side note, is there a contestant the gays love more than Kimmi? I would love to know.

I'm not too sure how to articulate my thoughts on Cambodia Kimmi. I don't know if I was expecting the brash Long Islander, because obviously she's a bit older, and I knew she had two boys who she lived with in Texas. But funnily enough, I think the best thing about her appearance is that she'd matured into a lovely mother figure, but there were still glimpses of the old Kimmi throughout. Not to mention the fact that she had a great social game, to the point where she could have possibly won (I would love to know how things would have turned out had Jeremy not found his second idol). It wasn't all bad that unapologetic loud-mouth was rarely every to be seen, because it fit her Survivor story very well imo.

I think Kimmi is one of those types of people who, no matter what, I will always be fond of them. It does suck that she was so under-edited, but there wasn't a moment of her I didn't enjoy

re Keith: I was also not much of a fan of Keith by the time SDJS had finished. I got the appeal, but he just wasn't my cup of tea.

But yeah, I basically agree with everything you said in the write-up, and you explain it all a lot better than I would Keith was a much needed presence to a season which was full of boring, game-oriented people. It wasn't really necessary in a season like SDJS, where there were other great characters who appealed to me 10x as much as Keith did.

And the moment where he was an inch away from giving up his spot for Kimmi was so sweet

[Macie Lightfoot]

12 ~ Tiffany Chantell and Krista Debono
The Amazing Race 27 (4th Place)

alol they just look like TIBB favorites purely on aesthetic don't they? They were actually pretty gr8 though thankfully!

Tiffany and Krista were a fantastic underdog team. They're NFL cheerleaders and almost got eliminated in the first leg and nobody really expected them to do that much. They weren't really that good of racers and were near the back of the pack for a lot of the time, but they actually had a pretty good social game! Like, Tanner and Josh were ready to fall on their swords for them and only got saved because it was an NEL, and they were able to turn Justin and Diana against Logan and Chris to the point where J/D U-Turned L/C.

I don't know, TAR isn't really a show with a lot of substance so it doesn't lend itself nicely to write ups, but Tiffany and Krista were just a lot of fun? I wish I had a gif of them doing double dutch in the Netherlands because that was a lot of fun. Also when they had to get 100 <Polish currency> in donations and they were aggressively hounding the locals "you don't have a dollar? THEN YOU DID YOU PAY FOR THAT??? :\ :\ :\" Tiffany also gets MAD respect for putting up with the creepy Indian locals that popped all of her balloons during the Roadblock and probably would have tried to do some other stuff if there weren't camera crews and security there.

I can't possibly talk about Tiffany and Krista without their final leg because holy **** what a FANTASTIC episode of television. It was the penultimate leg, final four, one team was going home, everyone wanted Justin and Diana OUT, etc. So the Roadblock called for one person from each team to perform in ~the House of Dancing Water~ which called for them to climb up some giant ship's mast thing as part of some show, dive 30 feet into a giant pool of water, search underwater for a golden fish, and deliver it to the fisherman on the raft. However, if the music stopped and the show finished before you found your fish, you had to do it all again and it was like a 20 minute affair just to reset everything. So Kelsey, Logan, and Krista all get there at the same time and go in the first show. Kelsey and Logan are able to find their fish but Krista is stuck and has to try again. Krista tries for a second time but fails and has to go again. Justin and Diana show up, and Diana is able to find the fish on her first try while Krista is still struggling Tiffany gives Krista a fantastic pep talk and Krista eventually finds the fish on her fifth try (meaning that they were at the Roadblock for close to 2 hours) and they look doomed for elimination. HOWEVER, Justin and Diana broke multiple transportation rules and ended up having close to an hour's worth of penalties they wait it out while Tiffany and Krista are trying to make their way to the Pit Stop, Justin cries about what a disaster everything is, etc. It ended up being SO CLOSE but unfortunately Tiffany and Krista got to the Pit Stop minutes too late and were eliminated right before the funale it was tragic indeed, but the circumstances of their elimination were amazing and iconic and they're pretty much guaranteed to be on an All-Stars/Unfinished Business season so at least I can say confidently that this isn't the last time we've seen them?

and yeah this write up was pretty crummy and you probably have no idea what I'm taking about if you don't watch TAR but that's just the kind of show we're dealing with sorry!

Clue for #11:

Spoiler:

appeared on two different reality TV shows in 2015

[MB.]

I'm one of the people who doesn't know a great deal about TAR so I haven't got much to contribute on that front, but I'm glad you've updated this and I'll just say that I'm certain your opinions on Tiffany Chantell and Krista Debono are 100% correct and will be useful if I ever come round to watching it (spoiler: probably not)

[MB.]

And in regards to the clue, I'm a little sad you've already ranked Cheggers because nobody on his series of Celebrity MasterChef could serve raw meatballs like that man

[Macie Lightfoot]

11 ~ Jackie Ibarra
The Amazing Race 26 (7th Place)
Big Brother US 17 (10th Place)

Jackie is for sure on here because of her BBUS stint so let's get her TAR stint out of the way: TAR26 was a low-key trainwreck due to the Blind Date twist, where half of the teams were random strangers who never met and were matched up with the hopes of finding #TrueLove. Since terrible twists like this are just designed to fail, just about every team figured out after Leg 2 that there's no way they could possibly date each other. Jeff and Jackie were the one team that entertained the idea of possibly dating, and thus they received a pretty good MORP edit. They also like kissed once and had a kinda boring fight once? IDK, they really were a random footnote on TAR26.

And because Jeff and Jackie were the only team to not make the Blind Date twist a complete flop, production rewarded them by throwing them into the BBUS house this summer! Or maybe you can view that as a form of punishment, idk. Jeff got bounced kinda early and Jackie was pretty UTR at first. The show didn't edit her whatsoever, Chenbot shaded her as a floater , etc. This all changed in Week 5 when Jackie rose to power and was co-HoH with Vanessa in THE turning point week of BB17.

To recap the whole Dark Moon fiasco: it was the last week of the twin twist and Shelli/Clay/Vanessa/Austin/twins were running things. HOWEVER, Vanessa found The Reason to get rid of Austin and thus Dark Moon was born. Vanessa and Jackie came to an agreement for Jackie to be the sole HoH and get Austin evicted, and they made a F8 deal with Clay, Shelli, Meg, James, Jason, and Becky. Things went awry when Vanessa was the sole HoH, Clay ended up winning POV and Shelli was PISSED because Jason didn't cheer loudly enough or something, and thus Vanessa ended up backdooring Jason instead of Austin

the feeds post-Dark Moon were some of the best we've seen in years. James, Meg, and Jason were a tight alliance (ADC) and obviously felt betrayed, but they didn't really take it upon themselves to do much other than sit back and cry and wonder how it all went wrong. Jackie, on the other hand, was PISSED even though she didn't have any real attachment to ADC alol, and she was ready to raise hell. She ended up piecing together the Sixth Sense and was DONE with Vanessa and Shelli and all of them. Take this brilliant exchange for example:

(Jackie, Shelli, Vanessa, and Liz are up in the HoH Room. Jackie is fed up with their bull**** and is interrogating them as to why Jason's getting backdoored)
Vanessa: A majority of the people in the house agree with me.
Jackie: That Jason should go?
Vanessa: That Jason should go. A big majority.
Jackie: (immediately turns to Shelli and nearly gets whiplash) Are you in that majority?!?!
Shelli: ..........I don't want Jason to go but she (Vanessa) just said that he's someone who can win this game O_O
Jackie: ...a lot of people can win this game.
Shelli: ..........(visibly ****s her pants and babbles some more about how she doesn't want anyone to go home)

and from that moment on Shelli HATED Jackie The Jackie Ibarra Experience was THE reason to watch the feeds in the summer of 2015. She was edited as an MOR2 townsperson, but in reality she was the audience surrogate for all the people who were sick of the Sixth Sense's bull****. She became the hardest player for the ADC, an alliance that she was forced into more than anything. She clocked onto everyone's bull**** and was THE scrappy underdog. It was all so refreshing and unexpected and a necessary component for BB17.

After Jason was evicted we had another two glorious weeks where ADC took control and got rid of Clay and Shelli, but then unfortunately Jackie was swiftly taken from us in a Double Eviction it was such a rough ending because Jackie had so much unfinished business. Her story was incomplete and she never got to even shine in many of the episodes or anything. Oh well, maybe she'll complete the CBS trifecta and end up on Survivor 34 or some ****.

Clue for #10:

Spoiler:

BBUK person

[Pete.]

Jacks was a gem amongst dirt

[Ross.]

Jackie is an icon

[EspeonBB]

I loved Jackie at the time but in hindsight I think she was just fairly good and I would rank a few of the BB17 houseguests ahead of her

[Firewire]

jackie

[Macie Lightfoot]

10 ~ Jade-Martina Lynch
Big Brother UK 16 (11th Place)

best quote of 2015 y/y?

Jade-Martina Lynch is ****ing insane you guys. Like, her self-centered histrionics are textbook Makosi behavior. What a delight for real. Here are some things I love about Jade-Martina Lynch:

-the fact that she lives a polyamorous lifestyle
-the fact that she hates Catholicism and once pretended to be possessed just to freak out a nun for fun, or whatever the ****
-the fact that she is deathly afraid of balloons
-"Who do you want to go? I have two... BUT THEY'RE ONE "
-pretty much everything that happened in Week 2
-"NOOO I HATE HIM OHMYGOD I KNOW HIM I DON'T LIKE HIM" I mean anyone who reacts to seeing Marc enter the house like that has won over my heart
-her iconic baby voice
-"we're not a poxy prostitute *****house, this is a respectful show"

etc etc. I think some people don't really like Jade and I don't get it? She's completely crazy but also totally harmless, and that's the best type of crazy if you ask me. Oh well, her haters are just asking for her baby voice to be thrown their way so that's fine by me.

Clue for #9:

Spoiler:

another kBBUK person

[Pete.]

Justice for Jade

[Firewire]

Jade <333333

[Ross.]

Jade

[reece(:]

"Please don't question my polyamorousity"