[Lostie!]

Originally Posted by Jack_

I didn't say anybody was, it was a generalised remark...let's not go down this road again.

Both parties are not on the same level of blame in the slightest. One is in a relationship, the other is not. The only people responsible for maintaining a relationship are the people in it, it's their relationship and nobody else's. If you cheat, that's your fault and your problem. If you're the third party then yeah sure it's a bit twatty to go along with it, but it's not your relationship and strictly speaking as a single person you're entitled to do what you like.

All of the blame (or at least the majority of it) lies with the person in the relationship, it's not 50/50 by any stretch of the imagination.

I wasn't going down any "road"

And I'd just find it really spineless if someone would willingly go with someone they know is cheating and then turn around and say "Not my fault, not my problem". I wouldn't blame them any more than my partner (I agree that's nonsense) but I certainly wouldn't blame them any less either. Both people involved would have shown themselves have a pretty ****ed up moral compass as far as I'm concerned.

Unless the other person genuinely didn't know, they absolutely deserve to be judged for their part and I'll always stand by that.

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Lostie!

I wasn't going down any "road"

And I'd just find it really spineless if someone would willingly go with someone they know is cheating and then turn around and say "Not my fault, not my problem". I wouldn't blame them any more than my partner (I agree that's nonsense) but I certainly wouldn't blame them any less either. Both people involved would have shown themselves have a pretty ****ed up moral compass as far as I'm concerned.

Unless the other person genuinely didn't know, they absolutely deserve to be judged for their part and I'll always stand by that.

But the single party isn't responsible for someone else's relationship. I understand why people think it's morally wrong and makes you a bit of a dick - I'm not saying I disagree - but the bottom line of it is that the only people who are responsible for maintaining a relationship are the people in it. Conversely, you can actually end up in a scenario where the cheater can protest 'but they came onto me and I couldn't resist, I'm so sorry but they were really trying it ' and I don't think that should be used to either blame the third party more (which I know you've said you agree) or indeed just as much as the cheater. The two people are not in the same positions, one is single, the other is the one in the relationship.

Ultimately we're never going to agree on this though and it's probably for the best that we don't have an argument about it