[Hooly One]

And The Winner Is...


After enjoying their last supper in the House, the housemates took their turns at presenting the winners of the Big Brother Awards Ceremony.

And here they are...

Biggest Cry Baby: Shell managed to keep her emotions intact for a change while accepting the award, for which she saw off contenders Nadia and Becki. "I've been quite tragic, but I'm alive," she said in her acceptance speech.

Best-Looking Housemate: Dan accepted the award on behalf of Team Handsome's Stuart. Shell proved she wasn't bothered about losing, by proclaiming a heartfelt "jolly well done" to her absent housemate.

Rudest Housemate: Gone but not forgotten for his filthy mouth, Marco stole this award, for which he was nominated on the basis of his tendency to tell people to "******* off" at the drop of a hat.

Best Dressed Housemate: Nadia thanked her housemates, the public...and God, for having taken this award. And even Jason had to admit that she looked "fabulous" in a spangly black ball gown complete with what looked like a pair of pink marigolds.

Most Successful Rebel: Kitten couldn't accept her award, Jason announced, because she was "up a tree somewhere, protesting about a motorway being built". He was pretty sure, however, what the political lesbian would have said had she been present: "******* off!"

Yes... most vain housemate is meeeeee!!!


Most Vain Housemate: "It's MEEEEEEEE!" screamed Jason, as he opened the revealing gold envelope. Looking more pleased than anyone else would have probably been had they won this award, he proceeded to thank Big Brother "for having such fabulous mirrors and windows".

Greediest Housemate: Ahmed.

Most Liberated Housemate: Shell picked up the award, most likely on account of her fondness for doing most things (mowing the lawn, cooking etc) in the buff.

Laziest Housemate: Greedy and lazy - it's Ahmed.

Biggest Asset To The Group Award: Dan's mediating and hairdressing skills saw the big guy pick up this one. He theatrically thanked his psychotherapist.

The announcements over, the foursome cracked open the bubbly and kicked their heels to a few Sinatra classics.

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