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MB. · 08-02-2017, 07:38 PM

Personally what I feel this series would be missing is Jodie Prenger, Aaron Carter, Shola Ama and Howard from the Halifax ads

Shaun · 08-02-2017, 07:39 PM

But can we go ahead without Sally Jessie Raphael?

MB. · 08-02-2017, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shaun

But can we go ahead without Sally Jessie Raphael?

We could, but we'd be missing the winner

Ross. · 08-02-2017, 07:41 PM

The winner

Braden · 08-02-2017, 07:41 PM

What about glamour model turned minger, Jo Guest?

She deserves redemption.

Denver · 08-02-2017, 08:16 PM

How do you change to uk voting

Denver · 08-02-2017, 08:33 PM

it wont let me post but Cheryl Fergison won with Jim Davidson in 2nd and Basshunter 3rd

Denver · 08-02-2017, 08:36 PM

MB. · 08-02-2017, 09:37 PM

New cast photos added: Game Changers, CBB19, The Challenge 28, Dancing With the Stars 23, ANTM23 and, most excitingly, Big Brother Brazil 17

Shaun · 09-02-2017, 01:00 PM

YOU ASKED FOR IT.

After the runaway success of Roy Horn in CBB21, CBB22 hits our screens with the franchise's first ever infant Housemate. Mother Stephanie watches on from the camera runs!
Cast List

Week One

[BYE. I AM DONE. BYE.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Baby Davis and Teddy Sinclair

have the public forgiven her for the X Factor New Zealand?????
No Nominations!: Cesar Millan, Lee Lin Chin and Jay Aston!
Evicted: Teddy by 93%
[It turns out they haven't! Racist Baby lives on!]

Week Two

[It was inevitable that the woman who nearly ruined Hillary's marriage would gain the LT vote I suppose.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Baby Davis and Howard from the Halifax adverts

No Nominations!: Limahl, Sally Jessy Raphael, Su Pollard and Jay Aston!
Evicted: Baby Davis by 60%
[The baby receives immense boos after what it said about Howard in the diary room]

Week Three

[This is already the best thing I have ever done with my life]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Lee Lin Chin and Charlie Clapham

this would be a walkover IRL. Come thru, Brantsteele magic!
No Nominations!: Cesar Millan, Monica Lewinsky, Verka Serduchka, Lady Victoria Hervey and Jay Aston!
Evicted: Charlie by 74%

[God bless this website's ignorance of an old Australian-Asian woman's chances against an attractive Hollyoaks cast member in the UK]

Week Four

[This is quite a problematic series it seems]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Lee Lin Chin, Tonya Harding and Howard from the Halifax ads. This is turning into quite the house of racists </3
No Nominations!: Monica Lewinsky, Verka Serduchka, Grace Jones and Jay Aston (again)!
Evicted: Tonya by 50%
[Just as well, really, since I forgot to make an event related to ice skating.]

Week Five

[Starting to think that Phil Schofield might be reaching a bit, now]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Lee Lin Chin, Su Pollard, Brendan Sheerin, Lady Victoria Hervey and Howard from the Halifax ads
No Nominations!: Just Cesar and Jay this time. Seriously, being a member of Bucks Fizz is like diplomatic immunity.
Evicted: Lee Lin Chin

by 33%
[At least she took out the pretty boy from Hollyoaks first <3]

Week Six

[Su is BRINGING. THE. DRAMA.

]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Verka Serduchka, Su Pollard, Monica Lewinsky, Cesar Millan and Howard from the Halifax ads
No Nominations!: Just Limahl.
Evicted: Cesar Millan by 52%
[For anyone interested, his eviction music was indeed Jamelia's "Beware of the Dog"]

Week Seven

[Why are my faves fighting??? There's enough room for three style icons in this house!!!]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Brendan from Coach Trip and Howard from Halifax

No Nominations!: Jay resumes her place as the series floater, but is joined by Limahl and Monica Lewinsky.
Evicted: Howard Brown by 72%
[Good. I'm not losing a gay icon just yet (although I think there're still like 6 left)]

Week Eight

[He is Ukrainian, not Russian

ffs]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Lady Victoria Hervey, Verka Serduchka, Jason Gardiner, Sally Jessy Raphael and Su Pollard
No Nominations!: only Grace Bloody Jones <333333333
Evicted: Lady Victoria Hervey by 48%
[This is probably the most realistic result there's been so far]

Week Nine

[IT'S PERFECT AS IT IS, SALLY.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Sally Jessy Raphael vs. Jason Gardiner
No Nominations!: Kriss and Grace. The house racism has turned around.
Evicted: Jason by 66%
[Amazing decisions in this series]

Week Ten

[If this post doesn't win a TiBB Award of some kind, I just don't know what the point of making any more is.]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: ok basically everyone. Verka Serduchka, Limahl, Jay Aston, Brendan Sheerin, Su Pollard, Sally Jessy Raphael and Grace Jones.
No Nominations!: For the first time... n/a

Evicted: Jay Astin

by 40%
[The UK loathe a coaster it seems.]

Week Eleven

[Oh Monica...]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Monica Lewinsky vs. Sally Jessy Raphael
No Nominations!: Just Limahl this time
Evicted: Monica Lewinsky. By 94 ****ing percent. Good god.
[You didn't think three American women were going to make the final did you?]

Week Twelve

[I put in 50 ****ing events for this

stop reusing]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Limahl vs. Sally Jessy Raphael
No Nominations!: Grace Jones <3
Evicted: Limahl by 60%
[ok this is a perfect top six]

Week Thirteen

[Honestly. What did we do to deserve this legend?]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Kriss Akabusi vs. Sally Jessy Raphael
No Nominations!: n/a
Evicted: Kriss by 75%
[obviously TiBB would actively root for his eviction here, but I can't help but feel a little upset]

Week Fourteen

[I think we can call that a 'mixed reception', then]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Brendan Sheerin vs. Sally Jessy Raphael
No Nominations!: n/a
Evicted: Sally by 68%
[Her eviction survival streak had to end at some point </3 RIP you absolute goddess]

Week Fifteen

[I just...I...no words...]
Nominations

Spoiler:

Nominated: Brendan Sheerin vs. Verka Serduchka
No Nominations!: n/a
Evicted: Verka

by 56%
[Seriously, what a final three. What a final four. Five. Six. What a ****ing series.]

Finale

Series Popularity

[Can we just pause to reflect on the idea of Grace Jones, Su Pollard and Sally Jessy Raphael being the three most idolised housemates of the series.]
[It's also interesting that 4 of the most likely to be hated personalities are in the bottom 5 on launch night. God knows how Limahl is top.]
[The most popular event was Sally Jessy Raphael's quote to Limahl about Blue Ivy - it saw her popularity rise by 15pts.]
[The least popular event was Monica Lewinsky's domination of Week 2, accumulating a popularity plummet of 29pts]

Statistics
Most Nominations: Sally Jessy Raphael (38)
Fewest Nominations: Teddy Sinclair and Jay Aston (5)
Most Evictions Survived: Sally Jessy Raphael (6), Brendan from Coach Trip (5)
Never Up for Eviction: n/a
Highest Eviction Percentage: 94% for Monica Lewinsky vs. Sally Jessy Raphael
Lowest Eviction Percentage: 33% for Lee Lin Chin over 4 other housemates

MB. · 09-02-2017, 01:38 PM

<3<3<3

Su and Grace are the power couple I never knew I needed

Black Dagger · 09-02-2017, 05:40 PM

****ing screaming, the best one yet.

I genuinely have no idea what a Monica, Tonya, Jay or Cesar are though.

MB. · 09-02-2017, 05:43 PM

Educate yourself on Monica Lewinsky and Tonya Harding before you offend any more icons of the 90s Lucas

smh

Black Dagger · 09-02-2017, 05:46 PM

Oh like I know figure skating and where Bill Clinton's cock has been!

Black Dagger · 09-02-2017, 05:47 PM

Oh Jay is from Bucks Fizz, I'm not a very good Eurovision super fan am I. Oops.

Braden · 09-02-2017, 06:07 PM

Oh, hello perfect series of CBB.

Su and Grace <3 Sally surviving so many evictions <3

Shaun · 09-02-2017, 06:14 PM

the only downside really is that Limahl was the series' most popular male

MB. · 09-02-2017, 06:18 PM

I really should stop reading these things in public

Braden · 09-02-2017, 08:12 PM

I can definitely see Su being glassed at the wrap party.

MB. · 09-02-2017, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MB.

Survivor: Brains vs. Brawn vs. Beauty

This was slept on

Shaun · 09-02-2017, 08:52 PM

Yes I saw that when browsing the thread pre-Roy Horn and I definitely did a

if not a

Black Dagger · 09-02-2017, 09:15 PM

Did she win.

MB. · 10-02-2017, 12:15 AM

Piggy-backing off of Shaun's ideas and introducing...

Celebrity Big Brother: Old Stars vs. Even Older Stars (aka Celebrity Big Brother: Cocoon)

(basically the link expired immediately after I finished, so I didn't get to take a screen grab of the cast. Just use your imagination until you get to the placements at the end)

Old Stars - Angie Bowie, Ivana Trump, Jackie Stallone, Janice Dickinson, Ken Morley, Kim Woodburn, Lionel Blair, Rula Lenska, Winston McKenzie
Even Older Stars - Charo, Des Lynam, Elaine Paige, Judge Judy Sheindlin, Peter Stringfellow, Richard Simmons, Sir Trevor McDonald, Vicki Michelle

Don't get your hopes up. Really, don't.

Week One

You can take his life, but you'll never take his Ryan Gosling-based fantasies!

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations - Sir Trevor (duh)
Nominated - Vicki, Ivana & Janice (</3)
Evicted - Vicki Michelle (41.4%)
Well, considering she died in the BOTS brawl, she should feel lucky to have been here in the first place.

Week Two

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations - Peter, Des & Kim
Nominated - Richard, Trevor & Gyles
Evicted - Sir Trevor McDonald (41.3%)
Wow, what a rollercoaster that turned out to be </3

Week Three

Each and every one of these events is worryingly plausible?

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations - Ken, Des & Charo
Nominated - Richard & Judge Judy (</3)
Evicted - Judge Judy Sheindlin (67.79%)
WHAT THE FUCK BRITAIN.

Week Four

I'm... not sure why the men are getting all the events. Is the_truth writing this series or something?

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations - Kim, Ken, Ivana & Des (I guess that's what being the Diary Room chair does to you)
Nominated - Richard & Gyles
Evicted - Gyles Brandreth (56.48%)
Thank god Richard survived over the guy who's been dead since week one, eh?

Week Five

Now *that's* more like it. I've always said that if the son of God were ever to return to this Earth, it would be for Jackie Stallone (nice use of 'they' for Ivana, there. Muslim and gender neutral!)

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations: Rula, Ken, Jackie & Des
Nominated: Richard, Winston & Ivana
Evicted: Richard Simmons (38.65%)
Over Winston? The bendy parsnip dude? Really?

Week Six

Firstly, I'm shipping Kim 'n' Elaine. Secondly, I'm not sure why Jesus felt it necessary to return, but I imagine Jackie would appreciate the sentiment/ask him to get her some toast. Thirdly, I see poor Des isn't even being referred to by his name now that he's the Diary Room Chair. It's just "player 1" for him. That'll get him some pity votes.

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations: Jackie (get that Christian vote mama!)
Nominated: Janice & Ivana
Evicted: Janice Dickinson (60.31%)
AGAIN, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK BRITAIN. HOW DID IT TAKE US UNTIL WEEK SIX FOR A RETURNING HOUSEMATE TO BE EVICTED AND HOW WAS IT JANICE DICKINSON. UGH.

Week Seven

...I'm guessing Brantsteele is repeating these events out of protest for Janice leaving so early. Still, every little helps, Jackie.

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations - Kim & Jackie (well we've got to salvage something from this mess)
Nominated - Peter, Lionel & Ivana
Evicted - Lionel Blair (50.76%)
OH SUCK MY DICK BRITAIN.

Week Eight

Yeah, I could buy both of these tbh.

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations - Kim, Ken, Jackie, Charo & Angie (almost half the house???)
Nominated - Rula & Ivana
Evicted - Rula Lenska (60.26%)
Guess she really did need to get back to Desert Island Discs

Week Nine

I was going to quit this series until I heard the tale of Kim's night with Castro and the pig wanker.

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations - Kim & Jackie
Nominated - Peter & Ivana
Evicted - Peter Stringfellow (55.65%)
Well thank god for that.

Week Ten

Phi Phi O'Hara, eat your heart out.

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations - Kim
Nominated - Ivana & Winston
Evicted - Ivana Trump

(56.86%)

Week Eleven

I've already had to cut Ken's assless chaps out of this several times. I'd like to stop having to picture them, please.

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations - Kim (kween!)
Nominated - Winston & Jackie (I swear, if they mess this one up...)
Evicted - Jackie Stallone (73.93%)
WHERE ARE YOU NOW, HUH, JESUS? WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

Week Twelve

This Showgirls renaissance <3

Nominations:

Spoiler:

Nominated - Des, Winston, Kim, Charo & Angie (everyone but Ken & Elaine, basically)
Evicted - Des Lynam (34.89%)
Kim was scarily close to going there and I don't like that one bit.

Week Thirteen

Things always go a bit bonkers in the final few weeks I guess?

Nominations:

Spoiler:

No nominations - Ken (why???)
Nominated - Kim, Winston & Elaine (...I can already see where this is going)
Evicted - Kim Woodburn (49.92%)
I have no reasonable explanation of this other than all the Judy Garland fans getting together and taking their collective, petty revenge. I genuinely don't.

Week Fourteen

Angie's CP5 breakout

Nominations:

Spoiler:

Nominated - Winston, Elaine & Charo
Evicted - Elaine Paige (53.88%)
Bye bitch!

Final Week

Eh, sure.

Nominations:

Spoiler:

Nominated - Angie, Winston & Charo
Evicted - Charo (43.45%)
Worst series of all time confirmed?

Right, let's get this over with /gingerminj

Placements:

Spoiler:

I did lots and lots and lots of events for this, and I'm trying to remember some of the ones which didn't pop up. I remember Gillian Taylforth was to storm the house and demand to know why she didn't have a place in the cast, Jeff Probst was to enter and ask somebody how they spell the word 'you' in texts, somebody was to fry their microphone and serve it to their fellow housemates with a side of potato salad, two people were to argue whether or not Hamilton exists (BB8 Rihanna row-style), somebody was to start an argument with a stud partition wall and somehow still lose, at one point there was going to be a bondage-themed fashion show, somebody was going to steal the house's supply of oxygen Speidi-style, somebody was going to go on hunger strike after realising that Shaun left Shola Ama out of his most recent cast, somebody was to produce a Guinness poo the exact shape of US Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, 150 grams of coke was to be found in somebody's sock draw, somebody was to mistake WKD for blue rinse and get drunk by osmosis (<3) and somebody was to discover that Brandon Block was somehow still in the house after the producers forgot to collect him after CBB19. Basically, nothing good happened.

Shaun · 10-02-2017, 12:23 AM

ugh these events are spectacular <3

I wish I could remember the ones I didn't get to use, but only recall one which was almost identical to one here: only swapping "realises this isn't Desert Island Discs" for Strictly Come Dancing

I will do another one tomorrow but I've only settled on one housemate so far and that is the incomparable Tommy Wiseau. Oh Lynda Woodruff, she's in.

MB. · 10-02-2017, 12:25 AM

Lynda is #winning!

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