[Ronald.]

Hello forum,

A truly difficult question this morning .
I was out sweeping some leaves on my drive way when Moroccan Johan pulls up in his drive way next door . We don't have a lot to talk about - it's always small talk. I asked how his wife and daughter was . He looked very uncomfortable when I asked and revealed his daughter whose in her late 20s is now "on her own". He told me that she asked to move in with them to save money for a house with her boyfriend . He told her no and said if she wanted a house she would have to save by herself .

She apparently burst out in tears saying they will never be able to afford their own place. She asked for a loan and he also said no to that. It got me thinking about my own daughter and how I've helped her over the years.

Moroccan Johan appears to have stuck by his guns and the two have fallen out. It's a sensitive subject but I feel I will always help my daughter as much as I can provided I'm able to .

Forum, what do you think? Should parents help their children beyond 18 years old ? Or are you with Moroccan Johan and think the bank of mum and dad should be closed at 18?

Interested to hear your opinions as ever. Ron.

[jaxie]

I think it's natural to want to help your children whatever age they are though different families have different circumstances. I used to work with a lovely lady who helped her daughter a lot, getting in debt herself to do it and it felt rather like her daughter was taking advantage, she used to guilt her mum a lot and her boyfriend and her almost seemed to think her parents were cash cows. It may be that your neighbor has helped his daughter before but has reached a limit. It's really hard to say without knowing all people's circumstances and history. I'm not sure why the fact that your neighbor if Moroccan is relevant.

[Will.]

I think it's alright

[DemolitionRed]

I'm not sure why you felt the need to reveal his name and nationality?

There are plenty of parents who either can't or won't help their adult kids out. There is often what they consider good reason but sometimes its just a selfish act.

[Toy Soldier]

If it weren't for Moroccan Jo
I'd have been married a long time ago
Where did you come from, where did you go?
Where did you come from Moroccan Jo...

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by DemolitionRed

I'm not sure why you felt the need to reveal his name and nationality?

Well forgive me for adding a little context deary me! R.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by jaxie

I think it's natural to want to help your children whatever age they are though different families have different circumstances. I used to work with a lovely lady who helped her daughter a lot, getting in debt herself to do it and it felt rather like her daughter was taking advantage, she used to guilt her mum a lot and her boyfriend and her almost seemed to think her parents were cash cows. It may be that your neighbor has helped his daughter before but has reached a limit. It's really hard to say without knowing all people's circumstances and history. I'm not sure why the fact that your neighbor if Moroccan is relevant.

This really, or he might not approve of her boyfriend, it's never black and white

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

If it weren't for Moroccan Jo
I'd have been married a long time ago
Where did you come from, where did you go?
Where did you come from Moroccan Jo...

Very nice man. So is his wife . They invited us over once and we had traditional Moroccan food it was very lovely. R

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by Cherie

This really, or he might not approve of her boyfriend, it's never black and white

That is true cherie. I didn't want to pry. I didn't think of it like that . R

[smudgie]

We all like to help our kids out, but some of them take the p*ss.
Maybe he thought she wasn't pulling her weight or making enough effort.
Hopefully they will get past this in the future and get on with each other.

[MB.]

I reckon this is a case for Judge Rinder

[Toy Soldier]

My dad paid my rent while I was at Uni (which, to be fair, was in the region of Ł13000 over 4 years) but other than that we've never really had any help from parents. A few hundred pounds here and there when we were in our early 20's and really struggling.

In contrast, I'm at my inlaws just now and sister in law (21) appeared home from Uni yesterday afternoon and sort of demanded over Ł2000 to pay her car tax, car insurance and some of her fees for halls . To be fair to her, the reason she needs to get her car on the road is because she has a part time job offer that requires a car. But she doesn't ask, or even demand, she just... Expects, which I find a bit odd.

[Brillopad]

Originally Posted by Ronald.

Hello forum,

A truly difficult question this morning .
I was out sweeping some leaves on my drive way when Moroccan Johan pulls up in his drive way next door . We don't have a lot to talk about - it's always small talk. I asked how his wife and daughter was . He looked very uncomfortable when I asked and revealed his daughter whose in her late 20s is now "on her own". He told me that she asked to move in with them to save money for a house with her boyfriend . He told her no and said if she wanted a house she would have to save by herself .

She apparently burst out in tears saying they will never be able to afford their own place. She asked for a loan and he also said no to that. It got me thinking about my own daughter and how I've helped her over the years.

Moroccan Johan appears to have stuck by his guns and the two have fallen out. It's a sensitive subject but I feel I will always help my daughter as much as I can provided I'm able to .

Forum, what do you think? Should parents help their children beyond 18 years old ? Or are you with Moroccan Johan and think the bank of mum and dad should be closed at 18?

Interested to hear your opinions as ever. Ron.

I would help if I could. One of my main goals is to help my children as much as I can as it isn't easy out there. I want to help give them and their children a better life - isn't that why we usually have children. I get more pleasure from that than spending on myself.

I pay for my 20 year-olds college course, bought his car and pay his tax and insurance , phone - everything really while he is still a student because I want the best for him. It makes me happy!

[Jack_]

Originally Posted by Cherie

This really, or he might not approve of her boyfriend, it's never black and white

No but it might be black or white

[jennyjuniper]

I'd need more info before I could comment Ronald. Maybe he doesn't like her boyfriend? and hopes if difficulties are put in their way they will split? Lots of ifs and buts I know, butthat's all I know.

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by Cherie

This really, or he might not approve of her boyfriend, it's never black and white

Racist!

I'm saddened it's driven a wedge between them, that said she has a partner, there's no reason they can't just rent a small place and save up?
If they saved a little dad might be more willing to add to it perhaps.