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Old 16-11-2011, 12:14 AM #301
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Old 16-11-2011, 12:25 AM #302
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Old 16-11-2011, 12:55 AM #303
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Ive got a Christmas joke,I hope you like it.

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols.

This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly.

"Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet like this." was the shop owner's reply. Chet began to sing "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..."

The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with "Silent Night, Holy Night..."

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?"

"No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you."

So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned, "Jingle Bells! The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came, "Silent Night. Holy
Night..."

The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it." He answered, eager to please his wife.

So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, the little parrot sang out loudly (like it was the performance of his life) "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

What do you think of my joke?
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Old 16-11-2011, 01:02 AM #304
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i would like Buddy The Elf again.

If at all possible.
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Old 16-11-2011, 01:13 AM #305
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Good joke JF.
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Old 16-11-2011, 01:15 AM #306
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Good joke JF.
Thanks.
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Old 16-11-2011, 01:33 AM #307
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jedward fever View Post
Ive got a Christmas joke,I hope you like it.

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols.

This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly.

"Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet like this." was the shop owner's reply. Chet began to sing "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..."

The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with "Silent Night, Holy Night..."

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?"

"No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you."

So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned, "Jingle Bells! The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came, "Silent Night. Holy
Night..."

The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it." He answered, eager to please his wife.

So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, the little parrot sang out loudly (like it was the performance of his life) "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

What do you think of my joke?
amazing joke!!!!!!!!
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Old 16-11-2011, 01:39 AM #308
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Nathan [2]
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always cook meals, i did have chinese takeaways the year before the corona **** happened
but now not into takeaways anymore
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I would just like to take a second to congratulate Vicky, for creating the first Tibb post that needed chapters and a bibliography.
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Old 16-11-2011, 09:14 AM #309
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I want to be Christmas Neeve this year
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Old 16-11-2011, 10:30 AM #310
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N'aww, my name doesn't have any X-mas puns...

Quelle dissapoint.
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Old 16-11-2011, 10:41 AM #311
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N'aww, my name doesn't have any X-mas puns...

Quelle dissapoint.
Christmas Fairy!!!!



Wuv ya really
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Old 16-11-2011, 10:41 AM #312
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I want to be Christmas Neeve this year
I like that
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Old 16-11-2011, 10:49 AM #313
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Christmas Fairy!!!!



Wuv ya really
Cheeky... . I'd be a brilliant fairy though to be fair.
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Old 16-11-2011, 10:52 AM #314
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N'aww, my name doesn't have any X-mas puns...

Quelle dissapoint.


Black Christmas

Snow Dagger

Black Tinsel

Black Baubles (!!!!!)
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Old 16-11-2011, 11:37 AM #315
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Black Christmas

Snow Dagger
Black Tinsel

Black Baubles (!!!!!)
I like all these, well done Pyramid, very inventive

But I like Snow Dagger the best.
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Old 16-11-2011, 11:59 AM #316
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ukturtle- God
Firewire- Christwire
angus58 - King Herod
Sam - JayzusChroist
DrunkerThanMoses - DrunkerThanSanta
Pyramid* - Snowball
Locke - The Grinch
Doogle - Little Donkey
jedward fever - Bethlehem
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Ryan. - Ryandeer
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Niamh - Christmas Neeve
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Smithy - Jesus Christo
Josy - ~HO~HO~HO~
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Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate

Last edited by Benjamin; 16-11-2011 at 01:28 PM.
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Old 16-11-2011, 11:59 AM #317
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Kaz is letting us have them. Thank you Kaz!
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Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate

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Old 16-11-2011, 12:02 PM #318
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Yay !!!!

will it start on the 1st December?
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Old 16-11-2011, 12:06 PM #319
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Ignore mine then ben, I didn't want it changed anyway
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Old 16-11-2011, 12:12 PM #320
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Oh, sorry Smithy, I didn't see yours. I'll add you now.
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Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate

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Old 16-11-2011, 12:39 PM #321
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Oh, sorry Smithy, I didn't see yours. I'll add you now.
Every time you post the list you forget my name

~HO~HO~HO~
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Old 16-11-2011, 01:28 PM #322
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Every time you post the list you forget my name

~HO~HO~HO~
Lol, how did I miss yours out?
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Anyway there's an explanation and I don't really appreciate your tone. It's very aggressive so I'm going to close this, sorry for killing the internet mate

Last edited by Benjamin; 16-11-2011 at 01:29 PM.
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Old 16-11-2011, 01:29 PM #323
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Every time you post the list you forget my name

~HO~HO~HO~

You should be Ho Ho Hosy
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Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
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Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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Old 16-11-2011, 02:01 PM #324
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Santa Anton or Anton Santa...whatever sounds better lol
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Old 16-11-2011, 02:04 PM #325
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Santa Anton or Anton Santa...whatever sounds better lol
Santon?
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Katie Hopkins reveals epilepsy made her suicidal - and says she identifies as a MAN
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Just because she is a giant cock, doesn't make her a man.
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