[Pyramid*]

Panics at seeing the CCT bus pulling up. Goes into meltdown when she hears Bredan mention Cherry Flapjacks. Has no cherries. Has no clue how to make flapjacks.

Realises Nathan wasn't so bad after all and makes a telephone call to the run down burger van down the road, sending out S.O.S.

[Ultra Violet]

Originally Posted by Pyramid*

Panics at seeing the CCT bus pulling up. Goes into meltdown when she hears Bredan mention Cherry Flapjacks. Has no cherries. Has no clue how to make flapjacks.

Realises Nathan wasn't so bad after all and makes a telephone call to the run down burger van down the road, sending out S.O.S.

Was this Ulrika who was in a panic ... ? Those Swedes ... I don't know ...

She'd better stick to the bottled fish and meatballs ... pastry just isn't their thing ... is it ... ?

Anyone for a soused herring ... ?

[Pyramid*]

Originally Posted by Ultra Violet

Was this Ulrika who was in a panic ... ? Those Swedes ... I don't know ...

She'd better stick to the bottled fish and meatballs ... pastry just isn't their thing ... is it ... ?

Anyone for a soused herring ... ?

Josie did ask for this to be placed on the lunchtime menu, however, due to several BB11 housemates commenting on Eau De Poisson, Josie's request was denied.

Coolio, known his own culinary skills has offered to make Flapjacks, should they be requested. Good old Coolio. Always reliable in a crisis.

[Truth Teller]

Fun thread

[pices]

It was a bit of a problem, the poor old Ass was not going to budge, its cries were beginning to sound like a roadmans drill, most of the housemates had left as the stupid Ass was braying without mercy and no rehearsels had yet taken place.
Babycakes called for pyramid to come to her assistance, they had tried everything they could to seduce the silly Ass to its feet, but Pyramid was a smart cookie and thought that maybe the Ass wanted its mother.
So the secret she thought lay with finding the Ass's Dam and a quick call to its owner verified that indeed the Ass often found comfort in having her Dam close by.
Trouble was that the Dam and another hinny were currently touring the lanes towing Josies family up to the village to see her in the nativity, thinking she was to be the lead role, Poor silly braying Ass would just have to be hoisted through the rafters, providing they could get a crane in.........

[babycakes]

A gruff, unkempt woman in glasses and a baggy shapeless T shirt arrives, waving a rather smelly and grubby j-cloth. "Panic over, I'm here now and this is MY kitchen. I have a great recipe for Cherry Flapjacks. I make them with blood, sweat and tears." She does too.

The assembled customers mutter "Oh ****, it's Carole" under their breath, whilst smiling winningly at her and announcing as a group that she deserves her place behind the counter more than anyone else and all the other staff should donate their wages to Class War immediately.

[Pyramid*]

Originally Posted by babycakes

A gruff, unkempt woman in glasses and a baggy shapeless T shirt arrives, waving a rather smelly and grubby j-cloth. "Panic over, I'm here now and this is MY kitchen. I have a great recipe for Cherry Flapjacks. I make them with blood, sweat and tears." She does too.

The assembled customers mutter "Oh ****, it's Carole" under their breath, whilst smiling winningly at her and announcing as a group that she deserves her place behind the counter more than anyone else and all the other staff should donate their wages to Class War immediately.

Environmental Officers entered Coffee Shoppe, noting in paticular, this hazard known as Carole and prompty remove her from premises, allowing normal business to resume, with the safety of the more discerning, eating pulic now assured.

They also permanently deleted Cherry Flapjacks from menu, and disposed of all items that came within touching distance of Carole.

As a thank you, they are offered Honorary Lifetime Free Coffee and Batteburg cake Awards.

[Suze]

The twins skip hand in hand into the shop with something that looks like a pink colander on their heads, and Amanda asks for some pink coconut ice and a cup of pink tea. 'Squeeeeee, I was going to ask for the same says Sam, you read my mind' Pyramid obliges their request, making them a raspberry flavoured pink tea each with a slice on pink coconut ice on the side.

The twins skippy over to John James, and immediately set up a rapport about Barbie Dolls, which to Josie's annoyance

[Pyramid*]

John James pulls out chairs for the twins, all their pinkness and girly Barbieness, then turns around to Josie, telling her he doesn't give a rip about her annoyance, says his fondness for all things fake goes back a long way and points out to Josie that fakery and the squeeee factor are her bread and butter right now,and suggests she ram a horse sided pastry in her gob to shut her up.

*JJ then turns to the the twins to discuss all things Barbie*

Sam, ever the instigator, sips his raspberry flavoured tea and asks Josie if she still appreciates Barbie as much as JJ does.

[pices]

Meanwhile there appears to be a jam at the entrance door, well to be more precise its a cup cake, giant sized and well and truly stuck!!
Its the Lovely Rachel Rice, who has been asked to appear as judge for the local cake making contest.
She is pushed through the entrance by a drunken Rex, who it seems has never quite gotten over the dissapointment of losing the cake competition in BB9.
Rachel smiles, she did not want to be paid for her appearance but requested that they pay her with a years supply of grapes, actually a modest fee would have been cheaper.Rachel takes a look at the cakes on display and kindly requests which one belongs to Rex, he states that it is the one he made as a likeness to himself........Rachel immediately pins a rosette on a rater wobbly large pink jelly like penis, she scarpers quickly as she now feels that she can sleep once more having eased her mind that Rex would now be happy and **** about his cake fiasco.
Poor Rex, he was was fuming, Rachel had only pinned the rosette on Josie's new sex toy.

[babycakes]

Babycakes gives Alex a bottle of premium brand bleach and a substantial pay rise in appreciation of the shirtless moment.

She then calls the Police to have Spiral arrested for perpetual stalking.

Pyramid finds Josie sulking in a corner due to the removal of the Cherry Flapjacks from the menu, but can't resist mentioning what fun John James is having with Samanda and the plastic toys. "He better not be using my prize winning new dildo or I'll show it up his Aussie arse and make his crabby eyes water. I need that, it's the only chance I get to smooth anything over these days"

Roberto rushes in with a basket full of freshly made ciabatta and some delcious looking biscotti. The Italion Stallion saves the day (and we are not talking Mario). Ben immediately engages him in conversation, keen to discuss Puccini, Verdi and Catalani. Josies eyes light up at the sight of the biscotti, and all is well in her world.

[babycakes]

The Elevenpence Cafe was having an open day to launch their new "Phycotics Sunday" tea time menu. Bebegateaux was having such a problem with the recipe for the new Almond Cake. Everyone she tried it out on hated it.

[Suze]

Nadia walked into the shop in her new high heels, and had just got caught in a shower, so was soaked head to toe. Pyramid said she could dry off in the staff room and would bring her a hot mug of coffee and some Almond cake free of charge. Nadia tried the Almond cake and nearly gagged, 'Eww, darhlins, this is truely vile, sorry but I have to be honest, it is sooo bitter". Seems they couldn't even give the bitter Almond cake away, where did the recipe come from?

[Pyramid*]

Having spent the weekend on a Ghosthunt, the owner of the Coffee Shoppee had the splendid idea of finding a way to fill up that empty corner near the stock room was introduced. Psychic Corner after Psychic Sunday had been so well received.

A few of the more sensitive customers had complained that this one corner in particular had the most dismal aura. Changing the atmosphere was deemed by the landlord to be a good idea and Psychics Corner was borne. Complete with cystal ball, smoke machine, little hanging mirrors and almond oils to create a more welcoming serene corner, that currently was a dark, unwelcoming little nook. While customers had their fortunes told, those with the Power, would be able to see this special aura completely - even though the regulars couldn't. Hopefully it would be spirited away with those with the 'gift'

Spooky goings on which added to they mystery of the Coffee Shoppe.

What lies ahead for the Coffee Shoppe. Does it have spectres, does it have hidden secrets. Only time would tell. Incense was added to the heated almond oil, wafting enticing scents all around,hopefully it would help others to relax in this little santuary.

[honeydew]

Originally Posted by babycakes

The Elevenpence Cafe was having an open day to launch their new "Phycotics Sunday" tea time menu. Bebegateaux was having such a problem with the recipe for the new Almond Cake. Everyone she tried it out on hated it.

Sam Pepper found out about babycakes Almond bitter cake recipe, he insisted what was in the ingredients 'at last I can give some for christmas presents' he phoned babycakes for some more bitter recipes .....he he

[Suze]

Lisa ordered a cappuccino and two almond fingers and took herself over to John James and Josie's table, which was getting a bit full now much to Josie's annoyance as she did not like sharing John James with anyone. She placed her baseball bat close by, as she and John James had decided on a game later or sooner if he carried on the way he was with the BB women and men, and she needed to cart him off out the fire escape exit.

Lisa was practising her I can kill someone with two finger technique on John James Barbie dolls, which had him in tears and asking where his mummy was and could he make a phone call to his Mummy in Australia Josie picked snot from his nose, pecked him on the cheek and gave him a cuddle. She must remember to go shopping for more short trousers for him next week.

Just then there was an almighty bang as a table was upturned, and an almond cake on it's plate was kicked across the floor. Shabby then jumped on a table shouting and screaming who had nicked her hat .............

[pices]

Originally Posted by Suze

Lisa ordered a cappuccino and two almond fingers and took herself over to John James and Josie's table, which was getting a bit full now much to Josie's annoyance as she did not like sharing John James with anyone. She placed her baseball bat close by, as she and John James had decided on a game later or sooner if he carried on the way he was with the BB women and men, and she needed to cart him off out the fire escape exit.

Lisa was practising her I can kill someone with two finger technique on John James Barbie dolls, which had him in tears and asking where his mummy was and could he make a phone call to his Mummy in Australia Josie picked snot from his nose, pecked him on the cheek and gave him a cuddle. She must remember to go shopping for more short trousers for him next week.

Just then there was an almighty bang as a table was upturned, and an almond cake on it's plate was kicked across the floor. Shabby then jumped on a table shouting and screaming who had nicked her hat .............

ha ha, I love the two almond fingers

[pices]

It was at this point that commotion turned to utter chaos as Mikey from BB9 arrived being dragged in by a scruffy looking Golden retriever...........no wait thats the long haired one, no it was a yellow lab, looks like this motley hound had not had the proper training and was most likely a litter reject.Poor mikey seemed to have gotten a blind stupid dog rather than a guide dog.

Well in a second the yellow lab was on the almond cake like a fly round a turd, actually the almond cake did by now resemble something you would wipe off your shoe, no maners or ettiquette the mangy mutt devoured the remains of that particular almond cake, poor Mikey was distraught with embarrassment and wondered out loud if he should perhaps take the dog to the vets as it was becoming a bit of a handicap rather than an aid.......

[babycakes]

Babycakes purchased some rather tacky commemorative William & Kate china in the hope that it would take the customers mind of the travesty that was the bitter almond cake. "A cup of tea in a William & Catherine souvenir mug Ben" ? she asked as her favourite BB housemate sauntered in fresh from the ITV studios.

[Suze]

It was coming up to the Christmas season, and Pyramid and BabyCakes had been donated the use of the local hall for the week to host a Nativity play in aid of some Chairites, as long as they provided refreshments from their coffee shop for the audience and staff. They agreed to do so, but the hard part was finding some of the live props, like the baby and the Donkey. BabyCakes knew of someone who owned a Donkey they were willing to lend. It was old now, and a bit cranky, cantankerous/temperamental, it also had a bit of a limp so needed careful handling he told her. Oh dear, BabyCakes knew she would be able to handle the Donkey, but wasn't sure about the others in the play, they would have to be careful to play to its moods.

Many BB stars had agreed to be in the play free of charge, Josie had insisted that as she was of farm family stock and would have no trouble with the lame Donkey, that she would be a perfect Virgin Mary, and she would enjoy the rest from laying in bed to sitting on the Donkey. Babycakes wasn't so sure that was a good idea, especially as Josie's one condition on playing the Virgin Mary was that John James be her Joseph. Plus BabyCakes had already decided to offer the role of Joseph, to Ben, and he said he would like Corin or Laura for his Mary.

[pices]

After all the deliberation it was decided that due to Josie having put on too much weight.....(she had been constantly scoffing the bitter Almond cake like it was going out of fashion) Corin would be Mary alongside Ben.
John James had refused to be Joseph in any case because the promised Donkey turned out to be a rather large Ass......apparently the ass took a liking to him and kept trying to mount him.......and it was female....a bit of a randy mare really, to which he was a wee bit wary.

Anyways Ben was used to having dealt with a few asses in his lifetime and Corin was a far lighter prosect for the sad old Ass, though it did make some extraordinary noises, it sounded like what we may call verbal diarrhoea.

On the first day of rehearsals, the poor old Ass who was lame and a bit wonkey on its feet....sat down, peed a river and started hee hawing like a crazed banshee......what was to be done?.......................

[babycakes]

Problem solved - the Champion shot-putter who was wolfing down a triple sized greasy fry up at the corner table was drafted in to deal with the now very distressed Ass. She simply tucked the braying donkey under one arm and wandered off in search of the local petting zoo. The Ass could live happily with the flock of sheep, and the other assorted beasts on Animal Farm.

[Ultra Violet]

Originally Posted by babycakes

Problem solved - the Champion shot-putter who was wolfing down a triple sized greasy fry up at the corner table was drafted in to deal with the now very distressed Ass. She simply tucked the braying donkey under one arm and wandered off in search of the local petting zoo. The Ass could live happily with the flock of sheep, and the other assorted beasts on Animal Farm.

Would I be correct in believing that the steroid-bound female shot putter was drinking some special malt in order to keep her weight up ... ?

Then she would have to devour some schnitzel and strudel ... lovely hearty Germanic fare ... this cafe really does serve a varied menu ...

[Vodka Drinka]

Originally Posted by Ultra Violet

Would I be correct in believing that the steroid-bound female shot putter was drinking some special malt in order to keep her weight up ... ?

Then she would have to devour some schnitzel and strudel ... lovely hearty Germanic fare ... this cafe really does serve a varied menu ...

[babycakes]

No, I think the shot putter might be a Slav.

Pyramid came out of the kitchen, having been brainstorming with Jon Tickle. "We are to have a hog roast in the garden tomorrow night, in order to launch our new Christmas lights. Now who shall we ask to turn them on ?"