[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Cracker Dagger

Yes, but this is Kate's nativity so she can do what she likes with it. xD

(Isn't just making Kate feel better because I'm a lead role)

I'm the Star of the show

[Kate!]

There are usually kings, they are the ones who bring the gifts.

[Kate!]

ACT 2


NARRATOR: The new day dawns. Mary and Joseph rise early to set out upon their journey. Joseph has bought a donkey named Lady Lee from a local merchant, as Mary is now almost ready to give birth (!!) and wouldn't be able to make the journey on foot. The Journey passes uneventfully, however both Mary and Joseph are exhausted upon reaching Bethlehem.

JOSEPH: Mary, my little sugar plum, I think you should rest here with Lady Lee. I will try to find somewhere for us to stay, we shall make the return trip tomorrow.

MARY: You are so thoughtful, sweetcheeks. I will wait under this shady tree with Lady Lee.

NARRATOR: Louise Cliffe pops her head out from behind the tree and shouts "Stop using that word. I'm not shady!!!!"

MARY: Could have sworn I heard something......oh well. Here Lady Lee, have a drink of water.

LADY LEE: Neigh, neigh, neiiiiiiiiiiiighhhhhhhhhh! Brrrrrrrrrap.
(translation - I would rather have a double whisky)

NARRATOR: Joseph sets off to pay his taxes and then wanders around the town to the various inns and hostelries, however all are full up and there seems to be nowhere to stay. At one of the Inns, he hears loud singing...."We hear you knocking.....but you can't come in!". Joseph reaches the outskirts of town and approaches the last remaining Inn. He prays to God that he is fortunate enough to find a room for the night.

INNKEEPER: Good evening, young man. If you are looking for a place to stay, I am afraid all of our rooms are full.

JOSEPH: Oh dear. What am I to do? My wife is heavily pregnant, we can't possibly make the return journey tonight.

NARRATOR: Rosie, the Innkeeper's daughter, comes to the door.

ROSIE: Mother, what about the stable, stinks a bit but it is warm and dry. surely they could stay there for just one night?

INNKEEPER: Why of course, that would be fine. What is your name young man?

JOSEPH: I am Joseph Smith, a humble carpenter from Nazareth, and my wife is called Mary. We are travelling with our donkey, Lady Lee, if there would be enough room for the three of us?

INNKEEPER: Yes, we shall make do. Rosie will put some warm blankets and pillows in there for you, and attend to any other needs you may have.

ROSIE: (WINKS AT JOSEPH) I would be happy to oblige you, handsome one.

INNKEEPER: That's quite enough of that Rosie. Now, fetch your family and come inside Joseph, you must take some refreshment. My name is Miss Amelia Lily, you may call me Ammi if you like.

NARRATOR: Joseph and Mary enjoy a fine meal at the Locke Inn (see what I did there ) before retiring to the stable for the night. Outside, a beautiful solitary Star twinkles in the dark, inky sky.

"Twinkle Twinkle Little Niamh
Fame and Fortune you'll achieve
in the dark of night you'll shine
then get drunk on Rose' wine"

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, in the stable..........

MARY: I'm having the baby now Joseph.

JOSEPH: Super, smashing, great. Good luck.

NARRATOR: Mary gives birth to a beautiful baby boy and wraps him tenderly in a fleecy blanket.

JOSEPH: He's gorgeous, a perfect little angel. I'm so proud. His name shall surely be Jesus, as God decreed, but to myself I shall think of him as "Smithy". My bonny boy.

MARY: It's almost as if he is trying to talk to us Joseph, I know it's not possible, but I could have sworn he just murmured "Gaga". Bless him.

NARRATOR: Baby Jesus "Smithy" Smith lets out a huge burp and snuffles contentedly in his crib. He is dreaming of a beautiful woman with blonde hair, dancing on a stage.

JOSEPH: Try and rest now Mary, it's going to be a long night.

[Doogle]

Kate this is actually very entertaining, can't wait to read more.

[Kate!]

Act 4: Scene 2

.

NARRATOR: The Sheep look at each other.

BOY Reet, they've gone. Stop eating that muck. I have some Weed that Flossie from t'farm gave me earlier, she's a grand lass that one.

FLOY Cracking stuff! Skin up boys.

NARRATOR: The Sheep pass a happy hour indulging and chatting about the meaning of life.

LLOY I'm feeling very mellow guize, is that Star winking at me?

SEBASTIAN: No! Don't be shilly. now shall we have a shing shong?

FLOY Yes, shall we do the usual routine?

BOY Ok, let's do it. I want to go first.....

NARRATOR: The Sheep begin to dance frantically round the field and Boyd starts to sing.

BOY "I come home, in the morning light, my daddy says 'what you gonna do with your life'? Oh daddy dear, we're not the fortunate one, and sheep just wanna have fun".

"They just a wanna (baa), just a wanna (baa), sheep just wanna have fun.
When the faaaarming day is done, oh sheep just wanna have fun..BAAAAA!"

Youtube video

FLOY "I belieeeeve in miracles, where you from, you sexy sheep. I believe in miracles, since you came along, you sexy sheep".

"Where did you come from, Babieeeeeeeee, how did you know I needed eeeewe".

LLOY "aahhh, aahhh, aaaahhh, aaaahhh, aaaah, aaah etc, Uptown Sheep, you know I can't afford to buy you a Jeep, but maybe someday when my tractor comes in, you'll understand what kind of Ram I've been, and then I'll win....She's my Uptown Sheeeeeep, yeah".

SEBASTIAN: "It's raining Sheep, Hallelujah, it's raining Sheep, oh YEAH! Imma gonna go out, Imma gonna get wet...Absolooootely soaking Pissed Wet, It's raining Sheep, yer!!!!!


act 5 tomorrow

[Kate!]

Act 5 probably going to be posted on Monday now

[Kate!]

Thanks Dylan

More tomorrow. Wait till you read about the sheep! lol.

[King Gizzard]

The wisemen bring the gifts

[Kate!]

Why do they sing "We Three Kings of Orient are" then?

lol.

wisemen can't afford gold, frankinsense and myrrh.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jingle Bellend

The wisemen bring the gifts

Originally Posted by Ice Skater

Why do they sing "We Three Kings of Orient are" then?

lol.

wisemen can't afford gold, frankinsense and myrrh.

They've been called kings and wise men

[Kate!]

Originally Posted by Christmas Neeve

They've been called kings and wise men

Aha! Oh well, we have both in this

[Kate!]

ACT 3:SCENE 3

NARRATOR: The Angels have arrived at the Pearly Gates. God buzzes them in.

GO Hello Angels, nice to see you.

ANGELS: Hello.

GO Fantastic news, my son has been born tonight, I need you to spread the word. Joy and Patience, please go tell the Wisemen. Hope and Grace, find the Shepherds and let them know. Mercy, Faith and Bliss, seek out the three Kings of Tibbsynia and inform them.

HOLY SPIRIT: When you are done, you can go to the party. Have a great time, but no shenanigans please. I haven't forgotten the last time, when the Celestial C.I.D. had to be called. It was an embarrassment. Now, off you go.






ACT FOUR tomorrow

[Ammi]

..a cross between Charlie's Angels and the Seven Dwarfs......very good Kate

[Kate!]

Act 2 coming up shortly...........

[Jarrod]

AHAA! :'D This is Brilliant Kate

[Kate!]

thanks Jarrod I haven't quite finished Act two, bit more to type up, check back in a few mins when I have edited it

[Kate!]

Act three will be posted on Monday people

What are you liking most so far?

[Visage]

Ha ha !! This is fab Ice Skater.

[Kate!]

Thanks Festive Visage

[Josy]

Brilliant!

but I could have sworn he just murmured "Gaga". Bless him.

[Chuck]

I've just read both acts. It's brilliant, Kate

[Kate!]

Aw thanks Josy and Chuck

Chuck, you made a perfect Petula, and Josy, you will be making your Angel debut soon!

[Lee.]

Kate, this is fantastic! I love how baby Jesus/Smithy murmured "gaga"

[Kate!]

I like that bit too, couldnt resist, lol. hope Smithy likes it!

How do you feel about your donkey role?

[Lee.]

I love my donkey role! Lady Lee is such a good name for a donkey... plus I'm now the only female tibber that can claim she has been ridden by Ben!