[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by the truth

totally biased hetrosexual male hating drivel as always....zzzzzzz

the mother should have to prove exactly the same thing to exactly the same standard and the law should be exactly the same for both sides, that is equality , anything less is sexist lies and false propoganda

Hear, hear.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by the truth

the mother should have to prove exactly the same thing to exactly the same standard and the law should be exactly the same for both sides, that is equality , anything less is sexist lies and false propoganda

I actually agree with that.

[lostalex]

I agree that any woman who abandons her family, and contributes nothing financially should face exactly the same obstacles that fathers have to face to see their kids.

I don't think anyone would disagree with that.

The truth is there are a ****load more dead-beat dads then there are dead-beat moms though. That's just pure statistics.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by lostalex

I agree that any woman who abandons her family, and contributes nothing financially should face exactly the same obstacles that fathers have to face to see their kids.

I don't think anyone would disagree with that.

The truth is there are a ****load more dead-beat dads then there are dead-beat moms though. That's just pure statistics.

no its not....the law is biased from the start so every statistic from that point is perverted by the perversion in law.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by the truth

no its not....the law is biased from the start so every statistic from that point is perverted by the perversion in law.

I agree with that. My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship, he's a fantastic father but the amount of time and money he's spent over the years just trying to see his kids is crazy. His ex is a horrible spiteful woman who uses their kids to hurt him and she doesn't care if she's also hurting them in the process. He's been in and out of courts for years and the law is so unfair towards fathers it's actually heart breaking.

[arista]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I agree with that. My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship, he's a fantastic father but the amount of time and money he's spent over the years just trying to see his kids is crazy. His ex is a horrible spiteful woman who uses their kids to hurt him and she doesn't care if she's also hurting them in the process. He's been in and out of courts for years and the law is so unfair towards fathers it's actually heart breaking.

Thats Evil.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

I agree with that. My husband has 2 kids from a previous relationship, he's a fantastic father but the amount of time and money he's spent over the years just trying to see his kids is crazy. His ex is a horrible spiteful woman who uses their kids to hurt him and she doesn't care if she's also hurting them in the process. He's been in and out of courts for years and the law is so unfair towards fathers it's actually heart breaking.

..I agree, there are some very good, loving and frustrated fathers out there who would love more access to their children, but their ex-partners can use those children as a weapon to hurt them and make it so difficult..if then, say a father was to 'walk away' because he thought it was best for his child not to have to be caught up in a battle of bitterness, he would be seen in a bad light...I'm not saying this is always the case because of course every situation is different but in most cases it's not either of the parents who suffer the most, it's the child who unless there was abuse etc involved, would usually benefit from contact with both parents...

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by lostalex

The truth is there are a ****load more dead-beat dads then there are dead-beat moms though. That's just pure statistics.

I think this is probably because of how having kids works..the male CAN just piss off if he doesnt want one. The female cant. Yeah there are options..but its not as easy as just walking away for the mother.

I'm not saying this is true of every case, but it has happened to quite a few people I know..in relationships that seemed steady, got pregnant, man freaked out and buggered off leaving the woman holding the baby so to speak.

I agree with niamh though that there are a LOT of men who do want responsibility for their child..but the woman is an arsehole. We are sort of in that situation now with gavins ex. My brother in law is in exactly the same situation (court cases and such constantly, the girl doesnt even bother showing up half the time ) too.

[reece(:]

I'm one of those!

[lostalex]

Originally Posted by reece(:

I'm one of those!

And you turned out just fine!

...mostly...

[the truth]

the law simply has to be unbiased and even handed, otherwise this figure will rise by millions year after year and kids and families will become ever more dysfunctional unhappy and unruly....a good father is as essential to a childs life as oxygen in your lungs. Don't let these idiot spineless politicians convince you otherwise.

[Vicky.]

The thing is..the law cant completely be blamed for this statistic(about 1m not having a father in their lives fullstop). Yes, the courts generally award main custody to the woman, however its very rare for them to say the father cannot see the children at all. The problem of no access at all is usually caused by either the mother being awkward, or the father not wanting to know.

[fruit_cake]

it seems to me that most of those million children are growing up without a father because their father disappeared, and has little to do with the courts in the vast majority of cases anyway.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by fruit_cake

it seems to me that most of those million children are growing up without a father because their father disappeared, and has little to do with the courts in the vast majority of cases anyway.

complete and utter generalized sexist biased nonsense

[Marsh.]

If your proof is so easily obtained why aren't you providing it?

[Kizzy]

Unmarried parents have a rough time, when a couple divorce the children are discussed and in the main provisions made for them to have reasonable access to both parents.
This is not the case for unmarried couples, many are left in a no mans land with little help support or advice.
I would like legal aid to be available for all fathers to assist in mediating contact, for too long the onus has been on financial contribution.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Unmarried parents have a rough time, when a couple divorce the children are discussed and in the main provisions made for them to have reasonable access to both parents.
This is not the case for unmarried couples, many are left in a no mans land with little help support or advice.
I would like legal aid to be available for all fathers to assist in mediating contact, for too long the onus has been on financial contribution.

mhhmm, absolutely. An unmarried father isn't even legal guardian to his own child, even if his name is on the birth cert. He has to either get the mothers permission to be appointed legal guardian or (as in my husbands case) if she refuses he has to go through the courts to make it so, which costs alot of money, not to mention lost earnings for having to take time off work to do it too.

What's annoying is his ex was entitled to free legal aid but he wasn't and she actually told a mutual friend of theirs that she didn't care how often he had to take her to court cos it wasn't costing her a penny

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

mhhmm, absolutely. An unmarried father isn't even legal guardian to his own child, even if his name is on the birth cert. He has to either get the mothers permission to be appointed legal guardian or (as in my husbands case) if she refuses he has to go through the courts to make it so, which costs alot of money, not to mention lost earnings for having to take time off work to do it too.

What's annoying is his ex was entitled to free legal aid but he wasn't and she actually told a mutual friend of theirs that she didn't care how often he had to take her to court cos it wasn't costing her a penny

This is exactly the case with my sisters partners ex. They have been to court maybe 10 times now..The girl has only shown up twice and no agreement was reached. Surely after so many no shows..it would prove to the court that she doesnt give a **** and they would just grant access in her absence? Its costing my sister a fortune as they have to pay a lawyer at each no show

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

This is exactly the case with my sisters partners ex. They have been to court maybe 10 times now..The girl has only shown up twice and no agreement was reached. Surely after so many no shows..it would prove to the court that she doesnt give a **** and they would just grant access in her absence? Its costing my sister a fortune as they have to pay a lawyer at each no show

But they don't do anything about it, Gavs daughter is 17 now, so he's been in and out of there so many times, i remember one time she took him to court looking for more maintenance, (she doesn't work at all herself and her kids are in school) Gav showed his earnings to the judge and said he couldn't afford to pay anymore and the judge told him "I suggest you some overtime" That's what you have to deal with, no sign of the judge telling her to get off her lazy ass and find a job