[Z]

Originally Posted by MTVN

I would say that when you've gone out for a meal that's the logical time to have your weekly glass of wine though

That's from her point of view - the barman sees a heavily pregnant woman asking for a glass of wine and immediately has alarm bells ringing. Bar staff hear all sorts of excuses for why a person "is fine to be drinking" and if they've decided they're not going to serve someone, that is up to them. I think perhaps she only feels humiliated because she has something to be ashamed of - that she can't abstain from alcohol; and not because she was "humiliated" by being refused.

[MTVN]

Originally Posted by Zee

That's from her point of view - the barman sees a heavily pregnant woman asking for a glass of wine and immediately has alarm bells ringing. Bar staff hear all sorts of excuses for why a person "is fine to be drinking" and if they've decided they're not going to serve someone, that is up to them. I think perhaps she only feels humiliated because she has something to be ashamed of - that she can't abstain from alcohol; and not because she was "humiliated" by being refused.

Don't really think having a small glass of wine when out is proof of being unable to abstain from alcohol, it's just very much a part of being out for a meal. If he really had concerns he could have at least asked her politely if she was ok to be drinking at which point she could explain that's it's considered fine to have one small glass a week, she is going to have more knowledge and awareness than him of the subject after all

[Z]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Don't really think having a small glass of wine when out is proof of being unable to abstain from alcohol, it's just very much a part of being out for a meal. If he really had concerns he could have at least asked her politely if she was ok to be drinking at which point she could explain that's it's considered fine to have one small glass a week, she is going to have more knowledge and awareness than him of the subject after all

Yeah but he's a barman, he has no way of knowing if this is her only drink of the day/week/last 9 months. For all he knows this is a woman who spends all day every day drinking despite being pregnant and evidently he didn't want to be involved in any potential problems. Why would he ask her? As Caitlin said, and I have been saying, most people, especially men, aren't really clued up about pregnancy because it's not something we go through personally.

If he refused service to someone who was blind drunk and they felt "humiliated" about being denied service, people wouldn't be against the barman; but because it's a pregnant woman people are getting all uppity about it... personally I think that you shouldn't be putting anything into your body that will intoxicate you if you're carrying a baby. The barman clearly feels the same way. The pregnant woman knows more than either of us and she feels differently - and that's fine, if she wants to have her glass of wine a week in the comfort of her own home then that's fine, but having it with dinner in a restaurant is naturally going to raise eyebrows not just from the bar staff but from people in the restaurant too.

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by Zee

I agree with the barman, it's general knowledge that pregnant women shouldn't be smoking or drinking. Only a pregnant woman is going to know that it's okay to have a small glass of wine every now and then (I didn't know that until I read this) and seeing as she's nine months pregnant it's not like the barman could ignore the fact she was pregnant. I would have done the exact same thing - I wouldn't want to be knowingly giving alcohol to a pregnant woman - how am I supposed to know this is her one and only drink of the week and that it's not damaging to an unborn child? I've heard of foetal alcohol syndrome, I haven't heard her wisdom that it's fine for a baby every now and then...

Basically think she's being massively hysterical over something that she must know that most people have been taught that smoking and drinking are bad for unborn children. Have your glass of wine at home. You're nearly about to give birth, I'm sure you can go another week or two without having wine in a bar/restaurant.

This.

[Tom4784]

It's the barman's right to deny service, he had no way of knowing her drinking habits beforehand so he opted to make a decision. This story is pretty much open and shut as far as things go.

[Scarlett.]

I think they guy was right in what he was doing, if he served her alcohol, he could have opened himself up to blame ect.

[MeMyselfAndI]

Completely agree with him - good for him & welldone!!!

[Ninastar]

Agree with zee. If something were to happen to the baby (even non alcohol related, possibly...) he could feel extremely guilty and blame himself

[Shaun]

*also read Batman *

Originally Posted by Ninastar

Agree with zee. If something were to happen to the baby (even non alcohol related, possibly...) he could feel extremely guilty and blame himself

If he were the father I'd agree, but he's nothing to do with the customer and shouldn't be restricting service because he thinks it's best. Just doesn't make sense to me. Patronising busy-bodiness.

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Shaun

If he were the father I'd agree, but he's nothing to do with the customer and shouldn't be restricting service because he thinks it's best. Just doesn't make sense to me. Patronising busy-bodiness.

I can see why you'd think that, but I still think it was right of him to do so. I personally think it's wrong to drink that far along into the pregnancy.

This may be sexist of me, but I imagine women to be a lot more informed about drinking while pregnant then men. Most people know it's best to avoid drink all together. But if you look it up, (as I have just done) it states "we recommend they should not drink more than 1-2 units once or twice a week and should not get drunk".

How is he to know that she hasn't been drinking every night that week? Fair enough if she wants to do damage to her own body, I'm sure he'd let her get away with that, but he was looking out for an unborn child. And personally, I think he's perfectly okay to do so. Judgemental and patronising he may be, but at least he can rest and know he didn't do anything himself to cause damage to a life that doesn't really have an option....

[Glenn.]

Originally Posted by Smithy

I thought the title said batman and i got really confused

Originally Posted by Ammi

..Haahhhhhhhhh, I did exactly the same when I first saw the story....

Originally Posted by Shaun

*also read Batman *

Same

Good on him I say.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Shaun

*also read Batman *



If he were the father I'd agree, but he's nothing to do with the customer and shouldn't be restricting service because he thinks it's best. Just doesn't make sense to me. Patronising busy-bodiness.

[Smithy]

I thought the title said batman and i got really confused

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Smithy

I thought the title said batman and i got really confused

..Haahhhhhhhhh, I did exactly the same when I first saw the story....

[GypsyGoth]

I think he's providing a substance that can cause damage.

And it seems like he erred on the side of caution.

[MeMyselfAndI]

Exactly, I don't like this 'Why should you give a ****, you're not related/know them', He doesn't want to be in anyway responsible for giving a pregnant lady alcohol which is not 'safe'.

[Ammi]

..I do think it's a bit of a difficult one this because he doesn't have the right to judge her, but he does have the right to refuse anyone that he doesn't feel comfortable serving for whatever reason...

[joeysteele]

We hear a fair bit as to possibly irresponsible bar staff who serve alcohol to people they maybe shouldn't.
I think he showed some initiative in refusing to serve her it because she was pregnant.

I do think though, she is entitled to make the choice to drink while pregnant even though medically she would be likely be advised not to.
I think on balance, I lean slightly more towards his corner than hers though

[Ninastar]

If you go on the nhs website where I got my quote from, it pretty much says to avoid drink all together... I know the odd glass does the baby no harm, but still I wouldn't serve a 9 month pregnant woman some wine either.

[Kyle]

Originally Posted by Ninastar

If you go on the nhs website where I got my quote from, it pretty much says to avoid drink all together... I know the odd glass does the baby no harm, but still I wouldn't serve a 9 month pregnant woman some wine either.

I'm not a woman but that's pretty much how I see it. 1 unit, 2 unit nah just stop altogether for 9 months I'm sure you'll need all the drink in the world once you've popped the little blighter out but for the duration of the pregnancy why not just cut it out altogether?

[Kizzy]

Well I've heard it all now.... some div in a bar decides it's morally reprehensible to serve 125ml of wine to a pregnant woman
Lordy....

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Well I've heard it all now.... some div in a bar decides it's morally reprehensible to serve 125ml of wine to a pregnant woman
Lordy....

Yeah, I wouldn't describe him as a div, he is covering his back.

[MeMyselfAndI]

Whatever, he was really sensible, careful and took no risks, which is a very smart thing to do with a woman who is 9 months pregnant, why take a risk? I certainly wouldn't describe him as a 'div'

[Kizzy]

I would, or a fool...
He had no idea what effects 125ml of alcohol would have on a child in the third trimester, absolutely pathetic.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I would, or a fool...
He had no idea what effects 125ml of alcohol would have on a child in the third trimester, absolutely pathetic.

What I find pathetic is her attempt at making a big deal out of it. If she is so desperate for a wine then have one at home. It may be her right to drink if she wants but it is also his right to be responsible and keep himself out of trouble in a job that keeps a roof over his head. like I said, we no longer live in a 'care-free' day and age, we live in a world where one mistake and you will be sued.