[Stu]

Originally Posted by anniek76

Completely agree....I have 2 13 week old kittens, they are hilarious and seriously naughty but company for each other too...

Enjoy them at their most energetic now! My two are about a year and a half each and just sleep for 18 hours a day, only raising their head when they hear a tin of tuna opening. Which is often in my digs.

They used to always play like crazy now they just lumber about looking a bit monged. I love them all the same.

But yeah your house is basically never dull with them. You could watch them like television. I can't do that with dogs.

[fingers]

As long as you have Kitty Litter and the cats know what it's for you have no worries, but going away on holiday will need proper planning!

[Me. I Am Salman]

cats > dogs, dogs are so unclean

I'd move out if something ****ted on my floor, I almost vomited when I watched a cleaning programme the other day where a man had old dog faeces in his bedroom near his clothes

[fingers]

You can't leave a dog or dogs alone for 12 hours.

[mizzy25]

dogs are not unclean if they are looked after and taken out regularly or let in the garden but Id say they need more attention than cats.

[Stu]

[Me. I Am Salman]

I wish I had a pet my older brothers had a cat called Tony before I was born

[mizzy25]

Theres actually a doggy day care cente opened up on the industrial estate near where I live, its called the mutz hutz and u can leave your dog there whilst your @ work lol ive got 7 mind so they would have their hands full with mine lol

[Nemo123]

Originally Posted by Conzors

I recently just moved into my own flat (which is rare for a 20 year old) and living on my own and its quite away from everyone i know (by this, i mean just under an hour on the bus, and a half hour car journey) but all my friends work full time and that.

I have never felt so lonely or on my own. I thought i'd like living out and having my own space when really all i want is to come home and everyone to annoy me - atleast id have been surrounded by people.

I like it for the most part, coming home - cooking what i want for dinner and that, but then the other part of me wonders if i've taken all these adult things on too soon in my life. Im a manager in a store which is already a big responsibility and then to have to live on your own and worry about bills and food (which leaves me broke) with the added stress of finding time and money to see your friends and family (which i hardly see) is just getting a bit too much!

Any advice on how to deal with this better?

What about you?
Anyone else thing they've grown up a bit fast and how have you dealt with it?
Anyone like living alone or not?

xxx

Go home, if it's an option. At 20 you're too young to be moving out in your circumstances. Your parents will welcome you back with loving arms. Move out on your own terms when you want to and when you're ready.

[Kizzy]

They still need feeding, cleaning up after though it's like having a kid really. He couldn't just decide to take time off and stay at his mums or go to a festival..
Living on your own you have independence, a pet removes that somewhat I think

[Conzors]

Thanks for all of these!
It would be unfair on any pet as im away so often and that but a great suggestion
Im fine during the day its just when i come home and im alone and i have all this housework to do, this washing to do the bills to pay.

I mean i will get used to it but it'll take time

Appreciate them all
xxxxxx

[Verbal]

Originally Posted by Conzors

Thanks for all of these!
It would be unfair on any pet as im away so often and that but a great suggestion
Im fine during the day its just when i come home and im alone and i have all this housework to do, this washing to do the bills to pay.

I mean i will get used to it but it'll take time

Appreciate them all
xxxxxx

Welcome to being a grown up

[Kizzy]

Set up standing orders for the bills, and don't let the mess build up keep on top of it then it doesn't get overwhelming.
You might get surprise guests
Have you been out tonight it's halloween weekend, are there any unis near you? socialise boy!

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by Conzors

Thanks for all of these!
It would be unfair on any pet as im away so often and that but a great suggestion
Im fine during the day its just when i come home and im alone and i have all this housework to do, this washing to do the bills to pay.

I mean i will get used to it but it'll take time

Appreciate them all
xxxxxx

You'll be fine. Just make sure you do socialize as well as work.

[Conzors]

Originally Posted by Ammi

..really, Connor..just what Stu saidapart from the tuna sandwiches, don't be seduced by those, they're terrible things...maybe go home for a nice stew/roast dinner instead...it's hard/strange at any age and many people leave home either to move in with someone..a partner/friend etc..so that makes it a little easier, although it's still a 'tear' from the home sort of thing...or they go to uni etc and then there are many others in the same situation and they're surrounded by people..but you've done it and are on your own...that's a huge step and not a 'gradual' step either...so what you're feeling now is really natural but it felt completely right to you...and you've done so well to have the job that you do at your age, so be proud of yourself...I think maybe it would help and be a good idea to be able to get out socially and meet people..new friends to add to your circle...and to do that, you might have to think about money and whether you can afford to go out..so, possibly sharing accommodation would be an option and make you feel a little less lonely as well...just make sure you don't share a house/flat with a looney lol...but seriously, think about what Stu said and being around people, rather than on your own if that's possible..and trying to absorb yourself in things that interest you as well....

..well done btw, Connor..your parents must be really proud of you...do TiBB members get a discount at your shop..?...



.......

Originally Posted by Germyle

Ok I'm back.

You really should stick it out for a while longer and see how you feel, if you're still feeling unhappy then move back home. Independance is a stage we all reach but not at the same time. Btw fair play to you being a manager at 20 years old, that's pretty amazing

Originally Posted by Zee

Genuinely think getting a pet would cheer you up so much Conor, good suggestion Tom! Something to look after and cuddle when you're at home! Maybe not if you feel that you're out of the flat for too long every day, but it's an idea!

I've lived in all sorts of situations since I left home aged 18... I've lived in student halls with friends; I've shared a flat with two guys; I've lived with an elderly woman; I've lived with a family; I've lived with strangers in a foreign country; I've shared a flat with two girls; and currently I'm living in a flat with four strangers - I have my own bedroom and bathroom and we share a kitchen. Loneliness is something I've struggled with ever since I left home - but I find that the living situation I have now is probably the best - my space is my space, I don't really have much to do in the way of dishes or chores and everyone keeps to themselves.

Maybe you could look into some kind of hobby that you could do at the weekends? It's hard to learn how to meet people when you're an adult - at school you make friends because you're put together with people in classes and when you're young you just decide that someone's your friend if they have the same lunchbox as you. As an adult, it's hard to do things by yourself because you're afraid of being judged, but if you don't do things by yourself then you will continue to be by yourself, because how can you meet anyone if you don't get yourself out there?

Last night I went out to a club by myself - I really wanted to go out and my friend said he would be there, but he didn't show up so I was walking past the club and the PR people asked if I wanted to go in and I ended up having the time of my life, the PR guy actually came in and introduced me to some people he knew because I said I was worried I wouldn't know anyone but I really, really wanted to go. He didn't have to do that for me, and I'm grateful; but he would never have done that for me if I hadn't asked.

I think you just need to put yourself into new situations where you will meet people and make friends with them. It's hard to do it as an adult, but it is doable!!

Originally Posted by Kizzy

I think the pet is a terrible idea sorry, you would be tied to the flat and wouldn't be able to accept any spontaneous invites out/away.
How many holidays do you have, can you just take the odd couple of days and say a month in advance plan to do things with friends/fam?
That way you're seeing people, it's organised quality time and you have something to look forward to.
Well done your career is going well, friendships will come, stay positive x

Originally Posted by Kizzy

They still need feeding, cleaning up after though it's like having a kid really. He couldn't just decide to take time off and stay at his mums or go to a festival..
Living on your own you have independence, a pet removes that somewhat I think

Originally Posted by Kizzy

Set up standing orders for the bills, and don't let the mess build up keep on top of it then it doesn't get overwhelming.
You might get surprise guests
Have you been out tonight it's halloween weekend, are there any unis near you? socialise boy!

i met people that live inr the house opposite but i dont wanna feel like im bugging them

[MTVN]

Part of me quite likes the idea of living alone, always like being the only one in the house (like I am now staying in while my housemates have gone out for Halloween ) but I reckon id get bored of it after a while and get stuck in a rut where I end up never getting round to meeting up with people and stuff

[Vanessa]

Originally Posted by MTVN

Part of me quite likes the idea of living alone, always like being the only one in the house (like I am now staying in while my housemates have gone out for Halloween ) but I reckon id get bored of it after a while and get stuck in a rut where I end up never getting round to meeting up with people and stuff

I love alone and I love it. I can do what I want. Most of my friends are from work and we meet once a week to go out.

[Kizzy]

Do you not see workmates socially? I would bite the bullet and go out alone like zee said, if you feel safe to do that where you live.
Do you have the neighbours on fb, if you put 'we're off to (club) anyone out' maybe they would meet up?
You can always say you lost your mates or they pulled lol!

[T*]

Yay my idea was applauded

[joeysteele]

Hi Conzors, above you multi quoted posts from Ammi, Zee,Germyle and Kizzy that all have good advice in them.

I have never lived alone although have been away from home at Uni. I managed to share a house with 4 others so had company when I wanted it and when I wanted to be alone was able to do that too.
Since finishing Uni but doing some work now,I remained in the house we all shared with 2 others so again not alone so advising someone who feels a bit lost as you seem to feel at present is something I would be unwise to do.

All I will say is you have taken an independence step, which on the surface also looks a forward one as to how you saw your situation at home.
I hope you will come to get used to it and be able to plan your future from that base too, it is after all a stepping stone to your longer future and it may be that in the future you can move to bigger premises with someone else sharing that will help with bills etc:

Home is somewhere you can still visit and re charge your batteries so to speak,so I would hope you can stick at it and everyday is learning something more as to better ways of coping.
I applaud your efforts at only 20, and your position in work, they are all things to be really proud of as to achievements.
I am 21,nearly 22 and think, although I love being alone a lot of the time, I will always choose to be able to have someone else around.

So well done on taking that step to your independence, good luck for the future.

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Conzors

i met people that live inr the house opposite but i dont wanna feel like im bugging them

..just try to remember, Connor that meeting people/making new friends isn't 'bugging people'...it's not only a good thing for you obviously but it's good for them as well...we all 'stretch' by meeting new people as we go through life..and they get just as much pleasure out of it as you do..you only feel that you're 'bugging' them because you're so aware of your own changes in life and how you're feeling, so that's how you see it and what makes you 'hold back'..people need you and to be around other people just as much as you do...