[Stu]

Originally Posted by Livia

Of course, he could mean that money changes hands.

Or you know ... the general level of tedium and never seeming to have the right parts.

[michael21]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

I could definitely be in one. I dont do jealousy and such, and it would definitely stop you getting bored in a relationship

As long as they come home to you at the end of the day, everythings fine

what about if there do it in your bed

[joeysteele]

I think if it is acceptable to 2 people in a relationship then fine, it could probably help keep them closer as it would bring about a great respect for the others freedom still.

It would likely suit me as I don't really like the thought of being thought of as being 'owned' by anyone.
However, I guess I haven't really been in love yet so maybe my attitude will change dramatically when and if that ever happens.

[Z]

I know of a couple who agreed to an open relationship because one of them wanted to sleep around and the other one didn't want it to end so compromised to keep the other one happy... and the one who wanted the open relationship then brought a third person "into" the relationship so now they have a polyamorous relationship... except the one who didn't want the open relationship and the third person aren't in a relationship, they just share the one who wanted it to be open.

Sounds totally crazy to me and I think that would drive you to depression and would make you very insecure about yourself - would it not make you feel like you're not good enough to keep someone you love's interest? That would be my number one fear, I would hate that so much.

[Kizzy]

No I couldn't, I'm well jel. I have to be numero uno

[Lee.]

To me, an open relationship isn't a proper relationship, it's just shagging around with a safety net.
A relationship to me means friendship, honesty, closeness, trust and commitment.. Not wondering who your OH has been nailing of a night.

[Jessica.]

Originally Posted by Livia

No way. If I'm with a bloke I want his 100% attention. I don't do sharesies.

I agree with this.

[Jemal]

Think about it.. Your 'open relationship' would be like dexter and erm whatever her name was. Charlotte i think.

Would you actually want your relationship to be like that?
Open or not

[Toy Soldier]

If both people are genuinely interested in a relationship like that, then it's completely their business, and who is anyone to judge or deem it "not a real relationship"? Some people completely separate sex from emotional closeness so I can definitely see how people who genuinely love each other might not be bothered by the others sexual activity. They wouldn't be "sitting around wondering" - do you sit around wondering what your partner did at work that day? Does it even cross your mind? Hypothetically, it could be like that.

I can see the sort of people it might work for - two people who enjoy a "party lifestyle" and the thrill of random encounters but also want companionship at the end of the day.

It does have to be BOTH people though. Both have to be actively engaging in encounters with other people. Not just one sleeping around and the other SAYING "that's ok"... Because they're probably lying.

Should add, it's definitely not something I'd be into myself... I'm not hugely interested in other women, and I'd definitely not deal with it well if she was with other men.

But yeah... Just because its not for me, I'm not going to say it couldn't work in certain circumstances.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Josy

No I couldn't be in one ever, if anyone else went near my OH I think I would actually scratch their eyes out

haha this ^

Not a chance in hell, I'm an all or nothing type of girl when it comes to relationships. I wouldn't want to be with someone else and I certainly wouldn't want my partner to be. If other people are happy doing it that's their business, I don't see how it could work and not effect a healthy relationship though

[Nedusa]

No..........can't be done the clue's in the word "Relationship" if it is a relationship then trust, fidelity, love, mutual respect all apply. without these there is NO relationship just people kidding themselves, thinking they can commit to someone BUT still have sex with whoever and whatever.........!!!

So an "open relationship" is a contradiction of terms like Hot Ice-cream or a gentle torturer or a Towering midget..............!!!!!!

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by swinearefine

I don't necessarily believe in relationships. Sex and friendship are totally different things, and I don't see why you can't have partner without having sex or have sex with other people when you're in a relationship. To me sex is no different than Monopoly; if you're in a relationship would you get mad if your partner played monopoly with someone else?

I don't think you're doing it right

[Natalie.]

I think if people want to do that and they can handle that then they can do whatever they want, I wouldn't judge them on it.

I wouldn't have one, don't see the point. I want either a relationship or to be free.If I was in a relationship and he said let's see other people I would end it and we could both see whoever we wanted, I'd get too paranoid/jealous.

[Niamh.]

Also, what if you're in an open marriage and have kids and you get pregnant and you don't know for sure if it's your husbands or your husband gets someone pregnant, then there's diseases to think about as well

[smeagol]

everyone is in a open relashionship its just usually only one knows it lol

i can do it. id prefer not too though but. not really a problem. if your not in lurve

[Ammi]

..I guess that I don't truly fully understand an open relationship, as in two people committing to each other but feeling the need to be with other people...if those two people have committed to marriage , then no, I believe in marriage vows completely..'forsaking all others....'...if they're not married/don't want to fully commit and see many people or more than one person at the same time, then so long as everyone is open and honest about that, it may be ok, but I wonder if all parties involved have the same mind-set and no one would get emotionally hurt...or if any one of the partners, more just 'agree' to it because they love the other person so much, they feel they have to if they want to keep them in their lives...I really don't know tbh...it seems as though it's just complicating your life/emotions ...

[armand.kay]

Tbh I can't be bothered with an actual relation atm so the idea of an open relationship is fine to me, but once I feel the need to settle down and get serious with someone then no.

[armand.kay]

There was a couple on tv who went go the pull together. They were both bi and would find people to join them for the night, they seemed perfectly happy to me

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by armand.kay

Tbh I can't be bothered with an actual relation atm so the idea of an open relationship is fine to me, but once I feel the need to settle down and get serious with someone then no.

..I think that's the thing though Armand, you' don't want an 'actual relationship'...I do understand that because an 'open relationship' to me is when someone has committed to one person but wants other relationships as well...and that's the bit I don't quite understand because I would say that you were describing more 'casual/non committed relationships' which is cool because you're not looking for anything more atm....

Originally Posted by armand.kay

There was a couple on tv who went go the pull together. They were both bi and would find people to join them for the night, they seemed perfectly happy to me

..I know three 'real life stories' similar to that and yeah, both parties were quite happy with it all/it was all very mutual etc...but it didn't stay that way for any of those three because 'emotions' can't always be accounted for and in all cases, one partner ended up having real feelings for someone else which had never been 'agreed' in their 'open relationship' and ended up with no relationship and some very hurt people.... and that's cool so long as you know that you are agreeing to the openness of it all and anything that comes with it...and I know people can cheat/break commitments etc anyway but I wonder if it's harder to come to terms with if you've consented to it....