[user104658]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

This issue can be addressed by using a fake profile though surely, then you really are anon aren't you?
I didn't say anything about 'pedophile rings' I said grooming, scenarios such as kids being added and chatted to posing as another child, asking for pictures and blackmailing the child if they don't comply.

Well yes, people can and do already do that (a gay friend of mine is on fb under a false name because he doesn't want coworkers to know he's gay, which makes me very sad...) but that's technically against Facebook rules. I think this new idea is Facebook attempting to "legitimise anonymity" because they know it's popular on other platforms... Whilst at the same time making it not truly anonymous. I'd guess that fb staff will be able to see real names at the click of a button, whereas with a fake account they'd either need to IP match or, failing that, have police involved with a warrant to attach a real face to a fake account.

[waterhog]

yes thats right TOY - it will all be accountable for eventully - but the point i am making is are people really interested in this anymore ? just seems so boring to me. much perfer a decent forum and choose topics i want to add my 10 cents to instead of trying to chat to lots of people who maybe just be online to waste some time. boring.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by waterhog

yes thats right TOY - it will all be accountable for eventully - but the point i am making is are people really interested in this anymore ? just seems so boring to me. much perfer a decent forum and choose topics i want to add my 10 cents to instead of trying to chat to lots of people who maybe just be online to waste some time. boring.

I much prefer independent forums too, but unfortunately they are a dying breed. The "average" Internet user these days knows nothing of the Internet outside of Facebook, Twitter, Wikipedia and maybe a quick Google search.

[LukeB]

this will please keyboard warriors

[coffee]

Why would they want to allow this after the whole deal about deleting profiles of performers who used their stage name instead of their real name? The excuse they used for that was that it's to keep facebook a safe place and obviously this isn't going to be safe at all :/

[waterhog]

from that toy soilder i can see your friend is living a lie and he is either using disgracebook or bitter to make new friends and maybe to arrange casual to do's. to me what ever the reason - it is both sad. there are websites to arrange this and you do not need to give your real name - so you either be honest and put it on disgraceacebook for the world to see and tell the nation everything about yourself and if you don't like it - use other sites that you can remain anonymous ie no strings. both point to me there is no need for disgracebook or bitter in this society and i back you toy - nothing better then a good old forum.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by waterhog

from that toy soilder i can see your friend is living a lie and he is either using disgracebook or bitter to make new friends and maybe to arrange casual to do's. to me what ever the reason - it is both sad. there are websites to arrange this and you do not need to give your real name - so you either be honest and put it on disgraceacebook for the world to see and tell the nation everything about yourself and if you don't like it - use other sites that you can remain anonymous ie no strings. both point to me there is no need for disgracebook or bitter in this society and i back you toy - nothing better then a good old forum.

Actually it's sadder than that! He was out as gay from the age of 17 happily, all through University too, so all of his school and Uni friends know he is gay. He's with a long term partner and they're even engaged. So he has all of us (his school, uni and other friends) on facebook and is just himself on there, but when he started his career, he sort of "went back in the closet" with coworkers... So now he uses a fake name on facebook because he's scared that they'll find him on there and find out that he's gay. Can't be nice for his partner, either .

[lostalex]

I've dated a closeted guy before, toy soldier is right, it's not fun. It's a total mind****. It makes you feel like he's ashamed of you, and that he's ashamed of himself. It's a form of slavery. You don't know if you are allowed to touch him or hold his hand or talk about him or talk to his friends. It's like those stories you hear about women being locked in their house with the windows boarded up and totally cut off from the outside world. The closeted guy has all the power over what you can and cannot say, and to whom, and at what time and where you are allowed to show him affection.

Being in a relationship with a closeted person is a form of abuse imho.

[user104658]

Originally Posted by lostalex

I've dated a closeted guy before, toy soldier is right, it's not fun. It's a total mind****. It makes you feel like he's ashamed of you, and that he's ashamed of himself. It's a form of slavery. You don't know if you are allowed to touch him or hold his hand or talk about him or talk to his friends. It's like those stories you hear about women being locked in their house with the windows boarded up and totally cut off from the outside world. The closeted guy has all the power over what you can and cannot say, and to whom, and at what time and where you are allowed to show him affection.

Being in a relationship with a closeted person is a form of abuse imho.

The oddest part really is his "half in, half out" situation. They live in one city and he works in another, an hour's drive away. He basically is totally "out", with friends, family, and "their city"... they live together, go out (openly) together at night, are affectionate in public, just a normal relationship... but he keeps his "work life" totally separate and if he's in that other city, he's "back in the closet". He's worried about how he'll be treated at work and what it will mean for his career prospects... which is really depressing, must be a **** thing to have to consider because it obviously shouldn't matter. And he doesn't even know if it WOULD matter - he has no idea how they would react... it's just that he's heard a few making homophobic comments in passing. The reality is that they probably didn't "mean it" and would never have said it at all if they knew he was gay.

I wouldn't go so far as to call it abuse, I think his partner for the mostpart understands, but yeah, I imagine it still must sting to feel like a "dirty secret" even if it is only for that one part of his life. I also always think that, surely, he must always be keeping an eye out incase he spots someone from work when they're out... as it being another city doesn't mean it's impossible that he'll run into someone. Which means he surely can't ever be totally relaxed with public affection.