[Glenn.]

I started to read the first one but the literature was so shocking I had to stop. The woman cannot write books.

[user104658]

The books are awful, the semi-literate ramblings of a sexually frustrated middle aged woman. Anyone who calls their protagonist "Anastasia" should be tarred and feathered, for a start, and don't get me started on the "literary technique". It lies somewhere between "5 year old" and "Angry cat that got ink on its claws and then scrabbled across a piece of paper".

The film - almost unfathomably - is even worse. That's not to say "don't watch it", though, I found it oddly compelling viewing because it is so bad that you just have to keep watching. I can't decide if the actors are bad, or if the script is just so infantile that they don't know what to do with it? Either way, there's no chemistry between the two leads, and also, it's the film of a book that became famous for explicit depictions of pseudo-BDSM sex but all of the sex in the film is completely tame and vanilla. There's not a hint of BDSM, at all. At one point he starts STROKING HER LIGHTLY with a leather whip. At the very end, they engage in some relatively mild caning and she starts bawling and asking "why does you wants to hurt me tho ". Which he explained in great detail right at the beginning of the film and asked if she was up for it. They have a debate over a table about whether or not anal fisting is OK and she seems pretty much up for anything but... and then he hits her lightly with a stick and she cries. It's ****ing retarded.

There's also far too much aviation.

tl;dr: Christian Grey declares near the beginning of the film - "I don't make love, Anastasia, I fawk.". He then proceeds to make love for the rest of the film. And fly a helicopter. And a plane. And I think maybe a helicopter again. He also has a lot of cars.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

The books are awful, the semi-literate ramblings of a sexually frustrated middle aged woman. Anyone who calls their protagonist "Anastasia" should be tarred and feathered, for a start, and don't get me started on the "literary technique". It lies somewhere between "5 year old" and "Angry cat that got ink on its claws and then scrabbled across a piece of paper".

The film - almost unfathomably - is even worse. That's not to say "don't watch it", though, I found it oddly compelling viewing because it is so bad that you just have to keep watching. I can't decide if the actors are bad, or if the script is just so infantile that they don't know what to do with it? Either way, there's no chemistry between the two leads, and also, it's the film of a book that became famous for explicit depictions of pseudo-BDSM sex but all of the sex in the film is completely tame and vanilla. There's not a hint of BDSM, at all. At one point he starts STROKING HER LIGHTLY with a leather whip. At the very end, they engage in some relatively mild caning and she starts bawling and asking "why does you wants to hurt me tho ". Which he explained in great detail right at the beginning of the film and asked if she was up for it. They have a debate over a table about whether or not anal fisting is OK and she seems pretty much up for anything but... and then he hits her lightly with a stick and she cries. It's ****ing retarded.

There's also far too much aviation.

tl;dr: Christian Grey declares near the beginning of the film - "I don't make love, Anastasia, I fawk.". He then proceeds to make love for the rest of the film. And fly a helicopter. And a plane. And I think maybe a helicopter again. He also has a lot of cars.

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

The books are awful, the semi-literate ramblings of a sexually frustrated middle aged woman. Anyone who calls their protagonist "Anastasia" should be tarred and feathered, for a start, and don't get me started on the "literary technique". It lies somewhere between "5 year old" and "Angry cat that got ink on its claws and then scrabbled across a piece of paper".

The film - almost unfathomably - is even worse. That's not to say "don't watch it", though, I found it oddly compelling viewing because it is so bad that you just have to keep watching. I can't decide if the actors are bad, or if the script is just so infantile that they don't know what to do with it? Either way, there's no chemistry between the two leads, and also, it's the film of a book that became famous for explicit depictions of pseudo-BDSM sex but all of the sex in the film is completely tame and vanilla. There's not a hint of BDSM, at all. At one point he starts STROKING HER LIGHTLY with a leather whip. At the very end, they engage in some relatively mild caning and she starts bawling and asking "why does you wants to hurt me tho ". Which he explained in great detail right at the beginning of the film and asked if she was up for it. They have a debate over a table about whether or not anal fisting is OK and she seems pretty much up for anything but... and then he hits her lightly with a stick and she cries. It's ****ing retarded.

There's also far too much aviation.

tl;dr: Christian Grey declares near the beginning of the film - "I don't make love, Anastasia, I fawk.". He then proceeds to make love for the rest of the film. And fly a helicopter. And a plane. And I think maybe a helicopter again. He also has a lot of cars.

What I like about this response is that you actually read the books and watched the movie before coming out with the opinion of how bad it was.

And that is why these books/movie are still the prime topic of conversation, because the majority of the people ranting and raving about it, have no idea what it is. It keeps books that are no better than harlequin romances or any other **** paperback romance novel it the spot light and gives it traction.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Mokkajava

What I like about this response is that you actually read the books and watched the movie before coming out with the opinion of how bad it was.

And that is why these books/movie are still the prime topic of conversation, because the majority of the people ranting and raving about it, have no idea what it is. It keeps books that are no better than harlequin romances or any other **** paperback romance novel it the spot light and gives it traction.

Yup. So many talk about it when its clear they havent read the books or watched the film. I have seen arguments on DS about how 'rapey' the books are by people who clearly have never read them and have simply stumbled across an internet site that takes every sentence completely out of context

The books werent bad. They weren't good but they weren't bad. The first is by FAR the worst literacy wise, as its just full of sex and it made me cringe how things were always described as such

Spoiler:

He kissed gently to the apex of my thighs to get to my sex

Like...really?! 'My sex'?

Looking past the silly constant sex bits in the first book though, the second and third have more actual story to them, and as I said earlier I am yet to find any part where it wasn't consensual, despite so many people claiming it happens...

The film was..quite bad. I actually went to see it for two reasons. One, so I wasnt the only person not to have seen it, and two...to see how on earth they could get an actor to say half of the lines in the book seriously Luckily they missed out the more cringey stuff (eg. 'Dont worry, you expand too )

But anyway, as I said earlier, I don't understand the fuss. Some of the book is badly written. However its not as bad as some say./ I do not understand those who reckon its bloody amazing. People who say its glorified rape need to give their heads a wobble and read it properly. The quotes on websites are taken entirely out of context and the girl enjoys it all tbh (besides a tickling part...but that can hardly be classed as rapey ). Second/third book isnt even about S&M...and if anyone doubts how much the female likes it, the guy gives up all the bondage and stuff and shes constantly trying to get him back into it all....

[Mokka]

Originally Posted by Vicky.

Yup. So many talk about it when its clear they havent read the books or watched the film. I have seen arguments on DS about how 'rapey' the books are by people who clearly have never read them and have simply stumbled across an internet site that takes every sentence completely out of context

The books werent bad. They weren't good but they weren't bad. The first is by FAR the worst literacy wise, as its just full of sex and it made me cringe how things were always described as such

Spoiler:

He kissed gently to the apex of my thighs to get to my sex

Like...really?! 'My sex'?

Looking past the silly constant sex bits in the first book though, the second and third have more actual story to them, and as I said earlier I am yet to find any part where it wasn't consensual, despite so many people claiming it happens...

The film was..quite bad. I actually went to see it for two reasons. One, so I wasnt the only person not to have seen it, and two...to see how on earth they could get an actor to say half of the lines in the book seriously Luckily they missed out the more cringey stuff (eg. 'Dont worry, you expand too )

But anyway, as I said earlier, I don't understand the fuss. Some of the book is badly written. However its not as bad as some say./ I do not understand those who reckon its bloody amazing. People who say its glorified rape need to give their heads a wobble and read it properly. The quotes on websites are taken entirely out of context and the girl enjoys it all tbh (besides a tickling part...but that can hardly be classed as rapey ). Second/third book isnt even about S&M...and if anyone doubts how much the female likes it, the guy gives up all the bondage and stuff and shes constantly trying to get him back into it all....

I think your evaluation is about as close to how I feel about it as anyone can get Vicky

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

tl;dr: Christian Grey declares near the beginning of the film - "I don't make love, Anastasia, I fawk.". He then proceeds to make love for the rest of the film. And fly a helicopter. And a plane. And I think maybe a helicopter again. He also has a lot of cars.

Best summation of the film (and the book tbh) I have seen yet.

[lily.]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

The books are awful, the semi-literate ramblings of a sexually frustrated middle aged woman. Anyone who calls their protagonist "Anastasia" should be tarred and feathered, for a start, and don't get me started on the "literary technique". It lies somewhere between "5 year old" and "Angry cat that got ink on its claws and then scrabbled across a piece of paper".

The film - almost unfathomably - is even worse. That's not to say "don't watch it", though, I found it oddly compelling viewing because it is so bad that you just have to keep watching. I can't decide if the actors are bad, or if the script is just so infantile that they don't know what to do with it? Either way, there's no chemistry between the two leads, and also, it's the film of a book that became famous for explicit depictions of pseudo-BDSM sex but all of the sex in the film is completely tame and vanilla. There's not a hint of BDSM, at all. At one point he starts STROKING HER LIGHTLY with a leather whip. At the very end, they engage in some relatively mild caning and she starts bawling and asking "why does you wants to hurt me tho ". Which he explained in great detail right at the beginning of the film and asked if she was up for it. They have a debate over a table about whether or not anal fisting is OK and she seems pretty much up for anything but... and then he hits her lightly with a stick and she cries. It's ****ing retarded.

There's also far too much aviation.

tl;dr: Christian Grey declares near the beginning of the film - "I don't make love, Anastasia, I fawk.". He then proceeds to make love for the rest of the film. And fly a helicopter. And a plane. And I think maybe a helicopter again. He also has a lot of cars.

lol.. Loving this review... Might have to read it now so I can review it...