[arista]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

My son has DCD ( developmental co-ordination disorder) and a dx of ADHD he was regularly offered ritalin during his primary years ( which I declined everytime) they attempted to knock the corners of him at school and it worked.... he was bullied by both students and staff all through school for being different.
I can well understand why kids hate school if they can't conform.

He needs a Drum Kit

[Kizzy]

Originally Posted by arista

He needs a Drum Kit

He needs one of those like I need another hole in my a*se.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by arista

He needs a Drum Kit

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

He needs one of those like I need another hole in my a*se.

[rubymoo]

My nephew was suffering bullying at school - he was given a red card to get him out of class if he felt overwhelmed or if he felt threatened, this red card just gave him an excuse to use it as and when he felt like it, he could then go to student services get a cup of tea and a biscuit and play on the playstation to calm him down, fast forward to GCSE exams and he pretty much failed them all, not one member of staff dealt with his situation, he was pretty much set up to fail by being given a red card, because of the lack of structure and boundaries both in his home life and at school, he is now 18, has contemplated suicide, been on anti depressants, he has no aims or aspirations for the future and is in a very dependent relationship with his girlfriend (him being dependent), i worry for him and his future, and many people looking from the outside in would say that he is a kid/young adult who has been given everything (but in my opinion being on the inside, the one thing he hasn't had is safety and security, both in his home life and school life).

[rubymoo]

And don't even get me started on the vivo reward system......!

[user104658]

Originally Posted by rubymoo

And don't even get me started on the vivo reward system......!

All Reward / Praise / Exclusion / Punishment systems are pretty widely accepted in the psychology community as being absolutely awful ways to teach humans anything at all. They work well for dogs, and highly unintelligent / unimaginative people.

And yet schools across the country seem to be absolutely obsessed with using these sorts of systems.

You can't even "opt out" (we asked...) because apparently that would "be confusing for the other kids". I don't think it's socially acceptable to point out that I don't give a stuff about other people's kids . So as it stands we just massively undermine the system with our daughter by laughing about it and making fun of it. She has a traffic light system in her room with her teacher's name as the sticker, and at the end of the day she gets to decide if the teacher was well behaved or not .

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

I completely agree with that, and maybe we've just had bad experiences, but unfortunately the impression we've gotten in practice when trying to be very actively involved is a bit of a roll of the eyes and an impression that we're pestering / stepping on the teacher's toes with our suggestions. A sort of "Thanks but we know what we're doing, go home please" atmosphere.

It's just frustrating, because we were actually fully prepared to home-school and our eldest only went to school because she's extremely social and because she wanted to go. She's made countless good friends and most days she loves it... but under the surface, so far it's just been constant work every day to undo little bits of damage that are being caused along the way.

Funnily enouigh, for our 3-year-old, who is on the Autistic spectrum, we're looking into a local specialist ASD school (one of the best in the country is very luckily right on our doorstep) and when I was reading the information - the relaxed learning structure, the personal tailoring to ability, the selective curriculums, the less rigid routine for those who need it - my immediate reaction was just "This sounds brilliant... it sounds like how ALL primary schools should be??". I guess funding levels make that impossible, though. Which is very, very sad. Systematically breaking our children because there isn't enough money.

…obviously I don’t know what your actual conversations and suggestions have been so can’t comment on that but in my experience, there is nothing that a school encourages more than a parent taking an interest and also becoming actively involved in lessons on a voluntary basis if that’s possible, with work commitments etc, I know that it sometimes isn’t though…but again that’s ‘working together’, which really is only going to improve a child’s happiness at school….whether it be pupils/parents/students gaining work experience etc, a school is a caring and nurturing environment and ideas and suggestions are usually something that are very much listened to and welcomed from everyone..I’m sorry that with you personally, there has not been the communication that you felt there should be…ideas and suggestions though obviously have to be right for many individual personalities in a classroom/school though so may not always be something that could be possible….maybe spending time at your daughter’s school/in her class would be something that would be a good idea..?..or thinking of becoming a School Governor there would be a great thing..?..in any case though, you shouldn’t feel as though you’ve been met with ‘rolling eyes’ and I personally (if I had any issues..)..wouldn’t accept that and speak to the head teacher ..or maybe even, the Chair of Governor’s if I felt that was appropriate…but you say that your daughter has many friends, seems a happy child..?..and that most days she loves school so is that not really saying a general ‘school system positive’, with maybe just a bit better communication required on some things that you feel less happy about…


...with your youngest daughter, it’s a good thing that she has been diagnosed so young as many parents often struggle to get a diagnosis for their children and this is a huge problem and those are really (in the system), the more ‘lost children’ and struggling families…a diagnosis means funding/extra help/extra specific resources etc and meeting a child's needs… so always a good thing…obviously you have a choice in which school she goes to…the reason that specialist schools can provide more is just that really, they’re ‘specialist’ so geared and resourced up obviously in a way that a mainstream school wouldn’t be and obviously much smaller classroom sizes as well…we have two really great ones locally and I think the staff ratio being funded in them is for 1-5 children, which is something that just can’t happen in a mainstream school..for instance, if specific training was required for a child in a mainstream school like de-escalating training..?..then probably 4/5 staff at that school would have funding for that training, whereas in specialist schools, virtually every member of staff will be fully trained in most things because they are ‘specialist’…we also have some referral/education units not too far away with classroom sizes as small as 5-10 children, so yeah, some great advantages there…but many parents also prefer to have their child at a mainstream school even with the larger classroom sizes because that also offers so much to the child as well… /it really is down to the individual child’s needs and what the parent feels is right for them and what you would feel is right for your daughter….

[Cal.]

Doesn't surprise me in the slightest lmao

Schools are just exam factories

[Ammi]

Originally Posted by Who Is She?

Doesn't surprise me in the slightest lmao

Schools are just exam factories

..yea, far too many Cal and so much pressure on young people with them...

[JoshBB]

Probably because how the education system is so geared around getting a qualification and not actually learning the subject, leaving people to feel like they've 'failed' if they dont get what they wanted.

[arista]

Originally Posted by Kizzy

He needs one of those like I need another hole in my a*se.

a Electric Drum Pad kit with headphones
would not disturb you

[arista]

Example Roland

[rubymoo]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

All Reward / Praise / Exclusion / Punishment systems are pretty widely accepted in the psychology community as being absolutely awful ways to teach humans anything at all. They work well for dogs, and highly unintelligent / unimaginative people.

And yet schools across the country seem to be absolutely obsessed with using these sorts of systems.

You can't even "opt out" (we asked...) because apparently that would "be confusing for the other kids". I don't think it's socially acceptable to point out that I don't give a stuff about other people's kids . So as it stands we just massively undermine the system with our daughter by laughing about it and making fun of it. She has a traffic light system in her room with her teacher's name as the sticker, and at the end of the day she gets to decide if the teacher was well behaved or not .

The reward systems are a pile of ****e!

I agree with you completely and your post made me smile as it was as if i'd written it myself i too have asked if my children can be withdrawn from the reward system as it's geared towards the disruptive, badly behaved students or those who are at the top of the class, since my girls are in the middle, and well behaved the system completely ignores them, it's like having a reward chart for toddlers aimed at teenagers, so i have had to go down the path of ridiculing it and rewarding my girls myself for their hard work, which is a lot more age appropriate and it works as my girls continue to work hard at school and get the grades they have worked for, one of my daughters rewards was a skive day at the end of summer term, i took her bowling and out for a meal, we had proper together time and i know that my approach is a reward worth working hard for

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by arista

Example Roland

Both my sons had/have drum kits and guitars and microphone systems and now play and sing in in a band. My daughter also sings.


The racket was deafening at times - especially when their mates were sleeping over and brought their guitars, but I was just happy that all my kids were happy.

[the truth]

Originally Posted by rubymoo

My nephew was suffering bullying at school - he was given a red card to get him out of class if he felt overwhelmed or if he felt threatened, this red card just gave him an excuse to use it as and when he felt like it, he could then go to student services get a cup of tea and a biscuit and play on the playstation to calm him down, fast forward to GCSE exams and he pretty much failed them all, not one member of staff dealt with his situation, he was pretty much set up to fail by being given a red card, because of the lack of structure and boundaries both in his home life and at school, he is now 18, has contemplated suicide, been on anti depressants, he has no aims or aspirations for the future and is in a very dependent relationship with his girlfriend (him being dependent), i worry for him and his future, and many people looking from the outside in would say that he is a kid/young adult who has been given everything (but in my opinion being on the inside, the one thing he hasn't had is safety and security, both in his home life and school life).

boys need a combination of structure and discipline as well as play time...they learn totally differently to girls ...but were not allowed to say that by the sick evil feminazis and the politically correct psychos of new labour....hence record male suicides in young men. its a farking national disgrace

[armand.kay]

Schoolchildren in England are among the most unhappy in the world, faring worse than those in Ethiopia, Algeria and Romania, a charity has warned.

bye..

[user104658]

Originally Posted by armand.kay

bye..

Happiness beyond the basic needs such as food, water, shelter and companionship is really not linked to wealth at all so there is absolutely no reason to assume that just because a country is "poorer", its people aren't happier.

Some people live very happy, content lives almost completely "off the grid" with no material wealth at all. Some very rich people are so miserable that they take their own lives before they hit middle age.

The UK is a miserable place. People have miserable, materialistic priorities here. That's pushed by parents, in schools, and by the government every day... trying to convince us all from the age of 5 that the ultimate goals in life are "good grades", for "good jobs" and then "plenty of money" (and then supposedly you will be happy). When you combine that with crappy weather conditions that stop people from getting back to any sort of natural state at all, then no, it's not surprising that we're an unhappy nation at all.

[JoshBB]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Happiness beyond the basic needs such as food, water, shelter and companionship is really not linked to wealth at all so there is absolutely no reason to assume that just because a country is "poorer", its people aren't happier.

Some people live very happy, content lives almost completely "off the grid" with no material wealth at all. Some very rich people are so miserable that they take their own lives before they hit middle age.

The UK is a miserable place. People have miserable, materialistic priorities here. That's pushed by parents, in schools, and by the government every day... trying to convince us all from the age of 5 that the ultimate goals in life are "good grades", for "good jobs" and then "plenty of money" (and then supposedly you will be happy). When you combine that with crappy weather conditions that stop people from getting back to any sort of natural state at all, then no, it's not surprising that we're an unhappy nation at all.

I think this is a well-worded and accurate post. Due to the society we grow up in, an element of materialism and strive for a 'well-paying' job is almost necessary especially since we fail to take care of the most vulnerable, the disabled, homeless, and unemployed. We see that as "what happens if you dont succeed" and it leads to a kind of win or die mentality, if that's the right way to phrase it.

[Cherie]

Originally Posted by Toy Soldier

Happiness beyond the basic needs such as food, water, shelter and companionship is really not linked to wealth at all so there is absolutely no reason to assume that just because a country is "poorer", its people aren't happier.

Some people live very happy, content lives almost completely "off the grid" with no material wealth at all. Some very rich people are so miserable that they take their own lives before they hit middle age.

The UK is a miserable place. People have miserable, materialistic priorities here. That's pushed by parents, in schools, and by the government every day... trying to convince us all from the age of 5 that the ultimate goals in life are "good grades", for "good jobs" and then "plenty of money" (and then supposedly you will be happy). When you combine that with crappy weather conditions that stop people from getting back to any sort of natural state at all, then no, it's not surprising that we're an unhappy nation at all.

add to that celeb culture, addiction to social media and hang on so called celebs every move it's no wonder kids are discontented

[user104658]

Originally Posted by Cherie

add to that celeb culture, addiction to social media and hang on so called celebs every move it's no wonder kids are discontented

Yeah social media is a big factor really, people cherry picking and exaggerating the best parts of their lives to share with everyone whilst for the mostpart leaving out the less good things that balance it out... The effect being that EVERYONE ends up thinking that everyone else's lives are better than theirs. Facebook bragging is a bit of a pet-peeve of mine.

[billy123]

Tom does always seem a bit moany

[arista]

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

Both my sons had/have drum kits and guitars and microphone systems and now play and sing in in a band. My daughter also sings.


The racket was deafening at times - especially when their mates were sleeping over and brought their guitars, but I was just happy that all my kids were happy.

Yes Kirk old days
Now With Electric Drum kits
they have a headphone socket

[kirklancaster]

Reading some of the threads on here lately about how terrible a race the Brits are and what a dreadful place this really is, has me wondering just why so many immigrants want to come here.

[the truth]

1) becausetheyre in war zones
2) because we speak English
30 BECAUSE OF OU BENEFITS SYSTEM