[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Withano

The age of consent is 16. Im not so sure thats a great idea.. Let her make the decisions that she is legally allowed to make without you..

yeah wait till you have kids and see if you still think that way

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

yeah wait till you have kids and see if you still think that way

I know what teenage boys are like . After all i was one. Even if it was a long long time ago ha ha . R.

[user104658]

Hey guys I hooked up with this girl on Tinder last night and I'm a bit concerned. She said she was 20 but she looked kind of young and I'm not convinced? I asked to meet up again tonight but she said she was going to the cinema with her m... O... Uh oh... Never mind...

[T*]

*awkward cough to break the silence*

[Rob!]

I think what you have to bear in mind is that she's 16 and old enough (and, to put it bluntly, legal enough) to make her own decisions. I understand your concern but we live in a generation where social media and dating apps are the norm and at 16 she's seeing the world around her in a very different way to how she was 10 years ago. By all means have a chat with her, but do it in a way to make sure she knows what she's doing and make sure she's aware of some of the dangers. If you go in all guns blazing she's unlikely to respond very well.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Rob!

I think what you have to bear in mind is that she's 16 and old enough (and, to put it bluntly, legal enough) to make her own decisions. I understand your concern but we live in a generation where social media and dating apps are the norm and at 16 she's seeing the world around her in a very different way to how she was 10 years ago. By all means have a chat with her, but do it in a way to make sure she knows what she's doing and make sure she's aware of some of the dangers. If you go in all guns blazing she's unlikely to respond very well.

Not in my house, If she's old enough to make decisions like that, is she old enough to deal with the potential consequences that come with it? If she got pregnant, is she old enough to leave school, get herself her own place and look after a child or will she expect her parents to pick up the pieces? I would be telling my daughter she wasn't allowed to use a "dating" app and she would do as she's told as long as I'm feeding, clothing, paying for her education etc etc

[Marsh.]

Rob is grooming your daughter.

[Jamie89]

It's as safe as the people using it, so yes and no. If she's not meeting random strangers then I'd say it's perfectly safe* but it is primarily a dating app so most of the people using it will be looking to meet. So it just depends whether you trust her that she is just using it to make friends (you know her best but I'd be really surprised if many people would really chose to use tinder for that, it sounds like something you'd just say to your parents tbh )

Edit: *Although actually there's also the dangers of sending people intimate pictures and those pictures being used to bully them online which happens a lot especially with people around her age.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

It's as safe as the people using it, so yes and no. If she's not meeting random strangers then I'd say it's perfectly safe* but it is primarily a dating app so most of the people using it will be looking to meet. So it just depends whether you trust her that she is just using it to make friends (you know her best but I'd be really surprised if many people would really chose to use tinder for that, it sounds like something you'd just say to your parents tbh )

Edit: *Although actually there's also the dangers of sending people intimate pictures and those pictures being used to bully them online which happens a lot especially with people around her age.

Exactly Jamie. That's the thing, people saying it's legal so she can do what she likes. Yes it's technically legal but as a parent you're supposed to be looking out for your kids and trying to stop them making mistakes that could ruin their lives. I don't mean to sound condescending at all but when you're that age I don't think you think through just what could potentially happen in situations like this. How many stories have we heard about young girls being blackmailed after sending dodgy pictures to people online, or even people committing suicide when pictures have been shared online etc

[Jamie89]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Exactly Jamie. That's the thing, people saying it's legal so she can do what she likes. Yes it's technically legal but as a parent you're supposed to be looking out for your kids and trying to stop them making mistakes that could ruin their lives. I don't mean to sound condescending at all but when you're that age I don't think you think through just what could potentially happen in situations like this. How many stories have we heard about young girls being blackmailed after sending dodgy pictures to people online, or even people committing suicide when pictures have been shared online etc

Yeah that's true, and it's not just about age but general inexperience in using dating apps. I've always considered myself to be sensible but I know I've made some very un-sensible decisions using apps like that You can be sensible generally in life but if you don't know what your doing when it comes to meeting strangers and app dating is new to you etc then it's easy to get carried away and make bad choices.

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by Jamie89

Yeah that's true, and it's not just about age but general inexperience in using dating apps. I've always considered myself to be sensible but I know I've made some very un-sensible decisions using apps like that You can be sensible generally in life but if you don't know what your doing when it comes to meeting strangers and app dating is new to you etc then it's easy to get carried away and make bad choices.

Yeah plus I just don't get why a 16 year old needs to use a dating site anyway, like they have a million people in school not to mention discos etc. I mean I can understand it for older people who might not have opportunities to meet people but come one when you're 16?

[Jamie89]

Originally Posted by Niamh.

Yeah plus I just don't get why a 16 year old needs to use a dating site anyway, like they have a million people in school not to mention discos etc. I mean I can understand it for older people who might not have opportunities to meet people but come one when you're 16?

Probably not what Roger wants to hear but titillation I'd guess. And it can be exciting, getting attention etc (...and a 16 year old is probably going to get a lot of attention - from the wrong people ) I think the other thing to consider for Roger isn't just why she's using it, but why other people might be contacting her, what their intentions are etc, and if she's mature enough to deal with that attention and potential pressure they might put on her to send pictures and meet up etc

[Crimson Dynamo]

Im shocked her Mum is called Greg

(not that there is anything wrong with gay marriage )

[Ronald.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Im shocked her Mum is called Greg

(not that there is anything wrong with gay marriage )

My wife';s name is Margaret.

Had a word with my daughter and asked her to unsintall it. She told me that she already has . I have to just trust her word now and keep an eye out.

Thank you for all your advice.
Ronald

[Withano]

I dont understand why dating apps let under 16 and 17 year olds on in the first place. I cant think of a good reason why they shouldnt but its just weird to me.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Whenever I read a dodgy story about some social media disaster, murder, blackmail etc i discuss it with all the LTS and try to at least point out where the danger was in that situation as its impossible to monitor what they look at and do to a degree

[Niamh.]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Whenever I read a dodgy story about some social media disaster, murder, blackmail etc i discuss it with all the LTS and try to at least point out where the danger was in that situation as its impossible to monitor what they look at and do to a degree

Yeah absolutely, it's such a tough time to be a parent, these teenage years