[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Nicky91

yes, which is why i get stressed so damn much

please read the post above yours

[Mystic Mock]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Its science innit.

Young people like to be part of the tribe and they need to get a mate and procreate the selfish gene so you care deeply what people think, once you get a mate it reduces and combined with this as you get older you realise no one is looking at you, thinking about you and they are actually thinking about themselves. Combine that with the fact that as you get oldr you get more responsibility and more things to think about than yourself

So its a graph that starts at the top and reduces with age


Its good to remember this: "pretty much most of the time people are not thinking about you but themselves"

You're right to a certain extent I think LT, it's interesting how the Human mind can work sometimes when it comes to things such as friendship or just being respected.

[ethanjames]

yes a lot i have for years and years and i don't think i will ever go through a night where i cant sleep because im worrying if i may or may not have upset someone or if they actually liked me. i would love to not care but ive been ****ed over SO MANY TIMES in my lifetime its just part of my schedule to worry now.

[Crimson Dynamo]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

You're right to a certain extent I think LT, it's interesting how the Human mind can work sometimes when it comes to things such as friendship or just being respected.

Its best to just remember: " what other people think of you, is none of your business"

[Crimson Dynamo]

in fact that should be the new slogan for ML 2019

[Vanessa]

Don't give a monkey's

[kirklancaster]

I know who I am and I like myself. Those others who know me like me too, so if anyone has a different opinion of me I don't care because they DON'T know me.

[Kazanne]

No, not at all , I have people who love and care for me , I get on with most people , so I think I am quite likeable ,if I am not ,there is usually a good reason.

[Brillopad]

Originally Posted by Mystic Mock

Obviously everybody to some extent cares what people think of them, but do you obsess over what other people think of you?

For me I'm a contradiction as I care what people think of me a lot, but I won't change who I am just to please those people.

Poll will be coming shortly.

I think the question isn’t defined enough. I care what people I like think of me but I don’t care what people I don’t like think of me.

[AnnieK]

The older I get the less I care as its not something you can control.

In real life very few people like me when they first meet me. At work when we have new starters they all say I am very stand offish at first - to the point of being hostile - I am just actually incredibly shy and it takes me ages to weigh up new people - once I have got to know them a bit, I become most peoples fave at work as I am a bit daft and don't take myself too seriously but at first, I know I am awful but i honestly can't help it.

[Oliver_W]

Originally Posted by LeatherTrumpet

Its science innit.

Young people like to be part of the tribe and they need to get a mate and procreate the selfish gene so you care deeply what people think, once you get a mate it reduces and combined with this as you get older you realise no one is looking at you, thinking about you and they are actually thinking about themselves. Combine that with the fact that as you get oldr you get more responsibility and more things to think about than yourself

So its a graph that starts at the top and reduces with age


Its good to remember this: "pretty much most of the time people are not thinking about you but themselves"

Originally Posted by AnnieK

The older I get the less I care as its not something you can control.

Yes indeed. As you get older, you realise that very little matters - almost nothing, in fact.

Unless someone is psychic their thoughts can't hurt you, and why should you waste time worrying about someone else's inner monologue?

[Gusto Brunt]

No, because anyone's opinion of me is probably wrong.

[y.winter]

I care, but it's not something that I think of most of the time and it hardly influences what I do and believe.
I care mostly when I feel that there are some negative thoughts about me, and it's normally just being paranoid.

[JerseyWins]

I don't really like if people have negative thoughts about me or if I've legitimately upset someone. I definitely care a bit so I've voted yes but overall it doesn't effect me much though.

[Garfie]

I've always worried far too much, but I know this stems from the fact I have never ever felt I'm good enough, despite how many good friends I have or what I achieve. I've always convinced myself that any achievement is a fluke and that one day people will realise I'm not good enough. In relationships I'm always convinced that the closer people get, the more likely they are to realise I'm not good enough, so I keep everyone at arm's length. I believe this is called something like 'imposter syndrome'.

I look back over my life so far and realise how negatively this has affected me and how it has prevented me from having what I truly want in life. I've tried to work on this but no matter what I do, I can't seem to change the thoughts about me that I feel are a truth in my own mind. It's really sad really.

Anyhow, I have accepted this is my lot in life, but I do wonder whether those people that worry more about what others think do so because they are already in a negative thought pattern about themselves, and are subconsciously looking for confirmation that those thoughts are correct. Why, I don't know.

These days I tell others that if people don't matter to you or you don't care about them, their thoughts are irrelevant. That has helped me. However, I still worry incredibly about what those I do care about think of me. It's very self destructive but I don't think it's something I'll ever be able to change.