[CharlieO]

Originally Posted by Shaun

"Day 23 in the Big Brother House. MrGaryy, Scott and Shaun are pouring bags of flour over Kerry's clothes."

-cut to the garden-
Patrick: YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU FAILY BITCH
Smithy: BITCH DON'T MAKE ME CUT YOU -he picks up a knife; MeMyselfandI starts crying and asks to leave-

-cut to the kitchen-
Arista: Make me a Damn Sandwich, sign of the times.
-Novo throws the plate at the wall-

would be the best bb ever.

[Z]

-has started writing this imaginary BB house in short parody form-

[Patrick]

Originally Posted by Shaun

rofl foxysarah - I can see her being our very own Shahbaz

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Zee

-has started writing this imaginary BB house in short parody form-

LOL, please post it when you have done.

[Stu]

I want to write something like that now too. I'll mention it now before I get accused of ripping off Zee's idea. Which I kind of am.

But like ... shut up.

[Shaun]

I could never finish my SiaBB story - writing a show for every day was exhausting

[Z]

Yeah I'm bearing that in mind so I'm just writing the launch and then I'll mention tasks and eliminations in a whimsical way, it won't be a full on effort . Go for it Stu

[Patrick]

I keep thinking of Vicky in the Diary Room chair now shouting 'I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE FUN! IF I DON'T HAVE MY CIGARETTES!' like Nadia.

[_Seth]

Those stories are right funny. *thinks of one*

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Patrick

I keep thinking of Vicky in the Diary Room chair now shouting 'I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE FUN! IF I DON'T HAVE MY CIGARETTES!' like Nadia.

-imagines Foxysarah in the pool naked trying to entice me in-


-cries-

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Patrick

I keep thinking of Vicky in the Diary Room chair now shouting 'I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE FUN! IF I DON'T HAVE MY CIGARETTES!' like Nadia.

[Shaun]

roflmfao ben.

omg i'm dying imagining that

[Patrick]

Originally Posted by ukturtle

-imagines Foxysarah in the pool naked trying to entice me in-


-cries-

[CharlieO]

you could make a game out of this each member writes a day, like that game where you fold paper over.

[_Seth]

Day 32, Jack and Stacey are in the bedroom having nookie.

Niall: Stop it! Stop it!! Stop it you Geordie ****ing bugger!

-cuts to the living room-

Joe: Let's all gang up against Big Brother.
Patrick: Like no.

[Patrick]

Originally Posted by CharlieOsborne

you could make a game out of this each member writes a day, like that game where you fold paper over.

*Thought this was a Wii Game*

[_Seth]

I don't really know enough of/about the dynamics of this forum to create Big Brother scenarios.

[Patrick]

Day 3 in the Big Brother House.

On Thursday Night, 12 People entered the Big Brother house - so far none of them have recieved their suit cases or personal items.

Joe is in the Diary Room.

*Ginger hair covers Joe's eyes in an emo like style whilst he cries*

BB: Take all the time you need Joe.

Joe: I'M CRYING BECAUSE OF YOU! BECAUSE YOU WON'T GIVE ME MY ******ING ACTION FIGURES!

BB: Joe, Big Brother will not be providing you with any Doctor Who figures at this time.

*Joe Sobs*

BB: If there is nothing else, you are now free to leave the diary room.

-Joe Leaves the Diary Room and goes to sit in the kitchen alone-

Jack: You alright kid?

-Joe tries to knock a glass off the counter but misses-

Jack: Grumpy ginger little raincloud, ****** Off!

[Chuck]

[Shaun]

*spits out tea*

[Z]

Tense, rumbling music plays. A gigantic neon blue eye flashes on the screen, and then Big Brother: The New Generation appears on screen. Channel 5's viewer ratings had gone through the roof since the adverts had started, and a certain online community was watching every move. Hordes of members decided to apply for the show, due to the huge cash prize for the winner, and they all knew enough about the show to feel like they could play the game. It was on.

Launch Night

"It's been a while." The camera pans up the long shapely legs that are bound in silver leggings, up the long black trench coat and stops at the face of the presenter. "I am Zee and welcome to the reboot of Big Brother!" The crowd goes wild, the audience at home is left sexually confused and a little bit frustrated. "Oops, I appear to have dropped my cue card. Let me bend over and pick that up." Zee winked at the camera, and a rogue stage invader (LemonJam - who shrieked "HI MUM!" at the camera as he was dragged off stage) ran up and yanked off Zee's jacket and leggings in a suspiciously impressive oner, revealing a glittery gold bikini underneath. "Oops, I appear to be in my underwear. How embarrassing! Let me bend over and pick up my dignity." Zee posed for the paparazzi. "Tonight we're going to be introduced to a new batch of housemates, freshly baked from the fumes of their last day as a free person for the summer. We have a veritable baker's dozen of people, ready to be moulded like the dough brained idiots they are for choosing to accept this challenge. Without any further ado, let's meet the housemates."

cue the VTs and entries to the house randomly broken up by adverts and scarily sexual dialogue from Zee which won't be shown in full because quite frankly, what he did to that poster of Emile Hirsch was just bang out of order.

Smithy is wearing a feathered masquerade ball mask and is wearing a vibrant green wig. “Hi I’m Smithy, I was Born This Way.” He laughs, and then takes both items off and stares at the camera. “Seriously though, I’m a little monster.” The VT ends and he steps out of the limousine to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

Stacey has a look of disdain on her face. “I actually cannot stand fat people; I just think it’s really lazy and disgusting. I don’t really understand how people can get fat tbh. No, really, I don’t understand it ” Stacey steps out of the car to thunderous cheers from some sections of the crowd and ferocious boos from other parts.

Scott is wearing a pair of speedos and a crazed look on his face “Y’all should pick me ‘cause I’ll have sex live on TV! Unless my mum comes in omgz leona2. I'd be stunning, I'd wurk it!” Scott steps out of the car to huge cheers and chants of 'stunning, wurk it!' from the crowd.

MeMyselfandI grins at the camera and sings Run. “This is a Leona classic.” The interviewer tells him that it’s by Snow Patrol. “Yeah but Leona’s version sold more, like worldwide, **** no you’re wrong ” MMAI exits the car to loud boos, he starts swearing at the crowd who do not respond kindly to him.

MrGaryy is listing things he hates, using his fingers to count them. “Yah I’d say I hate like most people, I just think like, if it doesn’t affect me then why should I care? I simply cannot be doing with people who think Lady GaGa is this gift to modern music when she’s just a gimmick, Legendtina >” Gary steps out of the car to some cheers but mostly boos, he pouts for the paparazzi and poses for a little too long, causing Zee to start ripping into him to try and divert attention back to himself. What a slut.

Foxysarah is crying. “Am I ugly???????? People keep saying I am and even though I know they’re just doing it to get a reaction I can’t stop crying !!!!” The interviewer tells her she’s not ugly. “YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT!!!!” Foxysarah receives a surprisingly large number of cheers from people who feel a bit sorry for her, the boos aren't particularly loud, the crowd are unsure what to make of her.

arista is wearing a burka. “It’s for security. Sign Of The Times.” The interviewer asks him if he would take it off. “Stinking Labour can’t make me. Feel The Force.” Arista steps out to complete silence, the crowd want to see what he looks like and are mystified by his appearance - he is wearing a full body Hulk costume, it is impossible to tell what he looks like. He gets applauded slowly but surely as he makes his way up to the house.

bobnot is grinning. “I’m essentially in this for the laughs, I doubt I’ll win, I just want to annoy people. The more offensive and shocking I can be, the better.” Bobnot receives cheers for his wind up merchant angle on the VT.

Novo is doing keepie ups. “I don’t like gays, they’re really annoying, there’d better not be any in the Big Brother house. I know I’m going to get in, AndyBet has good odds on it.” The crowd laugh, knowing what's waiting for Novo inside the house in the form of Scott, and he also receives boos for his remarks in the VT.

Stu has bleached his hair for the occasion. “I like my hair to be white, like my people. Joking! I don’t like people.” The interviewer is taken aback. “Aw come on, surely casual racism is alright before I go into the house?” Stu exits the car to huge cheers, the crowd warmed to his joke, though some boos can be heard from people who took him literally. He bows majestically before he enters the house.

Patrick is ranting about the faily bastards who were in the interview room before he was. “Did you see that utter fail Jessica Walsh? She’s such an epic fail! I think I will win because I’m epic.” The crowd boos Patrick loudly and he reacts negatively, reacting similarly to MeMyselfandI.

Kerry is smiling at the interviewer. “I’ll speak to anyone, me. Can’t be doing with rude people but I expect most people feel the same way, I’m not afraid to speak my mind. I’d like to think I wouldn’t walk away from the house because I miss my kids, but you never know.” Kerry enters the house to cheers, she looks happy as she enters the house.

Shaun is the final housemate introduced. “I once downloaded the Burlesque OST. It was just half an hour of me pretending to be a showgirl when I'm not. I'm a fat boy in Torquay. leave me alone, you ****ing trannies. I’m not a people person, I kind of hate… well, everything.” The crowd is in a frenzy as Shaun leaves the limousine, the cheers are loud and the look on his face is priceless as he hears the music being played in the background is from the Burlesque OST; he plays along with the joke and grinds the staircase like a burlesque dancer before entering the house.


~more coming soon~

[Shaun]

I DON'T ****ING HATE EVERYTHING. oh my days.

[Chuck]

Originally Posted by Zee

[I]
Smithy is wearing a feathered masquerade ball mask and is wearing a vibrant green wig. “Hi I’m Smithy, I was Born This Way.” He laughs, and then takes both items off and stares at the camera. “Seriously though, I’m a little monster.” The VT ends and he steps out of the limousine to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

Stacey has a look of disdain on her face. “I actually cannot stand fat people; I just think it’s really lazy and disgusting. I don’t really understand how people can get fat tbh. No, really, I don’t understand it ” Stacey steps out of the car to thunderous cheers from some sections of the crowd and ferocious boos from other parts.

~more coming soon~

[CharlieO]

Originally Posted by Zee

[I]

"It's been a while." The camera pans up the long shapely legs that are bound in silver leggings, up the long black trench coat and stops at the face of the presenter. "I am Zee and welcome to the reboot of Big Brother!" The crowd goes wild, the audience at home is left sexually confused and a little bit frustrated. "Oops, I appear to have dropped my cue card. Let me bend over and pick that up." Zee winked at the camera, and a rogue stage invader (LemonJam - who shrieked "HI MUM!" at the camera as he was dragged off stage) ran up and yanked off Zee's jacket and leggings in a suspiciously impressive oner, revealing a glittery gold bikini underneath. "Oops, I appear to be in my underwear. How embarrassing! Let me bend over and pick up my dignity." Zee posed for the paparazzi.

such a channel 5 thing to happen.

[Patrick]

Zee that was fantastic.

I especially like how I got booed, that would so happen in real life.
I would get booed and then leave to like massive cheers, like Sophie Reade did.